Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are okay. Thanksgiving was nice. We had all the yummy food and a lot of people came over. It was a good day. But a few days before turkey day, Dad and I tried a place called Settler’s Table. It’s on Collins in Sunnyvale. Anyway, I don’t really have anything else to ramble about, so I figured I’d do a food review. We got delivery, so I can’t comment on accessibility or service for this one, but the food is really the important part for any restaurant. Any pictures are borrowed from Google because I wasn’t actually planning on reviewing this place.

First, a reminder of my rating system:

MMMMM = Everything is magnificent!
MMMM = Great, but something is off.
MMM = Pretty good, but a couple of things could be better.
MM = The bad’s starting to outweigh the good.
M = Definitely more cons than pros.
… = I couldn’t find anything nice to say.

Appetizer: Horny Toads. They’re deep fried pimento cheese balls with a jalapeño glaze. The melty cheese and crispy crust were actually really good, but the glaze was cloyingly sweet. I only made it through one and half before I gave up. First bite was good, but it just got worse with every bite after that.

Entrees: I got Dad the Naked Burger (a burger on a salad instead of a bun). I ordered medium rare hoping it would at least still be juicy even if they overcooked it a bit. Calling it a hockey puck is being generous. The salad was nothing special either. I got the rig-a-tuna. It was supposed to be herbed rigatoni with tuna and other things I really like. The flavor was pretty good, but the dish was super dry. I was kind of expecting pesto or at least some kind of oil dressing to combine all the dry ingredients together into a cohesive dish. Nope. It was all dry. Even the stuff that usually has some moisture (canned tuna, sundried tomatoes, etc.) felt like it had been drained and blotted dry. It was all just very sad.

Dessert: I got a slice of peanut butter pie. I was looking forward to it because I haven’t found a good peanut butter pie since Denny’s got rid of theirs. I still haven’t found one. It was kind of gritty and had pockets of sweetness vs. pockets of saltiness, like the filling hadn’t been mixed well. It was disappointing.

Price: about the same as everywhere else. If the food had been good, it would’ve been a decent price really, but as is, it wasn’t worth it.

My rating:
M

Note: I actually really wanted to like this place. It’s close by and has outdoor seating and would’ve been a nice place to go for a late lunch once in a while. I’m not just being a dick. The food just wasn’t good.