Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are quiet. There’s not much to ramble about. You know how Kindle has those reading challenges and sometimes you have to choose a book from a curated list? Well, I didn’t feel like spending money on a new romance book, so I checked to see if they had any that were free with Prime. There were a bunch of half-assed porn books (not that I have anything against those, I just prefer well-written porn) or a bunch of “classics.” I just grabbed the first classic I saw and decided to try it. I fucking hate it. Deeply despise it way down in the depths of my soul. I’m only about 75% of the way through and I will finish it, but there’s no chance of it redeeming itself. What is it? Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. Why do I hate it? Eh…

1. The writing style. Instead of telling the story in a straightforward way, which would’ve worked perfectly well, it’s mostly told as gossip to entertain a sick dude who has literally nothing to do with these people. It’s almost as bad as epistolary novels (books written as letters between multiple characters). This is definitely a me thing. I just don’t enjoy stories told second-hand, especially when they start mentioning the inner feelings of characters they would have no way of knowing about. It’s annoying.

2. The characters. There are zero redeeming features about any of these people. Oh, but it’s about love and missed moments and intense possessiveness! Bullshit. It’s about toxic, abusive personalities and what happens when they all collide hidden behind a thin excuse for love that’s really just childish possessive behavior that ran unchecked into adulthood. It’s not romantic. It’s not love. Heathcliff and Cathy are horrible and toxic and definitely more Joker/Harley than anything else. It’s gross. These are not the relationship goals you’re looking for. Also, the “good” characters are judgmental asshats.

3. The random animal abuse. There’s no reason for it. It’s quite obvious these people are horrible. The animal abuse is unnecessary.

I could go on, but it’s late. Needless to say, this book is bad. If you try to convince me otherwise, I’m going to guess that you haven’t actually read it. Maybe the movies twist it into something entertaining, but the book sucks.