Another Rant

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are annoying, but fine. It’s late on Tuesday because I spent too much time on the phone with Medicaid. Again. Then, I avoided productivity in favor of watching TV with Dad. Shame on me, I know. I’m mostly just having trouble mustering up energy to do anything. I wake up tired. I stay tired despite having my usual amounts of caffeine. Sleep has been normal (just meh). Everything is just meh. Anyway, since I don’t have anything to ramble about, I thought I’d go on a rant. Don’t worry. Next week is the book review, so it’ll be a regular post.

I don’t remember if I’ve talked about it here, but Medicaid decided to force me to sign up for something called Star+Plus back at the end of May. I looked into it and everything I read said I couldn’t be on that program because I’m also on a program called CLASS, plus I’m on Medicare. So, I asked my CLASS case manager and she assured me I could be on Star+Plus, but not on the waiver program version of it. I took her at her word and didn’t think much about it.

Fast forward to July 1st when the program is supposed to activate. Some stuff has occurred that has me questioning things, so I do another search about Star+Plus. I find one super hidden thing that says people on CLASS can be on the program, but everything else says I’m not eligible for it. Add on the fact that I try to activate an online account with the insurance company that handles Star+Plus and keep getting told that I don’t exist, and I start getting antsy. Being the paranoid person I am, I contact Medicaid multiple times over the next week and a half to ask what’s going on and why my account isn’t working and how come they tried to put me on this program when I’m already on this other program, etc. For days, I get passed around to different departments and told conflicting things until someone finally escalates my case.

I feel like a Karen when I have to deal with the government and I’m not sorry about it. I’m always polite, though.

When someone finally calls at 8:30 in the morning, I don’t answer. I call back and get swapped around a couple of times until someone can tell me the woman who called just wanted me to know she was investigating my case and would call me when she knew more. Why she couldn’t just tell me that in the message, I don’t know. So, I wait and I check my YourTexasBenefits account every single day. On Thursday (Dad’s birthday), all mention of Star+Plus is removed from my account. Yay, right? I figure I’ll be getting a call that everything is straightened out and I’m back on traditional Medicaid.

Still hadn’t heard anything yesterday, so I called to get an update. I get passed around a couple of times because it’s the government and they refuse to give you a direct line to the department you need. But I end up on the phone with someone in the wrong department but who actually seems to know what she’s talking about. She confirmed I was right all along and that being on CLASS and Medicare precludes me from being on Star+Plus. Everything in her system indicates that I’m back on traditional Medicaid. She made a note that all mention of Star+Plus was removed from my YourTexasBenefits account. And she got in touch with the escalation unit for me. Supposedly, they’re still waiting for some kind of confirmation from Medicaid that I’m back on traditional Medicaid and that’s why they haven’t been in touch.

So, this has all been a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. Because government. And I’m still waiting to officially be told I’m back on traditional Medicaid. Such fun. Ugh.

Dad’s Getting Old!

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? This is your yearly reminder that Dad is getting old. His birthday is tomorrow (July 18th)! If you have his number, you know what to do. Otherwise, leave your birthday love here or on my social media pages and I will pass them on! The plan thus far is dinner from Sunday Morning Catfish. Fried porkchop, catfish nuggets, shrimp. Mmm! You already know Dad’s the bestest. So, happy (early) birthday, old man! Love you!

It’s Disability Pride Month Again!

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are okay, I guess. We had a nice little BBQ with the Minion, his wifey, the family, and the new neighbors across the street on Saturday. Other than that, things keep going wrong for Dad and I’m dealing with government bullsheet surrounding my benefits. Because of that, I forgot July is Disability Pride Month. I’m not feeling very pride-y. Every time I finally feel like my benefits are settled and I’m coasting along, the government decides to “improve” something that screws everything up. And it doesn’t help that I have to fight for everything I need. I’m dreading the upcoming election. If Cheeto gets in and that Project 2025 gains traction, everyone is going to be screwed except maybe super rich white folks. So, even though I’m not a fan, fingers crossed for Biden and the status quo! But I’m starting to ramble. This is your yearly reminder that Disability Pride Month exists. Disabled people are worthy of all the same things “able” people are. We are not burdens or drains on society or dirty little secrets. We are human beings. And, according to WHO, approximately 1 in 6 people are significantly disabled and that number is rising. Yay for fun facts!

Anyway, I decided to share an explanation of the Disability Pride flag. I might have done this before, but I’m too lazy to check my previous post.

Ann Magill’s original idea contained bold colors and a zigzag design, but after complaints from individuals with sensory issues (the design triggered migraines and created a strobing effect when scrolling), she revamped the idea with straight lines and muted colors that were grouped differently to avoid the negative effects. Here are some of the meanings behind the flag:

Black: The black background symbolizes the mourning of disabled people who have been victimized by ableism or lost to disability-fueled violence, abuse/negligence, and death.

Diagonal stripes: The stripes cut through the darkness (i.e., barriers).

Multi-colored: The disability pride flag includes all six standard international flag colors to indicate that the disability is a global thing.

Green: Sensory disabilities (blindness, deafness, lack of smell, lack of taste, etc.).

Blue: Psychiatric disabilities (anxiety, depression, etc.).

White: Invisible disabilities and/or undiagnosed conditions.

Gold: Cognitive and intellectual disabilities. Neurodivergence.

Red: Physical disabilities.

Never Mind

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this first Wednesday of July? I’m annoyed as feck for two reasons. One I won’t talk about yet, because it’s an ongoing thing and I don’t want anyone involved to stumble upon a rant about it. Yet. The other thing is Medicaid bullshit, but it’s late (after 10pm because we also had visitors), so I’m not even going to write the rant I was planning. I’ve spent far too much time on the phone the last few days because no one knows anything. Tomorrow (today), will be another wasted day. So, I’m going to go eat and spend the next hour or so watching TV.

Thoughts on THE MASK OF MERRYVALE MANOR

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Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are still annoying, but I won’t complain. Yet. Maybe next week. Or maybe things will be better next week. Who knows? Anyway, it’s the last Wednesday of June, so you know what that means. Book review time! This month, I decided to go with a standard mystery with historical and horror-adjacent (not quite horror, but close) elements. The Mask of Merryvale Manor by Pete Sherlock was released on some platforms on the 20th and others on the 25th (which isn’t confusing at all, ugh) by Fairlight Books. As usual, I must thank them and NetGalley for access to an ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Let’s get to it!

The Mask of Merryvale Manor follows Ben, a 14-year-old boy who moves in with his rich aunt’s family after his mother dies. At first, he’s seduced by a life of opulence. He’d do anything to fit in. To be accepted. But a few years later, he returns home from university for his cousin’s wedding and finds remains in the lake that’s on the family property. That’s when he really starts to see the family for who they are. In the end, he must decide if fitting in is worth throwing his morals away.

Plotwise, it’s your standard English murder mystery. If you’ve ever watched Midsomer Murders, you can pretty easily guess where this one is going. There’s only one person the remains could be, so the “figuring out who the victim is” part felt a bit drawn out. I also pegged the killer right off the bat, but it was still an interesting journey to uncover them. There was also a weird fixation on the Ooser mask (it has to do with the region’s folklore) that I enjoyed. Nothing super exciting, but a satisfying plot nonetheless.

According to Historic UK, this is the last remaining Dorset Ooser mask and shortly after this photograph was taken in the late 19th century the mask disappeared.

The characters were interesting, if mostly unlikable. But that’s really the point. As an outside observer, the reader can see how repugnant these people are which ups the pity we feel for Ben as he struggles to fit in with them. Not all of them are evil, some are just so self-absorbed that they fail to see what’s happening around them. I found the book more interesting as a study of human behavior than I did as an actual mystery.

Ben to his family throughout this book.

As far as the writing goes, I enjoyed it. There was an old timey feel to it that lent itself well to late ’50s/early ’60s setting. It created a nice atmosphere.

Ultimately, I appreciated The Mask of Merryvale Manor for what it is. It’s not wonderful or groundbreaking or anything, but it’s a perfectly adequate mystery.

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Overall, I gave it 3 out of 5 stars. It didn’t wow me, but it didn’t disappoint me either. If you enjoy mysteries, especially ones like Midsomer Murders, you’ll probably enjoy this one. It’s worth picking up.

Impromptu Day Off

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone this lovely Wednesday? I’m completely lost on what to blog about, so instead of forcing something again, I’m going to go do other things. I’m currently looking for a grill mat or hearth rug or something to keep the ashes from the smoker off the porch rug. Dad built a stand for the Kamado Joe and is cleaning up the back yard (not that we have a yard, it’s all deck and pond and gardens). So, I’ll be back next week with a book review. In the meantime, have a picture of the smoker on it’s new stand!

Mindless Games as Productivity Tools Follow Up

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this wonderful Wednesday? Things here are about the same as they’ve been. Not great, but it could be worse. I’m getting a late start on this post because I had a meeting with my case manager and another team member about the government crap. Ugh. But anyway, that just means I’m tired and not really into blogging today, so this will be short. Yay! I suppose I’ll ramble about the fact that I wrote words on Monday! Only about 400, but I did the thing. I also did it while playing my mindless games. A few posts ago, I mentioned that the mindless games have actually helped with my reading productivity, so I thought I would try it with writing. Does it work?

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure yet. It took a long time for me to actually bring myself to start writing because I started a new short story, so the page was blank. Well, not technically blank. I always throw in the header with my contact info and word count like it’s ready to submit, plus a throwaway title and my byline. Sometimes, that’s enough to trick my brain into thinking the story is already in progress. But most of the time, I suffer from blank page paralysis. That first sentence is just so much pressure. And it doesn’t help that I’m the type who has to start at the beginning. I can’t just jump to a random scene then go back and fill stuff in. That’s just not how my brain works.

But once I got started, the system seemed to work. I’d set up a battle, write while it played out, then eventually set up another battle, and somehow at the end of the night, I had 400 words. I even stopped to eat dinner and watch some tv, then started up again with no problem. That’s super rare for me. I usually just cram in the words and when it’s dinner time, it all gets shut down and stowed away for another day. So, even though it’s only been one day, I’m kind of hopeful for this system. I even got my reading done that day. We’ll see if I can keep it up. Any words are better than none, so I’m trying not to focus on a specific word count yet. I’ll add that in later if this system keeps working.

What kind of stuff helps you write when you just aren’t feeling it? As always, feel free to share your thoughts and comments and questions here or on my social media pages!

Soggy Days and Reading

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this wonderful Wednesday? I feel like I’ve been complaining a lot this year, which means I have been. I’m sorry. It just seems like one of those years where everything goes wrong. The government is annoying. Stuff isn’t getting done in a timely manner. The weather is insane. It’s June. We’re not supposed to be having flash flood warnings every day. We’re supposed to be staring triple digits in the face and wondering what the people complaining about the heat are going to do when summer gets here. The ground is saturated and the lakes are full. The rain can stop now. But we have been extremely lucky so far. I won’t say how because that will jinx it, but yes. Very lucky in general. So, I’m going to try to stop complaining and ramble about good things. I’ve finished reading 17 books this year, so I thought I would share some of the better ones with you.

1. White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton. I was a little skeptical at first because my minion recommended it and he’s weird. But it’s gay urban fantasy with a tentacle monster, so I had to see for myself. I know what you’re thinking. “I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going!” Alas, no. But! It’s a fun read and I just bought the other two books in the series.

2. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. I read this one for one of those Kindle challenges. It was honestly kind of a weird read. A lot of the prose was lyrical and beautiful, but much of it was stark and blunt. It was kind of jarring, but I liked it. It fit the story.

3. Otherworldly by F.T. Lukens. It’s fun and fluffy. I don’t remember much beyond that. It was super enjoyable while I was reading it, though.

What books have you enjoyed this year? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions or comments here or on my social media pages!

Thoughts on THE RIDE OF HER LIFE

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are fine. Some high winds knocked a couple of limbs off one of our trees, but otherwise things are okay. But enough of that. It’s the last Wednesday of May, so it’s book review time! Somehow, I ended up with a lesbian romance that promised a grumpy/sunshine trope. That’s probably how it lured me in. Anyway, The Ride of her Life by Jennifer Dugan was released yesterday (the 28th) from Avon Books (an imprint of HarperCollins). As usual, I must thank them and NetGalley for access to an ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Let’s do the thing.

The Ride of her Life follows Molly whose life is stagnating. She works two jobs in an attempt to stave off crippling student loan debt, but neither of those jobs include event planning (what she actually went to school for), and she’s low-key miserable. When her estranged aunt leaves her a horse farm, Molly is all set to sell the place and start up her own business. Until she falls for the farrier who lives on the property. The farrier hates her, but when has that ever stopped love. Between non-stop misunderstandings and a mountain of debt, things seem impossible, but can everything work out?

It’s a romcom. The plot demands everything work out. That’s literally the only reason Molly and Shani get together. There are far too many forced misunderstandings that make them either the biggest idiots ever or prove they’re deliberately dense. It’s kind of like the author was told to never let the tension die and they took that advice to heart. But not all tension needs to be negative. Romantic tension is a thing that should be in this book, but it’s not really. The plot was very much a series of overused tropes with no twists. It all felt super forced and far too dramatic and ridiculously cookie-cutter. It doesn’t feel like something that would actually happen.

It doesn’t help that 99% of the characters are completely unlikable. Only Lochlin was remotely pleasant and he’s still a dipshit. Maybe I’m just bitter because I was promised grumpy/sunshine, but all I got was two whiny little children who could’ve sat down and had an honest conversation and been in a much better place. The mother came off as greedy and manipulative and all around gross. The bestie acted high and mighty, but she was unsupportive and also manipulative. Everyone in this book was basically a giant red flag. It was annoying. Also, it took them far too long to realize that a farm with barns and a couple of houses and riding trails and space for… I don’t know… events, would make a great event space for a new event planner! It was literally my first thought when she was left everything. Ugh.

As far as the writing goes, it was fine, but it felt like an ad for Taylor Swift. I’m not particularly into books that date themselves like that, but a lot of people are.

Ultimately, I was not a fan of The Ride of her Life. The false advertisement of grumpy/sunshine means I won’t grab another book by this author either.

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Overall, I gave it 2 out of 5 stars. Okay, one and a half. It was written and got published. That much work deserves that many stars. But, personally, I don’t recommend it. There are too many better romcoms to read out there.

Mindless Games as Productivity Tools

~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this wonderful Wednesday? Things are still not sorted out here because the government is so very slow, so I’m not in a good mood, but I don’t want to rant. Instead, I’m going to ramble about one of the mindless games I play. Namely, Hero Wars. Ever since I started playing it, I’ve noticed a major increase in my reading productivity. I’ve been finishing reading the review books up to two weeks early (like next week’s book, I finished on the 13th instead of the 25th like planned) and not because they’re fabulous books as you know. It’s weird and sounds like a lie, but hear me out…

Hero Wars is one of those games where there’s like 50 things to do every day on top of the actual game and leveling up characters. A lot of these things are done with the auto setting permanently engaged, so you’re forced to stare at a bunch of characters battle for two minutes without actually doing anything. You can also turn on auto on the regular parts of the game which is useful when you’re just trying to collect items to level up your characters and are therefore playing the same level over and over again. It honestly gets boring, but I enjoy it nonetheless.

When I was about to give up one day because I had to read, I decided to just let the fight play out while I read. Then, after a few paragraphs, I went back to the game, set up the next battle, then read for a few more minutes. And I just kept flipping back and forth between the two which meant I never had enough time to get bored with either. I limit myself to only doing this with books I’m going to review, because doing two “for fun” things at once just seems like cheating. But it’s weirdly effective. I don’t dread my daily reading anymore. I can read as much as I want, then get a thirty second break to do something fun when I start to get bored with the book. It’s like a tiny serotonin bomb that makes the next few paragraphs or pages feel less like a chore (even when I really enjoy a book, reading can be difficult to focus on). So weird.

I’m starting to wonder what else I could apply this to. Maybe writing. I’ve only tried it while blogging a couple of times. It’s not quite the same. With the blog, I’m usually feeling pressured to get it done since I’ve waited until the last minute, so tiny serotonin bombs don’t really help. But perhaps with regular writing, it would be more helpful. I think I’ll try it.

What are some weird things that help you become more productive in certain areas? Are they limited to specific things, like helping with reading or writing? As always, feel free to share your comments or thoughts or questions here or on my social media pages!