A Month of Giving Thanks (Part Two)

Hello again!  It’s already been a week since my last post?  I suppose time flies when you’re having fun.  Or maybe it’s just because I’m getting older.  I swear I don’t remember the days going by so fast when I was a kid.  Anyway, enough rambling.  A new week means another chance to share more things I’m grateful for!  As I said last time, feel free to join me.

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“A Break in Reality” by Xetobyte

1. The Stonecoast MFA in Creative Writing.  If you’ve perused previous posts, you’ve probably noticed my affection for this program.  I mean, come on.  It’s the first academic setting where I actually felt like I belonged instead of it simply being a stepping stone to my next life goal.  Of course I’m thankful for it and all of the people associated with it.  I highly suggest applying if you’re a writer.

2. Pretty Asian males.  If you know me at all, you knew this was coming sooner or later!  I’m entirely comfortable admitting that I like eye candy, preferably Japanese and in a dress (but not always in one).  If you don’t like it, that’s fine.  Most of the males I stalk are musicians, so they are also ear candy.  A couple of samples:

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Hizaki (Jupiter) and Kaya (Femme Fatale)!
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Hiro (Nocturnal Bloodlust) and Sono (Matenrou Opera)!

3. Music in general.  If there’s one thing in life that has kept me (relatively) sane, it’s music.  Yeah, as a kid, I went with the flow (aka listened to the things my friends were listening to), but I eventually came into my own.  I still remember flipping through radio stations once when I was bored and coming across Zip-Lock by Lit.  That was the beginning of my punk days.  The first time I broke away from what everyone else in my world was listening to.  It was so freeing.  My tastes have fluctuated a lot since then, so I now listen to an eclectic selection.  It keeps me going, so who cares what everyone else is doing?

4. Technology.  Without it, I’d not only be confined to one spot all the time, I’d also probably be dead.  When you require help for something as simple as breathing, you learn to appreciate the machines that help you out.  Wheelchairs, ventilators, patient lifts, and all of that delightful stuff is what I’m talking about.  Sure, TVs and cars and radios and all that are fan-freaking-tastic, but right now I mean all of the stuff that helps to make life more or less normal for folks like me.

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We’ve come a long way.

5. Stuffed animals.  I know it’s weird for a nearly 30-year-old to admit her love of plushies, but I adore them.  They’re soft and cuddly and cute.  Their beady eyes are next-level creepy, like they’re staring into your soul and getting ready to eat it.  You should know by now that I’m strange.  Don’t act so surprised.  But yes, stuffed animals rock!

I think that’s all for today.  See you next week!

A Month of Giving Thanks (Part One)

Hi there!  So, it’s November!  That means we’re coming up on my favorite holiday (and no, I don’t mean Christmas).  Yup, it’s almost time for Thanksgiving!  Because of this, while everyone else is getting all excited about Santa and elves on shelves and all of that wonderful stuff, I have decided to dedicate my posts this month to what this part of the season is really about: giving thanks.  Each week, I will list five things I’m thankful for.  Feel free to join in!

November

What am I thankful for?

1. Family, of course.  This includes Dads and Minions and the like.  I was raised in a way that let me realize early on that family isn’t about blood and biology, it’s about the people who love you for who you are regardless of what you can do for them.  They are the people who stick around (whether they live close by or just keep in touch) and let you know they think of you.  So, for my family who’s reading this, I appreciate everything you do.  I love you.  And that’s enough sap for a long, long time.  Never speak of this again.

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Dad!
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Minion!

2.Friends.  My creepy kindred spirits.  Whether we’ve known each other for 10+ years online or for less than a handful of years in real life or anything in between makes no difference to me.  You guys (and gals) are pure awesome covered in awesome sauce with a cherry on top.  And now, back to our regularly scheduled creepiness, please.

3. The Interwebz.  Aside from the fact that most of my friends live in there somewhere, it just makes life easier.  I don’t know how many stupid (or disturbing) questions I’ve found the answers to in order to make my stories more accurate.  The NSA might have me on a watchlist somewhere, but at least I know the correct procedure for performing an enucleation (and that’s not even close to the weirdest thing I’ve looked up).  Plus, I can stalk people.  Take that how you want.

4. Spiked coffee.  Whoever originally accidentally spilled booze in their coffee (or vice versa) and decided it was a good thing, you are wonderful!  And each person who has experimented with different combinations ever since is kind of great in their own right.  Then you have the genius who added whipped cream (you rock).  Don’t ask me why (because I really don’t know), but I love the stuff.  Disclaimer: I swear I’m not a lush.

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Yes, please!

5. The fact that I can block posts on Facebook from all of the people who started posting nothing but Christmas stuff at 12:01 AM on November 1st and they will never know.  Not that I would ever do that.  But, if you don’t hear from me until December… well, yeah.  Sorry, not sorry.

I think that’s enough for this week, don’t you?  I’ll be back next week with another five things I’m thankful for!  What are you thankful for this year?  Comment here or Facebook or Twitter or G+

On Being an Inspiration (Without Being a Douchenozzle)

Hi everyone!  It’s that time of year again, I guess.  That time when I see a bunch of articles and blog posts floating around about how the people who call cripples “inspirational” are basically ableist asshats.  It seems to come in cycles, usually popping up around the holiday season when people are more likely to try to spread the love (it’s actually starting a little early this year).  Anyway, I feel like I’ve mentioned this before, but it needs repeating: they aren’t the asshats in this scenario, you are.

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Ain’t it cute?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand what most of these posts are trying to say, and I even kind of agree with the most basic message they’re attempting to convey.  I know I’m not actually inspirational, that I’m just doing what everyone else is doing (also known as living my life the only way I know how).  Yeah, I totally agree with that sentiment.  My problem with these rants about not being inspirational is that these people are being rude to people who are only being nice.  That is what I can’t get behind, so to speak.

Imagine (or if you’re a cripple/physically different in any way, you’ve probably lived it):  you’re at a restaurant and some happy-go-lucky cheerleader type comes up to you and says “OMG!  I just had to tell you that I think you are so beautiful.  It’s such an inspiration to see you out and about.  I don’t think I’d even be able to get out of bed if I were in your position.”  Now, keep in mind that this is the fourth time you’ve heard something like that this week and no one could keep track of how often you’ve heard it in your *insert age here* years on the planet.

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Sakura! But yeah, you all know the type.

What she literally meant:  “You’re an awesome person!”

What your jaded ears heard:  “You’re so disgusting.  How can you even leave the house, let alone your room?”

There are a number of ways you can respond in a situation like this.  For example, you can simply say thank you (my go-to response).  This usually results in a smile, possibly some small-talk, and a polite parting of the ways.  If you’re feeling particularly argumentative, you could respond with “Thank you.  I’m really nothing special, but you’re sweet.”  This could backfire into the lady listing the ways you are special, but at least you were nice about it!  Or you could let your cynicism reign and tear down someone who was only trying to let you know she thought you were cool, which makes you a douchenozzle.

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As these conversations always are.

What I’m getting at is that it’s nobody else’s fault that you’ve grown so cynical that you can’t take someone’s kind words at face value.  No, they aren’t being ableist and they aren’t making fun of you, they’re being nice.  Believe me, I’ve been in enough of these conversations to know that people don’t think that much when they speak.  It’s a unique experience for them, so their words simply mean what they mean, there’s nothing hidden underneath.  You only think there’s negativity in the words because you’ve had years to analyze a plethora of these conversations.  Stop overthinking it.  Nice people do exist.

Mood Music

Hey all!  What kind of sounds do you enjoy in your creative environments?  It’s a weird question, I know, but it’s an interesting one.  A lot of people I’ve talked to about this can’t work in noisy places.  They go so far as to carry around those noise-cancelling headphones if they decide to write outside of their usual area.  It’s a neat idea, since it’s not only dampening noise, but also giving people a visual sign that you don’t want to be bothered.  However, I couldn’t do that.  I like to work when there’re sounds all around (preferably music).  So, I thought I’d share some of the music I write by.

Music

Honestly, I don’t really have much in the way of criteria when it comes to the music I listen to while writing.  I basically just hit shuffle on my iTunes and I’m ready to go.  I usually try to start with a song in a language I don’t speak much of, because it’s easier to not get distracted when you can’t sing along.  Any language will do, really, but I’m partial to Japanese.  Though my music ranges from English to Japanese to German to Spanish to French to Thai to… well, you get the idea.

Buck-Tick is one of my go-tos for writing.

Anyway, on the rare occasion that I do more than hit shuffle, I’m usually looking for a song that sets a certain mood.  Take the song above, if I’m looking to write something epic (like fantasy epic, not epic for the sake of epic), that would be on the list.  My writing tends to lean more towards horror a lot of the time, so you can bet I have a ton of rage music.  Dir en grey, Rammstein, basically all your screamers and growlers go on the rage list.  Then there’s the happy rage (see below, but beware of foul language) which is really helpful when writing certain characters.  You know the ones I mean.  We all have them.

I suppose I have to admit that I also have a number of sappy songs.  I blame a certain male I used to know for that.  These are the types of songs I never used to own.  Ah well.  I suppose we all need a reason for a little sap.  Admittedly, it’s actually helpful to have musicians like James Blunt and Lifehouse and others in my collection.  I find more and more romance seeping into my writing, so it’s good to have that kind of playlist.  Plus, you know, the music is really good.

So yeah, my writing music spans pretty much everything.  Also, it runs the gamut of the years.  I mostly mentioned 90’s and later here, but I have classical and oldies and everything in between.

As I was asking in the beginning, are you more of a quiet worker or noisy?  What kind of noise?  Nature or music?  What kind of music?  I’m curious to know how my method differs from yours, so drop me a line on here or Facebook or Twitter or Google+!

Growing Up Cripple: Halloween Edition

Hi all!  I had no idea what to talk about today, so I was chatting with a friend when she asked what my first Halloween costume was.  Honestly, I have no idea what my first one was, but I have had some pretty cool ones since then!  Thus, since it’s October, today I will ramble a little about costumes/Halloween and how the whole crippleness thing plays into that (or doesn’t).

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How about both?

Personally, I love the idea of dressing up as someone you’re not and getting to be a superhero or a ghoul or whatever for a little while.  I always have.  It’s fun.  And it’s probably the reason why I like cosplayers so much.  What’s not to love?  Plus, on Halloween, free candy is involved!

Some people might wonder how Halloween is different for people in wheelchairs.  Does the chair affect the costume choice?  Does it inhibit where you do your trick or treating?  What about haunted houses?  For me, the general reply is that it doesn’t make much of a difference to me.  Depending on what I wanted to be any particular year, I chose whether or not to include the chair in the costume.  Yeah, I couldn’t get up some driveways, but that’s what siblings and friends are for (someone to lug your bag of loot up to the door and point you out so you get candy regardless).  I’ve never been a fan of haunted houses, but you can usually find accessible ones if you look hard enough.  It’s all about what the cripple person is willing to try.

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Sister, Mom, and I.

My favorite part of Halloween was always the costumes (though the candy was a definite close second).  When I was really little (like five and under), I could walk holding onto things and I could be carried, so for the first few years, a chair didn’t play too much of a role in choosing what to dress up as.  In fact, even once I was wheelchair bound, it took me a while to realize the chair could be part of the costume!  I honestly don’t recall many of the non-chair outfits aside from the tiger above (I was freakin’ adorable once upon a time) and being the pink Power Ranger (yes, I was one of those children).

Once I started wanting to include the chair in my costumes, things got a little weird.  I remember being a zombie truck driver one year (before zombies were cool) and having the cab of an eighteen wheeler built around my chair.  I don’t have any pictures of that one.  Another year, I was a hippie in a VW Bug (seen below).  I’m sure I was a lot of other great stuff, but I can’t remember what.

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Hippie, not hipster.

Anyway, being cripple doesn’t have to make something like Halloween difficult.  Especially if you’re surrounded by creative people, which both of my parents were.  Mom was the artist and Dad is the craftsman.  Hell, even to this day, I plot out costumes and different things the chair could be!  The only reason I don’t pester Dad with the technical parts is because I don’t know any seamstresses to help me with the outfit parts.  I’m sorry, a steampunk chair needs a matching outfit or there’s no point to it.

So, what are you doing for Halloween?

A Look Inside Real Mexican Tacos

Hi all!  I know I’ve been slacking on the food review front, so I thought I’d get back to that this week.  A few months ago (July, I believe), a taco place opened up down the road from us (Dad and I).  No, not like Taco Bell tacos, more like Mexican street tacos.  Actually, the place is called Real Mexican Tacos.  For those of you familiar with Mesquite, it’s on E. Davis where the old Red Lantern used to be.  Everyone else can get the address from their Facebook page (linked above).

So, here’s a reminder of the rating system:

MMMMM = Everything is magnificent!
MMMM = Great, but something is off.
MMM = Pretty good, but a couple of things could be better.
MM = The bad’s starting to outweigh the good.
M = Definitely more cons than pros.
… = I couldn’t find anything nice to say.

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Please excuse the dull phone colors. The sign is really quite bright.

First up is accessibility.  It’s in a strip mall with ramps dotted up and down the sidewalk.  The nearest ramp is two doors down, so that’s normal.  Otherwise, the doorway is wide and clear (one door with no twists or turns to finagle my way around to get inside).  The tables are great.  They’re a nice height and don’t have anything that really gets in the way of footrests and all that.  They’re also spread out so it’s not a tight squeeze to get around in the restaurant.  That’s always a “Yay!”

Service… I have no real complaints.  A lot of the staff only speak Spanish, so it can sometimes make for confusion (especially since our Spanish is very limited), but everyone is super nice.  Dad and I have been in a few times and I’m pretty sure we’ve had the same waitress each time (she speaks English).  I think she might have been a little unsure about me at first, but it didn’t stop her from treating me like a person (bonus points!).  Everyone is really helpful when it comes to explaining the different menu items and answering questions.  So yeah, the service is great.

Now, the part everyone really wants to know about: the food!

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I opted for the enchilada plate last time. Dad had tacos and a quesadilla.

Real Mexican Tacos has a couple of “plate” options (combos that come with rice and beans), but it’s mostly pick and choose stuff (single items that you can mix and match as you please).  This last visit, I went with the chicken enchilada plate.  They have both salsa verde and crema on them.  It was actually frickin’ delicious.  The tortillas weren’t mush like most enchiladas you get around here, so there was a really nice mixture of textures to go along with the flavors.  Definitely recommend them if you don’t feel like tacos.  Dad had a trompo taco (super yum!), a barbacoa taco (good), and a lengua quesadilla (lengua is a personal favorite of mine in quesadillas or tacos or anything really).  They also have sopas and tortas and some other things every day, as well as specials (cabrito tacos, menudo, etc.) on the weekends.

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Strawberry cheesecake.

Honestly, this last visit was the first time we’ve been that they had dessert.  They’re still really new, so the menu is still growing and changing and that’s perfectly okay with me.  The cheesecake was really good (probably bought at Sam’s Club, but as long as it’s good, who cares?).  We’ll see if there’s anything new next time!

Last, but certainly not least, let’s talk price.  It’s fabulous.  When Dad and I can leave full and content for less than $30, the price is ah-maze-ing.  It’s definitely worth giving the place a try!

My overall rating:
MMMM (a potential MMMMM once they get a little more settled)

See you next week!

An Art & Words Show

Hi all!  This past Saturday (Sept. 26th), my dad and I ventured out to Fort Worth to attend the opening of Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam’s Art & Words Show.  It was the fourth annual show and the third year that I have attended, so I decided that I wanted to share my experience with all of you.

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Bonnie reading for one of the authors who couldn’t be there.

I met Bonnie at Stonecoast.  She graduated in July 2013, so we didn’t have much time to get to know each other very well, but she was the first fellow Texan I found in the program.  When I learned about her Art & Words Show, I had to check it out.  What is an Art & Words Show, you ask?  Well, Bonnie takes submissions from both writers and visual artists (submissions usually open around March if you’re interested), then she chooses roughly 10 written pieces and an equal number of artworks.  At that point, there’s a selection process where the writers choose a piece of art and the artists choose a story or poem, which they then have to interpret (authors write a story/poem based on the art and vice versa for the artists).

Where is the show held, you might be wondering.  It’s held at Art on the Boulevard in Fort Worth on Camp Bowie Blvd (check the website for the full address).  The show runs for about a week, so if you’re in the area and have some free time between now and Saturday (Oct. 3rd), check it out!

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Borrowed from their Facebook page.

As someone who loves ekphrastic writing, this whole project intrigued me from the beginning.  I haven’t had a piece featured yet, but I have submitted in the past and plan to submit next year.  It’s like any other project writers submit to, there’s a good chance of rejection, but you have to try.  I actually didn’t have anything to submit this past year, so I volunteered to work behind the scenes (yes, I was a slush reader).  It actually gave me a little perspective on the whole rejection thing.  Narrowing down the submissions (most of which were really good), not to mention picking just 10, is quite a task.  If you ever get the chance to be a slush reader for anything, do it.  It gives you a new appreciation for rejection.

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Sean R. Robinson reading.
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Karen Bovenmyer reading.

Anyway, on opening night, Bonnie holds a small reception where she invites the writers to read.  A lot of the local artists tend to show up as well.  It’s a lovely experience.  My only complaint is the lack of accessibility (there are no curb cuts or ramps near the place and there are steps between the nearest ramp and the shop), which I fully blame the city of Fort Worth for.  For a place that’s commonly on top 10 lists for accommodations and accessibility, I expected more.  Step up your game, Fort Worth!  Aside from my issues with the location, the show itself is wonderful and I fully encourage both writers and visual artists to submit next year.

Until next time (which will finally be a food review)!

Yes, You Wrote It and Yes, It’s Okay To Like It

Howdy, howdy!  After a nice rest, I’ve been digging into the second novel attempt (it doesn’t have a title yet).  I’m currently just reading through it to get back into the voice and to figure out where I left off, but something strange has been happening during this process: I actually really like this story.  Like, I’d be willing to buy it if I came across it in a bookstore kind of like.  It’s weird.  Personally, I’m the type of person who usually hates everything she writes, so this is a scary concept for me.  I know I’m not alone in hating everything I write, so I thought I’d share a little about why I think I’m that way and what this experience has taught me thus far.

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Yeah, that kind of “like.”

First off, for anyone who thinks their words suck, you will be asked (repeatedly) why you keep working on something you feel so bad about.  You are not alone.  Most people don’t understand the usefulness of self-loathing.  For me, I think it’s mostly just a defense mechanism.  If I tell myself that story I just submitted sucks, then the inevitable rejection won’t hurt so much.  And yes, while a story is in the limbo of a slush pile, rejection is considered inevitable.  Maybe I’m a pessimist.  Anyway, it’s not that I actually hate my work, it’s just that if someone else ends up hating it, it doesn’t hurt as bad if I can say “yeah, I know it sucks.”

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It doesn’t suck, it just sucks.

So, what happens when self-haters can’t help but admit what they’re working on is good?  Lots of mixed emotions, that’s what.  There’s denial: “I didn’t write that.”  “There’s no way my thoughts are that organized.”  Then there’s the fanciful rationalizations: “The writing fairies got ahold of it while I wasn’t looking and changed everything.”  (Yes, they exist.  We’ve all opened our manuscripts to find things we know we couldn’t or wouldn’t have written.  It’s usually just a word or phrase, nothing too obvious.)  And finally, there’s acceptance.  That “Holy crap, I wrote this…” moment.  And you know what?  It’s okay to feel that way.

I’m still at the point in this novel where I don’t have to share it with anyone.  Where all that matters is what I think.  So, I’m allowing myself to indulge in that rare book-narcissism that I see others constantly immersed in.  Why not wrap myself in the warm fuzzy feeling of liking something I did all by myself?   The book’s not even a third of the way finished.  There will be plenty of time for hatred and disgust later, right?

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In other words, even if every fiber of your self-loathing writerly being says to resist, know that it’s okay to like your words.  Hell, some people would go so far as to say it’s a natural feeling!  Not me, of course, but others.  You can worry about all of the potential rejection later.  Right now, accept the warm fuzzies!  Accept them!  That’s right… just let it happen.

Achievement Unlocked!

Hello, hello!  So, as of Saturday (09/12), I finished a round of major revisions on Garnets and Guardians.  Huzzah!  What did I do to celebrate, you ask?  Well, I got a flu shot; a round of antibiotics for something completely unrelated, but blah inducing; and decided to take a few days off before working on another novel while this one is away with a trusty reader.  Yeah, I’m not an exciting person.

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I had to for the flu shot.

Since this is one of my days off, this post is going to be short, so I can get back to laziness.  I just wanted to share my achievements with anyone who might be interested (a girl’s got to brag some times).  I posted once before about how rewards are necessary, and wanted to let you know that I’m following my own advice.  My lazy days have been filled with:

1. Music.  I’ve been kind of obsessed with James Blunt recently (don’t ask), but also getting back into stalking some J-rock bands.

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Bonus points if you know who this man is!

2. Crossword puzzles.  You can blame Dad for that.  I usually do Mondays-Wednesdays of the syndicated NYTs puzzle, and I attempt Thursdays, but I’m behind on those.

3. Watching Charmed reruns on Netflix and catching up on Sailor Moon Crystal (no, I still haven’t finished).  P.S. I’m pretty sure all of your current favorite sci-fi/fantasy actors had bit parts in Charmed.  So many familiar faces. 

Misha Collins to Pheobe: “You must be an angel.” (Or something close to that.) 

Me: “No, you are.”

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Anyway, I’m going back to vegging.  Next week, I will return with something more interesting to ramble about!  Until then.

The Writer’s Struggle: Cultural Appropriation

Hi all!  Today, I want to talk about something that is a really touchy subject for a lot of people: cultural appropriation.  It’s something I’ve seen tossed around a lot lately, and most of the time, I wonder if the people throwing that phrase around actually understand what it implies or if they’re just looking for something to rant about.  Honestly, it usually seems like the latter.

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It’s something that’s seeping into every aspect of life.  It’s gotten to the point where people are afraid to study other cultures because some lunatic might come up screaming “cultural appropriation” at them when really, they’re trying to learn how not to appropriate things.  People are afraid to cosplay characters outside of their race and gender because of the same reason.  It’s ridiculous.  As long as the cosplayer isn’t doing anything derogatory, what’s wrong with an African American Elsa or an Hispanic Tiana or a white Mulan?  There’s nothing wrong with showing your love for a character by cosplaying as them.  And that’s what cosplay is about, love and appreciation of a character, not taking something that doesn’t belong to you.

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For a writer, cultural appropriation is a terrifying thing.  We’re constantly told to write diverse characters, especially when it comes to popular fiction.  That’s like rule number one in writing.  However, I’ve seen a huge increase in authors (mainly white authors) getting called out and put down for writing outside of their own cultures, no matter how well they did their research and how respectful they were.  Basically, it seems like we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Personally, I tend to blend cultures in my longer stories (I’m from the U.S., aka the melting pot, so why wouldn’t I write that way?).  I’m constantly worried someone’s going to accuse me of cultural appropriation, but you know what?  I’m not going to whitewash my stories simply because some overzealous crusaders think a white chick from Texas shouldn’t incorporate Japanese culture, Greek mythology, and all of the other elements included in my stories in her work.  I like a colorful world that expands beyond my own horizons.  Sorry, not sorry.

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I do, however, follow a few rules when writing that I hope will deter the cultural appropriation shriekers if/when I get published.

1. I do my research!  Granted, I use a lot of mythology and, when there’s not a lot to go on, I tweak certain stories to fit my books, but I’m never disrespectful about it.  I know I’ll catch flak from some people for it, but I’m prepared for that.

2. I don’t rely on stereotypes when creating my characters and worlds.  Most stereotypes are quite insulting, a personification of the worst aspects of a person.  If something fits the character, I’ll use it, but it will be tempered by other aspects of human nature to create a fully fleshed out person.  At least that’s my goal.

3. The one don’t on my list is “don’t be a dick.”  I never use anything with the intention of making fun of or insulting a culture.  Research and not relying on stereotypes really helps with that.  Don’t get me wrong, my characters can be incredibly rude to each other, but there’s always a purpose for it in the stories.  It’s never an attack on any culture.

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So, to sum up…  Go learn about that culture you’re interested in (and all of the others)!  Go cosplay as that character you adore!  Go write all the things!  Just don’t be a jerk about it.