Hello, hello! I didn’t really know what to write for today, so I asked around, and a friend suggested that I share some advice that I would give to a younger version of myself. I think she meant like one of those open letter posts. This isn’t really going to be that. I don’t even know if this is technically advice, but I thought I would share some words. I can guarantee that young me wouldn’t have listened to any of it, though.
I suppose the first thing I would say is that you’ll be okay. Life is fluid. It’s always changing and it will shape you, eroding certain things away while building up others. You will grow to be cynical and dark and quiet before you figure out that the world is generally good. You will learn early on that life isn’t fair. People will tell you that you can do anything. A staircase to a second floor with no elevator will prove them wrong. Most of the time, you’ll find a way around the obstacles presented to you or you’ll move on to something else. You’ll take these experiences and find your reality within them. You’ll find yourself.
A lot of the time, you won’t like who or what you are. You won’t be able to change the things you want to, so you’ll accept them. A morbid sense of humor will help with that. At some point, you’ll even realize that a lot of the things you don’t like about yourself aren’t as bad as certain people make them out to be. You do have feelings. Your capacity for love and caring is greater than most people will ever know. They will tell you differently. You’ll even believe their words for a while. But that will pass. You’ll never be the kind of affectionate and sentimental person they wanted you to be, but that’s okay. That’s not you.
People will come and go as well. The toxic people who drag you into the darkness won’t always be there. Sometimes life will take them away and sometimes you’ll decide you’ve had enough. Yes, you’ll be strong enough to tell people to go. Even people you love will leave. It’ll hurt, but you’ll be okay.
You will eventually surround yourself with people who have wildly different world views than you do. You will care about them even when you disagree with them. And most of the time, you’ll keep your opinions and beliefs to yourself so you can keep the calm. Occasionally, you’ll pose a question to stir up debates among your friends when you’re bored. Then, you’ll sit back and watch the chaos until you get bored again. Mostly, though, you’ll try to keep things peaceful.
Like I said, you’ll be okay. You’ll be dark and cynical and quiet and loving and sarcastic and weird and so much more. But most of all, you’ll like who you are. You’ll still struggle with what you are on occasion, but everyone does. You’re not alone. Life, like the world, is generally pretty good. So, even when it seems like you’ll never be happy again, remember that the good will always come back around eventually.