Love Yourself

Happy Excuse For Chocolate Day

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  As I write this, it’s Valentine’s day.  I’m not going to go into some rant about how it’s all just some corporate holiday thought up by “Big Chocolate” and the greeting card companies, because it’s not (and even if it is, who cares?).  I think it’s nice to have a day set aside to celebrate love.  Yeah, we should express our love every other day of the year as well, I know, but there’s nothing wrong with going a little above and beyond one day if you want to.  By all means, send someone a candygram.  Give someone that gaudy pink heart card.  Have fun with it.  Or, if you’re like me, use the day as an excuse to eat more chocolate than usual and show yourself a little love (on a second read-through of this, I must say I wasn’t being perverted, but I can totally understand if that’s where your mind went).  So, for this week’s post, I think I’m going to give you a list of my top five favorite chocolates (in no particular order), then go watch Netflix on this love-filled day.

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Hope you had a wonderful day, whether you celebrated a special someone, yourself, or just another Tuesday!

1. Ghirardelli squares.  This one is a little unfair, because it’s a broad category.  I can’t pick just one flavor.  I’m the kind who likes to pick up a few different bags (read: who likes it when Dad surprises me with a few different bags) and mix things up a little bit.  Though, I will say that you can never go wrong with milk chocolate caramel or dark chocolate raspberry.

2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  I fully admit that I’m not usually into peanuts in my chocolate (whether it’s M&Ms or Snickers or whatever).  It’s just not my favorite combination in the world.  But I totally love peanut butter with chocolate.  I don’t know why.  It even extends into sundaes.  I don’t like crushed peanuts, but peanut butter sauce is amazing.  I’m just a weird person, I guess.

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Be more like chocolate.

3. Kit Kats.  Actually, I like pretty much anything that adds crispiness to chocolate.  This includes Crunch bars and Krackles.  But Kit Kats are still higher up on my list than those two.  Their crunch to chocolate ratio is the best.

4. 100 Grand Bar.  This particular candy bar takes my love of chocolate coated crunchies and adds caramel.  You can’t go wrong with caramel and chocolate.  Rolos and Caramellos prove that point, but 100 Grand Bars up the ante with the addition of crisped rice.  What’s not to love?

5.  A regular old Hershey’s milk chocolate bar.  Sometimes, you just want regular chocolate.  Sure, the fancy stuff is delicious and the other stuff is satisfying in its own way, but Hershey’s is the taste of childhood and nostalgia.  It’s a special kind of treat.  There’s nothing wrong with savoring a piece or two every now and then.

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Change wine to boozy coffee and it sounds like an awesome day.

So, even though this is a day late, I hope your Valentine’s day was filled with love!  What is your favorite chocolate?  Not a fan of chocolate?  What do you treat yourself with?  Leave a comment here or on my social media pages with a response.  I’m off to spend the evening watching Netflix and TV!

See you next week!

Productivity Is Overrated

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello!  I know I’ve probably posted about feeling unproductive and all of that before, but I can’t find a specific post, so that’s what you’re getting today.  I asked for some blog topic suggestions for today’s post and my friends did not disappoint.  One of them asked “What do you do when you feel unproductive?”  Honestly, it depends on whether or not I’m actually being unproductive.  Just because I feel that way, doesn’t mean that I’m not just being too hard on myself.  So, the first step is to evaluate what I’ve done that day (or week or month or whatever) to decide if I’m being my own worst critic.  Then, I go from there.

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I am quite good at procrastination.

 If it turns out I really am being unproductive for the week (I go by the week because we’re all allowed a day for goofing off here and there), I suck it up and write or edit something or do whatever it is that I need to do.  Sometimes, I have to accept that I’m going to be unproductive in my writing if I have to do extra adulting (doctor’s appointments, the dentist, meetings, etc.) or if I want to go out and have a life or something, but that’s just being productive in different ways.  I have to remember that productivity comes in many different forms.

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That’s how it usually goes.

If I have been productive, I allow myself the chance to take a day off (unless deadlines are involved, then I kill myself with work until I’m done).  If you’ve been working steadily and have kept up with your work, one day of doing nothing isn’t going to hurt you.  It might actually help.  It gives you a chance to breathe and come back to the project rested and ready to look at it in a new light.  Self-care is a very specific type of productivity that seems unproductive to everyone else, but we all do it and we all need it.  If you’re ashamed of taking a day off, call it a “self-care day” and that helps make it feel more like you’re doing something.

 Then again, if I’ve been doing my writing and editing and all of that, but slacking in other areas, I re-prioritize my time for the day.  I read (which I always put on the back burner, sometimes for months) or I adult or I devote time to checking in on friends (not as often as I should) or whatever I’ve been ignoring.  There’s always going to be something I fall behind on.  I have to accept that.

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And that’s when it’s time to start writing again.

 It’s really hard to find a balance where I almost always feel productive.  I’m always slacking on one front or another.  But since I’ve convinced myself that productivity comes in many forms, it’s a little easier (and a lot more complicated, if that makes sense) to know when I’m truly being unproductive.  I think productivity is more about learning to prioritize your time around the things that need to be done.  Sometimes, that will mean cutting back on writing in order to take care of yourself.  And that’s okay.  It’s always going to be a juggling act, and there will be times when you drop a ball or two.  Pick them back up and start again.  Eventually, you’ll learn which ones you can leave off to the side until you’re ready to swap something out with them.  The point is, you keep trying and learning and growing.  That’s the most important thing: keep going.

I’m Sexy and I Know It (Not Really)

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello again!  Apparently people like reading about the lives of cripples (who’da thunk it?).  My last post crushed all of my others by at least three times the views.  Thank you for that.  It’s kind of creepy, considering I’m not all that interesting, but yeah… thanks!  Since I’m still out of ideas for writerly topics and have no pictures of food to share, I thought I’d continue in the more personal vein to see if last week was some weird fluke.  Rather than focusing on general cripple life, I think I’ll talk about sexiness!

Over the past year or so, I’ve read quite a few articles about crippleness and everything from fashion to sex appeal (usually from male perspectives).  Pile that on top of a ton of negative commentary on how males objectify females (but never vice versa which is total crap), and it spawns many an eye-twitch inducing moment, but I always manage to keep my mouth shut.

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Pretty much.

You see, unlike most of the females I know (and a number of the males), I’ve never had to endure wolf whistles and cat calls and all of that creeptastic behavior.  Why?  Because (biologically speaking), I’m undesirable as a potential mate.  When straight males look at me, that primal part of their brains that focuses on reproduction isn’t activated.  I know that, and over the years, I’ve come to accept it.  But because of this lack of being lusted for (yeah, I went there), it grates on my nerves when I hear how horrible objectification is.  Don’t get me wrong, when it’s creepy and makes someone uncomfortable, it’s B-A-D bad, but a random “looking good” from across the way isn’t.  Being constantly overlooked or not considered mate-worthy isn’t as nice of a thing as many people imagine.  Keep that in mind the next time you’re so disgusted with the person who whistled at you from the other side of the street.

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On the flipside of growing up without being sexually objectified (yes, there are other kinds of objectification I’ve encountered), it has forced me to learn how to look at myself and acknowledge the sexy bish inside since no one else is going to do it.  It’s exceedingly rare for this to happen, but it does.  Also, it’s a fairly recent development, so it still weirds me out a little.  I mean, I constantly hear about how you have to learn to love yourself and how you shouldn’t need the validation of others (which is theoretically true), but I wonder if people realize how much easier said than done that is!  It’s taken me near thirty years to accomplish it, and it’s still something I can’t admit in the moment.  Only when I’m looking back can I say “Damn, I was sexy there!”

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In my Sixh top and the pants I designed.
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Why yes, that is a riding crop in my hand.

Self-perception is everything, but it’s fed by public-perception, so the next time you’re walking (or rolling) down the road, throw someone a whistle or a “looking sexy” or “cute top” or “great shoes” or something.  Then, you keep going so you don’t make it creepy.  Yeah, some people might accuse you of being a perv depending on your statement, but you never know whose day you might make a little brighter.