Rant

Cripple Life in Modern Times: Medicaid

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here were annoying this past week. The good: Dad’s colonoscopy was fine and we got food afterwards. In case you don’t know, you do NOT have to be sedated to get one, so don’t let that stop you. You have to be adamant about it and remind them every time they call and day of, but yeah. It’s fine. The bad: on Friday, I got a letter saying my Medicaid was rejected because I didn’t turn in my renewal paperwork. That was a blatant lie. I turned it in 5 days after I got the initial letter saying that I needed to do it. I later found out some stuff was missing, but all they said I needed to turn in was the signature page. I did that on the same day I got the letter telling me stuff was missing. Ugh. Anyway. I have nothing to blog about, so here are the details of the Medicaid clusterfuck if you’re interested.

October 17th: Got a letter canceling my Medicaid because they didn’t receive my renewal paperwork.
Uh, what? That is completely untrue. Here’s the original timeline:
July 12th: Received an email saying I have a letter in my YourTexasBenefits account. The letter informs me it’s time to renew my benefits and I have 30 days to do it.
July 17th: I submit the paperwork via my CLASS case manager who faxes it in.
August 4th: I haven’t heard anything, so I call to make sure my paperwork was received. I’m assured it was and told it could take 30 to 90 days for a response.
August 29th: Received a letter via snail mail saying that my paperwork wasn’t received and I had 5 days to submit any missing items. Called the same day (recorded every call from here on) and was told they just needed the signature page. Sent the page that day.
September 2nd: It was a holiday weekend, so this was the earliest I could call to confirm they received it. They did.
September 11th: Got an email saying that my paperwork wasn’t received. Called and was told everything was received and under review. All I could do was wait.
October 17th. Denied. Called and was initially told that my paperwork was not processed. After she spoke to her supervisor, I was suddenly at fault for not sending the signature page in within 5 days of the letter even though I sent it the day I received the letter.
October 20th: My CLASS caseworker came over and we called together. Got swapped around to three different people. One had to dig around to find my paperwork, the second swore it hadn’t been submitted in a timely manner until she actually looked at the dates, and the third one took one look and said I submitted everything when I was supposed to, so she reopened my case and input all my stuff, only asking me to verify that I only have one bank account. She approved it and said there shouldn’t be any gaps in my coverage.
October 21st: Received a letter via my YourTexasBenefits account with the approval letter.

I really don’t know why they have to make everything so difficult. Why can’t they assign a case worker to be on your renewal or application or whatever from the beginning of the process to the end? It doesn’t have to be the same person every year, but it would be so much easier than cold calling 2-1-1 and hoping you get in touch with someone who knows what they’re doing. It would also be better for them because they wouldn’t have to research every call they get and hope everyone else took notes. The way they handle Medicaid in Texas doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m good for another year (maybe, who knows with all the cuts the Nazis… oops, I meant Republicans… are trying to push through), so I’m going to stop thinking about it now.

Another Rant

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things here are annoying, but fine. It’s late on Tuesday because I spent too much time on the phone with Medicaid. Again. Then, I avoided productivity in favor of watching TV with Dad. Shame on me, I know. I’m mostly just having trouble mustering up energy to do anything. I wake up tired. I stay tired despite having my usual amounts of caffeine. Sleep has been normal (just meh). Everything is just meh. Anyway, since I don’t have anything to ramble about, I thought I’d go on a rant. Don’t worry. Next week is the book review, so it’ll be a regular post.

I don’t remember if I’ve talked about it here, but Medicaid decided to force me to sign up for something called Star+Plus back at the end of May. I looked into it and everything I read said I couldn’t be on that program because I’m also on a program called CLASS, plus I’m on Medicare. So, I asked my CLASS case manager and she assured me I could be on Star+Plus, but not on the waiver program version of it. I took her at her word and didn’t think much about it.

Fast forward to July 1st when the program is supposed to activate. Some stuff has occurred that has me questioning things, so I do another search about Star+Plus. I find one super hidden thing that says people on CLASS can be on the program, but everything else says I’m not eligible for it. Add on the fact that I try to activate an online account with the insurance company that handles Star+Plus and keep getting told that I don’t exist, and I start getting antsy. Being the paranoid person I am, I contact Medicaid multiple times over the next week and a half to ask what’s going on and why my account isn’t working and how come they tried to put me on this program when I’m already on this other program, etc. For days, I get passed around to different departments and told conflicting things until someone finally escalates my case.

I feel like a Karen when I have to deal with the government and I’m not sorry about it. I’m always polite, though.

When someone finally calls at 8:30 in the morning, I don’t answer. I call back and get swapped around a couple of times until someone can tell me the woman who called just wanted me to know she was investigating my case and would call me when she knew more. Why she couldn’t just tell me that in the message, I don’t know. So, I wait and I check my YourTexasBenefits account every single day. On Thursday (Dad’s birthday), all mention of Star+Plus is removed from my account. Yay, right? I figure I’ll be getting a call that everything is straightened out and I’m back on traditional Medicaid.

Still hadn’t heard anything yesterday, so I called to get an update. I get passed around a couple of times because it’s the government and they refuse to give you a direct line to the department you need. But I end up on the phone with someone in the wrong department but who actually seems to know what she’s talking about. She confirmed I was right all along and that being on CLASS and Medicare precludes me from being on Star+Plus. Everything in her system indicates that I’m back on traditional Medicaid. She made a note that all mention of Star+Plus was removed from my YourTexasBenefits account. And she got in touch with the escalation unit for me. Supposedly, they’re still waiting for some kind of confirmation from Medicaid that I’m back on traditional Medicaid and that’s why they haven’t been in touch.

So, this has all been a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. Because government. And I’m still waiting to officially be told I’m back on traditional Medicaid. Such fun. Ugh.

Soggy Days and Reading

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this wonderful Wednesday? I feel like I’ve been complaining a lot this year, which means I have been. I’m sorry. It just seems like one of those years where everything goes wrong. The government is annoying. Stuff isn’t getting done in a timely manner. The weather is insane. It’s June. We’re not supposed to be having flash flood warnings every day. We’re supposed to be staring triple digits in the face and wondering what the people complaining about the heat are going to do when summer gets here. The ground is saturated and the lakes are full. The rain can stop now. But we have been extremely lucky so far. I won’t say how because that will jinx it, but yes. Very lucky in general. So, I’m going to try to stop complaining and ramble about good things. I’ve finished reading 17 books this year, so I thought I would share some of the better ones with you.

1. White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton. I was a little skeptical at first because my minion recommended it and he’s weird. But it’s gay urban fantasy with a tentacle monster, so I had to see for myself. I know what you’re thinking. “I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going!” Alas, no. But! It’s a fun read and I just bought the other two books in the series.

2. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. I read this one for one of those Kindle challenges. It was honestly kind of a weird read. A lot of the prose was lyrical and beautiful, but much of it was stark and blunt. It was kind of jarring, but I liked it. It fit the story.

3. Otherworldly by F.T. Lukens. It’s fun and fluffy. I don’t remember much beyond that. It was super enjoyable while I was reading it, though.

What books have you enjoyed this year? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions or comments here or on my social media pages!

A Little Rant

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Not a lot going on here. Just stupid government crap regarding my benefits. I can’t entirely blame the government for all my stress this time, because everything up until today was something else entirely and the people involved already know I’m not happy about how everything went down. Let’s just say stuff hasn’t been getting done in a timely manner. But today (Tuesday), I’ve spent far too much time trying to justify needing another hour of care every day. And I get it. The government doesn’t want to give just anyone benefits. They’re like giant companies that way. “You want healthcare and to be able to afford rent and food??? Damn commies.” But also, look at me. It’s pretty freaking obvious that I need care. I promise I’m not just a mooch. If they’d let me earn more than $1900 and change a month without screeching about taking my Medicaid away, I’d even try to be a productive member of society. But no. They don’t allow you to get to a stable place before they rip away the benefits that keep you alive. Just stay poor. Ugh. But that’s a different rant. Let’s get back on track.

I’m on a program called CLASS. They offer various services, but I only use the healthcare assistance service where they pay (actually Medicaid pays) for someone to take care of me. When I first got on the program at 18 after a ten year waitlist (yeah, no one even remembered signing up when we got the letter saying I was cripple enough for them), they only paid for outside help to come in. Eventually, they started paying family members, so Dad gets paid to take care of me. With all the prices on the rise and the fact that home healthcare works hadn’t gotten a raise in a ridiculous amount of time (because, you know, the Texas government), Dad requested an extra hour a day (no, he doesn’t get paid 24-hours a day because apparently the government thinks cripples are robots who just power down and require no assistance for far too many hours a day/night… as if normal human beings don’t have to pee or worse during sleep time, so cripples certainly don’t). But he’s up to 14 hours a day and the government is balking at a 15th hour. They’re forcing us to justify the request instead of just looking at my file and seeing my diagnosis (an incurable disorder that gets worse over time) and the fact that I have never asked for anything I don’t need and realizing that yeah, she needs help. It doesn’t help that they don’t reach out to me directly. There’s a middleperson. Things get lost in translation.

Anyway, it’s almost 8:00 and I’m getting hungry, so I’m going to stop ranting. But anyone who says cripples don’t work for their benefits and just get handouts have never had to deal with the government (state or federal). Fighting for shit I need is an entire job in itself. They should be paying me, but then they’d probably kick me off everything anyway. Blargh.

Worrisome Worries

~ shawnaborman ~ 4 Comments

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this week? It’s a little toasty here in Texas. That’s about it. Got our second Covid boosters yesterday (today as I’m writing this), so if the past is any indication, I’ll probably be feeling a little blah today (tomorrow?). Hope not. Anyway, if you remember last week’s post, you’ll know that I’m doing a ‘get to know me’ thing. You can look at the questions here or you can randomly pick a number between 1 and 50. Last week was 47. This week is 13. And numbers 43, 33, 11, and 27 will get us through August. This week’s pick is courtesy of Jen and it’s an annoying one (which she will be super pleased about). The prompt is “thing(s) you’re worried about”. Ugh.

Everything? Is that an appropriate answer? I’m worried the world is collapsing. The U.S. certainly is. You can’t leave the house without worrying about a deadly virus and all its little mutations (well, I can’t. Other people don’t give a flip and just go around mouth-breathing on whoever they want. Asshats). Can’t even leave the house without worrying about being shot, whether it’s road rage or mass shootings or whatever. It’s insane. And during all of this shit, women are being denied safe access to healthcare. Don’t bother coming at me with your baby killer arguments. I’m not even talking about women who choose to abort pregnancies. I’m talking about women being forced to carry dying/dead fetuses because they aren’t allowed to have an abortion. I’m talking about women getting sick and potentially dying because their body doesn’t evacuate everything and they need the help of an abortion to clean things out. Abortions aren’t just about killing babies. The procedure is a treatment for many things. But the pro-lifers don’t think about anything like that. And it’s absolutely terrifying that politicians are making these decisions instead of doctors and their patients. That’s a slippery slope. The government already tries to tell me what kind of medical equipment I don’t need. Everything is a fight. Pretty soon, they’ll just start saying no to everyone who’s not rich enough to line their coffers.

And that’s just a tiny helping of the rational things I’m worried about. I have a tendency to take every scenario to a worst-case one. Even just sitting around the house, I worry about stupid things like sink holes and drunk drivers (even though it would be super hard for any vehicle to come crashing into our house) and planes falling from the sky and fire (I especially worry about that one at night) and power outages (again, more a night time fear). The list goes on forever. It’s disturbing how much I worry about things, usually stupid things. But I can’t stop.

None of that even touches on my personal worries. Like, what do I do when Dad drops dead? What does he do when I drop dead? Yes, we have plans in place, but I still worry. What if I’m alone forever? What if I actually find someone (which is even more scary than being alone)? What if I never succeed at anything ever again? School didn’t adequately prepare me for failure in my career choice. Why am I so horrible at being a person? I suck at maintaining relationships. I’m not good at speaking. I cry when I’m angry. Why am I such a mess? In other words, I worry about everything.

I think I should probably stop rambling and shove all of this back down into the deepest recesses of my soul where it belongs. Deep breaths. Force the smile until it becomes natural. There we go. Next week is book review time! These posts will start up again the week after. As always, feel free to leave a comment or question here or on my social media pages! And pick a number if you want. Jen picked two, so I guess I won’t count multiple choices as cheating.

End of Year Rant

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing? Are you ready for the coming year? Things here are annoying, so I thought I would vent a little. It’s nothing super important or life and death or anything. It’s just irksome. The government is involved, so of course everything is taking way longer than it should and it’s all a giant hassle when it should be easy peasy. They’ve had years to streamline the process, but they have not. Just like with everything else they’re involved in. Things shouldn’t be this complicated. But anyway…

Some backstory. Dad started collecting social security this year. Well, according to a lawyer we went to when we made our wills (he specializes in cripple stuff), since I’m cripple, I should’ve been eligible to receive some benefits when Dad started collecting. We knew this, but we didn’t know what all we would have to do when the time came. So, when the SSA said we needed to complete a form for me to receive the benefits, we searched high and low on the website for it, but couldn’t find anything. Ugh. We called on July 23rd to find out what to do. Long story short, I would need to set up a phone meeting and answer some questions (no mention of a form), but there were no appointments available at that time. They would be in touch.

Fast forward to October when Dad starts receiving his benefits. We still haven’t heard anything about my appointment, though we have been calling at least once a month to make sure no one has forgotten. The nice SSA people all assured me it was just a matter of waiting, but that I won’t be penalized because they know I’ve been in touch and trying my best to move things along. The waiting game continues until Dad gets a super weird letter and calls them again himself in November. The lady he talks to thinks the wait is ridiculous as well and puts him in touch with a woman who sends our issue up to her bosses.

Are we, though?

At this point, Thanksgiving is upon us along with the rest of the holidays. More waiting. Then, yesterday I get an email from an ssa.gov email address that contains the correct national phone number to call back, so I open it. My appointment has been scheduled! For February… at like 9 in the morning despite my requests for an afternoon appointment. Whatever. I will make it work. And I will call today to confirm that the appointment is legit, that they have my correct contact info, and who I should call in the event that no one calls me.

Again…

But seriously. Why has it taken over six months just for an appointment? And there’s no guarantee that the appointment will be the end of this process. It probably won’t be, because at that point, they’re probably going to give me trouble about keeping my Medicaid, which will start another cycle of drama. I’m dreading that one even more than this whole mess. Why do they make everything so complicated? Ugh. Wish us luck. I’ll be back next week with my regularly scheduled book review. As always, feel free to share your thoughts and stories here or on my social media pages!

Arguing With A Brick Wall

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this bright and beautiful day? It’s that time of year where all of the doctor check ups/appointments seem to pop up together. Dad and I had the one with our PCP last week, he has one with a shoulder specialist this week, I have a dentist appointment that I’ve been putting off since the pandemic began next week, at the end of the month I see the pulmonologist, then early next month we both have at least one more appointment. Anyway, it has me thinking about masks and how people refuse to wear them. It’s annoying. It’s idiotic. It’s just people being assholes. And I’ve already ranted about it before, but I guess I’ll do it again.

I laughed.

Despite what people say, there’s no reason not to wear a mask. Other countries have been wearing face masks for years. In Japan, it started about 150 years ago as a way for miners to cut back on inhaling dust. In 1918 they became more popular to help stop the spread of influenza. And from there it’s just become a normal part of life. It’s common courtesy to wear a mask, especially when sick, so you don’t spread your germs. Yes, having to wear it every time you go somewhere can be annoying if you’re not used to it, but that’s no reason to flip out about it. So, why are Americans so opposed to the little piece of cloth? It’s ridiculous.

I even got bored enough that when a friend made a snide comment on another friend’s Facebook post, I engaged in a stupid argument that ended up being about how masks are bad for kids, physically and mentally. I asked for sources. He sent three articles and a YouTube video. I didn’t watch the video (I had stuff to do and I prefer to read), but I did go through the articles. The first one quoted a study, but the study they link to is for something completely different and doesn’t mention the quote at all. The second article made claims without research to back it up (the research papers it did reference weren’t horrible, but left a lot of questions open), didn’t mention that solutions have been found for many of the issues, and was obviously skewed in what it mentioned or neglected to mention. The third article wasn’t even relevant since the study it was based on has been formally retracted due to questionable methodology. It took me a few clicks and some light reading to see how many holes these articles were full of. I didn’t even have to Google anything. I just followed their own links. Why don’t other people do that? It’s not usually hard, unless the sources and effort put into the article are legitimate. If everything is legit, it’s much harder to find flaws. And yet people still insist on using this stuff as “facts.” Just stop.

Yeah, I know. It’s all a conspiracy by the Left to control people. Right? Just like pants and shirts and shoes and every other item of clothing. That’s all masks are. New clothing. Why don’t you run around naked if you’re so against a piece of clothing? It’d be more entertaining than hearing another rant about civil liberties. Or is it because you don’t believe in Covid? I guess people are just dropping dead for no reason. Seriously. I don’t understand people. And it’s like arguing with a brick wall. Non-maskers are fucking idiots and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

I’ll try not to go off on a rant next week. Feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages as usual, but I will be monitoring any arguments and intervene if things devolve too far into chaos.

Abbott is an Idiot: A Rant

~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! It’s Tuesday (March 2nd) as I’m writing this and I have to say that governor Abbott is a fucking idiot who has no idea what he’s doing or he just doesn’t care what he’s doing as long as he’s doing it for the highest bidder. Personally, I think it’s both of those things, but what do I know? Sane people wouldn’t reelect corrupt imbeciles over and over again. Oh, wait. My bad. They do it all the time. Anyway, in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m feeling a little ranty at the moment. I try not to blog when I’m in this mood because there are enough angry people on the Interwebz, but I don’t currently have anything else to talk about. So, feel free to come back next week when I’m in a better mood. Or read on. Your choice.

Me reading the executive order.

In case you haven’t been following things down here in Texas, after the atrocity that was Snowvidpocalypse a couple of weeks ago and the horrible handling of that by everyone involved, governor Abbott has hit a new low. Just because we’ve been in a slight downward trend of new Covid cases (which I believe has at least stalled if it hasn’t already turned upward again), he issued an executive order lifting all of the restrictions on businesses and getting rid of the mask mandate. If you don’t believe me, you can read about it for yourself here. There’s a link to the actual order at the bottom of that page. But anyway… His reasoning? Covid numbers have dropped, the vaccine rollout is going so well, and so many Texans have been adhering to the protocols for social distancing/mask wearing/etc. And that’s just a few of the ridiculous things he says. I don’t know what the guy’s been smoking, but he should probably share it with the rest of us.

Sure, let’s say the numbers are dropping. I’m too lazy to look it up, so I’ll ignore the fact that the US has surpassed half a million deaths due to Covid and I’ll take his word for it. But the vaccine rollout going well? That’s a joke. There were 29 million people in Texas as of 2019. Apparently there have been 5.7 million shots administered in Texas. Each vaccine requires two shots (at least until J&J’s vaccine comes out). We’re no where close to vaccinating everyone. I haven’t even tried to get the vaccine myself yet, but judging by the fact that I can’t even get my 92-year-old neighbor an appointment, I don’t have high hopes for me and Dad. Is Texas doing better than some other places? Yes, but it’s not doing well enough to brag about it. And it certainly isn’t doing well enough to tell people that the worst is behind us and that we can all burn our masks (I’m being dramatic, but you know that’s exactly what a lot of people are thinking now).

Feels like a good place for a dramatic sigh.

Also, I want to know where Abbott has been going in Texas that makes him think so many people are adhering to social distancing and wearing masks properly and all that jazz. I haven’t left the house much in a year, but videos and pictures and the rare occasion I watched people from parking lots while waiting for curbside deliveries have proven that to be a lie. Most people try, but they don’t seem to realize masks go over the nose. And lately, fewer people are even trying it seems. Of course, Abbott strongly suggests keeping masks and social distancing and all that, but without repercussions, most people aren’t going to do anything that slightly inconveniences them. I feel bad for the stores who keep mask policies, because a ton more asshats are going to throw fits when they run into those kinds of places. If Abbott really encourages masks, why is he ending the mandate? Who are these expert medical people he’s supposedly listening to that say everything is fine? I don’t get it. Show me proof that this crap is a good idea?

Basically

I think I’ll stop ranting and go eat. If you made it this far, you must really like me. As always, feel free to leave your thoughts and comments here or on my social media pages.

Types of Real Life People I Kill Off in Stories

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  I’d like to take a second to thank Joseph Carro once more for his super helpful guest post last week.  I hope everyone enjoyed it.  And now, for today’s post, I want to talk about some of the different types of people who make their way into my stories.  I’ve actually been a little aggravated lately (I try not to be easily annoyed, but it happens).  So, the different types of people I’m planning to talk about are usually the ones who die in my books and stories.  Painfully.  But don’t worry.  It’s just a cathartic type thing.  I’m not a sociopath.  I promise.

71UK03Jv9HL._SX425_
See?  It’s on a mug.  I’m not the only writer who does it.

Type the first: people who flake on me.  These include, but are not limited to, the people who make plans then “forget” even though you talked to them that morning, the salespeople who make appointments with you then call two hours before they’re supposed to meet you to reschedule because of “conflicts,” and the people who offer to do you a favor then ghost you for six months in the hopes you’ll forget instead of just saying “hey, I can’t follow through, sorry.”  I know, in the grand scheme of things, none of this is really important, but it’s still super annoying.  And I will smile and pretend it doesn’t bother me, but rest assured… I’ve killed far too many people (some multiple times) for doing this stuff.

Type the second: people who insist on treating me like I’m mentally challenged (or whatever the proper terminology is today).  I admit, after it’s pointed out that I’m perfectly capable of thinking and speaking for myself, most people treat me like a human being.  But there’s always that one waiter/waitress who tries to walk away without taking my dinner order despite the fact that I ordered my drink perfectly well five minutes before that.  I even had a professor in my community college who would always act super surprised when I answered his questions correctly even though he didn’t act that way with everyone else.  To be fair, he was a nice guy and I loved his class, but it was a little annoying.  It always is when people underestimate your intelligence.  I don’t kill off this type of person very often, but sometimes it just builds up and I have to release my aggravation somehow.

CBR9_7_AgainReallySupernatural.gif
This face applies to everything here.

Type the third: people who assume I have no life.  These are the ones who call up or text and want to make plans for that afternoon/night.  It’s not so much my friends who annoy me with this crap as it is companies.  And it’s always medical supply companies.  In the past couple of weeks, we’ve gotten two calls from people wanting to come out that afternoon or the next morning.  I don’t wake up until the afternoon.  And it’s a little insulting when they act like I should be home waiting for them.  I have a life.  Okay, I’m usually at home, but that doesn’t mean I’m not busy.  Don’t just assume I’ll be here unless you make an appointment a few days in advance.  And then, don’t flake on me.  If you do multiple annoying things, torture will precede your death.

dont-invite-me-anywhere-last-minute-i-enjoy-doing-nothing-3974635
The Interwebz gets me.

I think that’s enough ranting about the types of people who die in my writing.  Of course, there are many other categories, but these are the ones that spring readily to mind when I think about this stuff.  What about you?  Do you use death in your work as a way to deal with people who annoy you?  What types of people make it into your work most often?  Feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!

It Just Irks Me

~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello!  The past few weeks, I’ve been really diligent about submitting to at least two magazines or anthologies each Monday.  This means that I’ve been going through Duotrope, Ralan’s site, and random calls for submissions.  In my searches, I came across a really neat anthology that I will likely submit to if I can come up with a story that falls in the realm of Sci-Fi, but something about their call rubs me the wrong way.  They’re looking for people who “identify as disabled.”  I had to read their call three times before I realized it was that exact phrase that made me twitch every time.  Something about it just irks me.

head tilt
If I could tilt my head, this would’ve been my reaction.

The anthology is being put together by people with disabilities and will be comprised of stories/essays/poems/etc. by people with disabilities, so I want to be clear that I think it’s a wonderful thing and I look forward to reading it.  The thing that makes me pause and overthink everything is the concept of choosing whether or not to identify as disabled.  It’s something I never really thought about before, because my crippleness is so apparent that not having it as part of my identity was never an option.  In my experience, people are either disabled or they aren’t.  They don’t really get a choice.

Sure, some disabilities are less severe than others.  Some are even invisible.  But a disability is a disability regardless of whether outsiders can tell it’s there or not.  If you’re disabled in a way that isn’t apparent to others and you choose to keep it to yourself, that’s your prerogative, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re disabled.  If you don’t have a physical or mental deficit/difference, even if you want one (which apparently is a thing, though I have no idea why anyone would want to be disabled), then you aren’t disabled.  You could become disabled in the future, but you aren’t right now.  Disabilities don’t care how you identify.  They either happen to you or they don’t.

ctrl-alt-del1
From Ctrl+Alt+Del.  I still laugh when I come across this one.

I suppose my biggest issue with the idea of choosing whether or not to identify as disabled is that it implies disability is some kind of social construct that people can opt into or out of whenever they want.  It’s not.  Disabilities are diseases and abnormalities that people have to deal with every single day.  It’s not a choice.  It’s not politics.  It’s the hand life decided to deal us.

But I also know there are a lot of people who struggle with the idea of whether or not they’re “disabled enough” to claim the title.  That’s why the anthology uses the concept of identity in its call.  They want to include as many people as possible and they want people with disabilities to know that they aren’t judging what counts as a disability.  They want people to feel welcome to submit no matter the type of disability or severity.  In my head, I know and understand this.  I even think it’s a diplomatic way to handle a tough situation.  It’s just something that made me stop and think.

what-is-overthinking-disorder-1
I do this far too often.

I’m going to stop rambling now.  Feel free to leave your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!