Worrisome Worries

July 20, 2022July 19, 2022 ~ shawnaborman ~ 4 Comments

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this week? It’s a little toasty here in Texas. That’s about it. Got our second Covid boosters yesterday (today as I’m writing this), so if the past is any indication, I’ll probably be feeling a little blah today (tomorrow?). Hope not. Anyway, if you remember last week’s post, you’ll know that I’m doing a ‘get to know me’ thing. You can look at the questions here or you can randomly pick a number between 1 and 50. Last week was 47. This week is 13. And numbers 43, 33, 11, and 27 will get us through August. This week’s pick is courtesy of Jen and it’s an annoying one (which she will be super pleased about). The prompt is “thing(s) you’re worried about”. Ugh.

Everything? Is that an appropriate answer? I’m worried the world is collapsing. The U.S. certainly is. You can’t leave the house without worrying about a deadly virus and all its little mutations (well, I can’t. Other people don’t give a flip and just go around mouth-breathing on whoever they want. Asshats). Can’t even leave the house without worrying about being shot, whether it’s road rage or mass shootings or whatever. It’s insane. And during all of this shit, women are being denied safe access to healthcare. Don’t bother coming at me with your baby killer arguments. I’m not even talking about women who choose to abort pregnancies. I’m talking about women being forced to carry dying/dead fetuses because they aren’t allowed to have an abortion. I’m talking about women getting sick and potentially dying because their body doesn’t evacuate everything and they need the help of an abortion to clean things out. Abortions aren’t just about killing babies. The procedure is a treatment for many things. But the pro-lifers don’t think about anything like that. And it’s absolutely terrifying that politicians are making these decisions instead of doctors and their patients. That’s a slippery slope. The government already tries to tell me what kind of medical equipment I don’t need. Everything is a fight. Pretty soon, they’ll just start saying no to everyone who’s not rich enough to line their coffers.

And that’s just a tiny helping of the rational things I’m worried about. I have a tendency to take every scenario to a worst-case one. Even just sitting around the house, I worry about stupid things like sink holes and drunk drivers (even though it would be super hard for any vehicle to come crashing into our house) and planes falling from the sky and fire (I especially worry about that one at night) and power outages (again, more a night time fear). The list goes on forever. It’s disturbing how much I worry about things, usually stupid things. But I can’t stop.

None of that even touches on my personal worries. Like, what do I do when Dad drops dead? What does he do when I drop dead? Yes, we have plans in place, but I still worry. What if I’m alone forever? What if I actually find someone (which is even more scary than being alone)? What if I never succeed at anything ever again? School didn’t adequately prepare me for failure in my career choice. Why am I so horrible at being a person? I suck at maintaining relationships. I’m not good at speaking. I cry when I’m angry. Why am I such a mess? In other words, I worry about everything.

I think I should probably stop rambling and shove all of this back down into the deepest recesses of my soul where it belongs. Deep breaths. Force the smile until it becomes natural. There we go. Next week is book review time! These posts will start up again the week after. As always, feel free to leave a comment or question here or on my social media pages! And pick a number if you want. Jen picked two, so I guess I won’t count multiple choices as cheating.

End of Year Rant

December 22, 2021December 21, 2021 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing? Are you ready for the coming year? Things here are annoying, so I thought I would vent a little. It’s nothing super important or life and death or anything. It’s just irksome. The government is involved, so of course everything is taking way longer than it should and it’s all a giant hassle when it should be easy peasy. They’ve had years to streamline the process, but they have not. Just like with everything else they’re involved in. Things shouldn’t be this complicated. But anyway…

Some backstory. Dad started collecting social security this year. Well, according to a lawyer we went to when we made our wills (he specializes in cripple stuff), since I’m cripple, I should’ve been eligible to receive some benefits when Dad started collecting. We knew this, but we didn’t know what all we would have to do when the time came. So, when the SSA said we needed to complete a form for me to receive the benefits, we searched high and low on the website for it, but couldn’t find anything. Ugh. We called on July 23rd to find out what to do. Long story short, I would need to set up a phone meeting and answer some questions (no mention of a form), but there were no appointments available at that time. They would be in touch.

Fast forward to October when Dad starts receiving his benefits. We still haven’t heard anything about my appointment, though we have been calling at least once a month to make sure no one has forgotten. The nice SSA people all assured me it was just a matter of waiting, but that I won’t be penalized because they know I’ve been in touch and trying my best to move things along. The waiting game continues until Dad gets a super weird letter and calls them again himself in November. The lady he talks to thinks the wait is ridiculous as well and puts him in touch with a woman who sends our issue up to her bosses.

At this point, Thanksgiving is upon us along with the rest of the holidays. More waiting. Then, yesterday I get an email from an ssa.gov email address that contains the correct national phone number to call back, so I open it. My appointment has been scheduled! For February… at like 9 in the morning despite my requests for an afternoon appointment. Whatever. I will make it work. And I will call today to confirm that the appointment is legit, that they have my correct contact info, and who I should call in the event that no one calls me.

But seriously. Why has it taken over six months just for an appointment? And there’s no guarantee that the appointment will be the end of this process. It probably won’t be, because at that point, they’re probably going to give me trouble about keeping my Medicaid, which will start another cycle of drama. I’m dreading that one even more than this whole mess. Why do they make everything so complicated? Ugh. Wish us luck. I’ll be back next week with my regularly scheduled book review. As always, feel free to share your thoughts and stories here or on my social media pages!

Arguing With A Brick Wall

August 11, 2021August 10, 2021 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this bright and beautiful day? It’s that time of year where all of the doctor check ups/appointments seem to pop up together. Dad and I had the one with our PCP last week, he has one with a shoulder specialist this week, I have a dentist appointment that I’ve been putting off since the pandemic began next week, at the end of the month I see the pulmonologist, then early next month we both have at least one more appointment. Anyway, it has me thinking about masks and how people refuse to wear them. It’s annoying. It’s idiotic. It’s just people being assholes. And I’ve already ranted about it before, but I guess I’ll do it again.

Despite what people say, there’s no reason not to wear a mask. Other countries have been wearing face masks for years. In Japan, it started about 150 years ago as a way for miners to cut back on inhaling dust. In 1918 they became more popular to help stop the spread of influenza. And from there it’s just become a normal part of life. It’s common courtesy to wear a mask, especially when sick, so you don’t spread your germs. Yes, having to wear it every time you go somewhere can be annoying if you’re not used to it, but that’s no reason to flip out about it. So, why are Americans so opposed to the little piece of cloth? It’s ridiculous.

I even got bored enough that when a friend made a snide comment on another friend’s Facebook post, I engaged in a stupid argument that ended up being about how masks are bad for kids, physically and mentally. I asked for sources. He sent three articles and a YouTube video. I didn’t watch the video (I had stuff to do and I prefer to read), but I did go through the articles. The first one quoted a study, but the study they link to is for something completely different and doesn’t mention the quote at all. The second article made claims without research to back it up (the research papers it did reference weren’t horrible, but left a lot of questions open), didn’t mention that solutions have been found for many of the issues, and was obviously skewed in what it mentioned or neglected to mention. The third article wasn’t even relevant since the study it was based on has been formally retracted due to questionable methodology. It took me a few clicks and some light reading to see how many holes these articles were full of. I didn’t even have to Google anything. I just followed their own links. Why don’t other people do that? It’s not usually hard, unless the sources and effort put into the article are legitimate. If everything is legit, it’s much harder to find flaws. And yet people still insist on using this stuff as “facts.” Just stop.

Yeah, I know. It’s all a conspiracy by the Left to control people. Right? Just like pants and shirts and shoes and every other item of clothing. That’s all masks are. New clothing. Why don’t you run around naked if you’re so against a piece of clothing? It’d be more entertaining than hearing another rant about civil liberties. Or is it because you don’t believe in Covid? I guess people are just dropping dead for no reason. Seriously. I don’t understand people. And it’s like arguing with a brick wall. Non-maskers are fucking idiots and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

I’ll try not to go off on a rant next week. Feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages as usual, but I will be monitoring any arguments and intervene if things devolve too far into chaos.

Abbott is an Idiot: A Rant

March 3, 2021March 2, 2021 ~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! It’s Tuesday (March 2nd) as I’m writing this and I have to say that governor Abbott is a fucking idiot who has no idea what he’s doing or he just doesn’t care what he’s doing as long as he’s doing it for the highest bidder. Personally, I think it’s both of those things, but what do I know? Sane people wouldn’t reelect corrupt imbeciles over and over again. Oh, wait. My bad. They do it all the time. Anyway, in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m feeling a little ranty at the moment. I try not to blog when I’m in this mood because there are enough angry people on the Interwebz, but I don’t currently have anything else to talk about. So, feel free to come back next week when I’m in a better mood. Or read on. Your choice.

In case you haven’t been following things down here in Texas, after the atrocity that was Snowvidpocalypse a couple of weeks ago and the horrible handling of that by everyone involved, governor Abbott has hit a new low. Just because we’ve been in a slight downward trend of new Covid cases (which I believe has at least stalled if it hasn’t already turned upward again), he issued an executive order lifting all of the restrictions on businesses and getting rid of the mask mandate. If you don’t believe me, you can read about it for yourself here. There’s a link to the actual order at the bottom of that page. But anyway… His reasoning? Covid numbers have dropped, the vaccine rollout is going so well, and so many Texans have been adhering to the protocols for social distancing/mask wearing/etc. And that’s just a few of the ridiculous things he says. I don’t know what the guy’s been smoking, but he should probably share it with the rest of us.

Sure, let’s say the numbers are dropping. I’m too lazy to look it up, so I’ll ignore the fact that the US has surpassed half a million deaths due to Covid and I’ll take his word for it. But the vaccine rollout going well? That’s a joke. There were 29 million people in Texas as of 2019. Apparently there have been 5.7 million shots administered in Texas. Each vaccine requires two shots (at least until J&J’s vaccine comes out). We’re no where close to vaccinating everyone. I haven’t even tried to get the vaccine myself yet, but judging by the fact that I can’t even get my 92-year-old neighbor an appointment, I don’t have high hopes for me and Dad. Is Texas doing better than some other places? Yes, but it’s not doing well enough to brag about it. And it certainly isn’t doing well enough to tell people that the worst is behind us and that we can all burn our masks (I’m being dramatic, but you know that’s exactly what a lot of people are thinking now).

Feels like a good place for a dramatic sigh.

Also, I want to know where Abbott has been going in Texas that makes him think so many people are adhering to social distancing and wearing masks properly and all that jazz. I haven’t left the house much in a year, but videos and pictures and the rare occasion I watched people from parking lots while waiting for curbside deliveries have proven that to be a lie. Most people try, but they don’t seem to realize masks go over the nose. And lately, fewer people are even trying it seems. Of course, Abbott strongly suggests keeping masks and social distancing and all that, but without repercussions, most people aren’t going to do anything that slightly inconveniences them. I feel bad for the stores who keep mask policies, because a ton more asshats are going to throw fits when they run into those kinds of places. If Abbott really encourages masks, why is he ending the mandate? Who are these expert medical people he’s supposedly listening to that say everything is fine? I don’t get it. Show me proof that this crap is a good idea?

I think I’ll stop ranting and go eat. If you made it this far, you must really like me. As always, feel free to leave your thoughts and comments here or on my social media pages.

Types of Real Life People I Kill Off in Stories

June 19, 2018June 19, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! I’d like to take a second to thank Joseph Carro once more for his super helpful guest post last week. I hope everyone enjoyed it. And now, for today’s post, I want to talk about some of the different types of people who make their way into my stories. I’ve actually been a little aggravated lately (I try not to be easily annoyed, but it happens). So, the different types of people I’m planning to talk about are usually the ones who die in my books and stories. Painfully. But don’t worry. It’s just a cathartic type thing. I’m not a sociopath. I promise.

71UK03Jv9HL._SX425_ — See? It’s on a mug. I’m not the only writer who does it.

Type the first: people who flake on me. These include, but are not limited to, the people who make plans then “forget” even though you talked to them that morning, the salespeople who make appointments with you then call two hours before they’re supposed to meet you to reschedule because of “conflicts,” and the people who offer to do you a favor then ghost you for six months in the hopes you’ll forget instead of just saying “hey, I can’t follow through, sorry.” I know, in the grand scheme of things, none of this is really important, but it’s still super annoying. And I will smile and pretend it doesn’t bother me, but rest assured… I’ve killed far too many people (some multiple times) for doing this stuff.

Type the second: people who insist on treating me like I’m mentally challenged (or whatever the proper terminology is today). I admit, after it’s pointed out that I’m perfectly capable of thinking and speaking for myself, most people treat me like a human being. But there’s always that one waiter/waitress who tries to walk away without taking my dinner order despite the fact that I ordered my drink perfectly well five minutes before that. I even had a professor in my community college who would always act super surprised when I answered his questions correctly even though he didn’t act that way with everyone else. To be fair, he was a nice guy and I loved his class, but it was a little annoying. It always is when people underestimate your intelligence. I don’t kill off this type of person very often, but sometimes it just builds up and I have to release my aggravation somehow.

Type the third: people who assume I have no life. These are the ones who call up or text and want to make plans for that afternoon/night. It’s not so much my friends who annoy me with this crap as it is companies. And it’s always medical supply companies. In the past couple of weeks, we’ve gotten two calls from people wanting to come out that afternoon or the next morning. I don’t wake up until the afternoon. And it’s a little insulting when they act like I should be home waiting for them. I have a life. Okay, I’m usually at home, but that doesn’t mean I’m not busy. Don’t just assume I’ll be here unless you make an appointment a few days in advance. And then, don’t flake on me. If you do multiple annoying things, torture will precede your death.

dont-invite-me-anywhere-last-minute-i-enjoy-doing-nothing-3974635 — The Interwebz gets me.

I think that’s enough ranting about the types of people who die in my writing. Of course, there are many other categories, but these are the ones that spring readily to mind when I think about this stuff. What about you? Do you use death in your work as a way to deal with people who annoy you? What types of people make it into your work most often? Feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!

It Just Irks Me

January 17, 2018January 16, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! The past few weeks, I’ve been really diligent about submitting to at least two magazines or anthologies each Monday. This means that I’ve been going through Duotrope, Ralan’s site, and random calls for submissions. In my searches, I came across a really neat anthology that I will likely submit to if I can come up with a story that falls in the realm of Sci-Fi, but something about their call rubs me the wrong way. They’re looking for people who “identify as disabled.” I had to read their call three times before I realized it was that exact phrase that made me twitch every time. Something about it just irks me.

head tilt — If I could tilt my head, this would’ve been my reaction.

The anthology is being put together by people with disabilities and will be comprised of stories/essays/poems/etc. by people with disabilities, so I want to be clear that I think it’s a wonderful thing and I look forward to reading it. The thing that makes me pause and overthink everything is the concept of choosing whether or not to identify as disabled. It’s something I never really thought about before, because my crippleness is so apparent that not having it as part of my identity was never an option. In my experience, people are either disabled or they aren’t. They don’t really get a choice.

Sure, some disabilities are less severe than others. Some are even invisible. But a disability is a disability regardless of whether outsiders can tell it’s there or not. If you’re disabled in a way that isn’t apparent to others and you choose to keep it to yourself, that’s your prerogative, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re disabled. If you don’t have a physical or mental deficit/difference, even if you want one (which apparently is a thing, though I have no idea why anyone would want to be disabled), then you aren’t disabled. You could become disabled in the future, but you aren’t right now. Disabilities don’t care how you identify. They either happen to you or they don’t.

ctrl-alt-del1 — From Ctrl+Alt+Del. I still laugh when I come across this one.

I suppose my biggest issue with the idea of choosing whether or not to identify as disabled is that it implies disability is some kind of social construct that people can opt into or out of whenever they want. It’s not. Disabilities are diseases and abnormalities that people have to deal with every single day. It’s not a choice. It’s not politics. It’s the hand life decided to deal us.

But I also know there are a lot of people who struggle with the idea of whether or not they’re “disabled enough” to claim the title. That’s why the anthology uses the concept of identity in its call. They want to include as many people as possible and they want people with disabilities to know that they aren’t judging what counts as a disability. They want people to feel welcome to submit no matter the type of disability or severity. In my head, I know and understand this. I even think it’s a diplomatic way to handle a tough situation. It’s just something that made me stop and think.

what-is-overthinking-disorder-1 — I do this far too often.

I’m going to stop rambling now. Feel free to leave your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!

How Not To Treat Your Patients And Acceptable Alternatives

July 13, 2016July 12, 2016 ~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Hello, hello! Today’s post will be devoted to the cripple side of life, rather than writing or food (and it’s kind of a rant). As many of you know, at best, I dislike doctors and, at worst, I despise them. I don’t like people who touch/grab/pull at me without asking FIRST and listening when I explain my limitations (doctors are great at the grabbing, but not so much with the listening). My anxiety levels are usually already maxed out before I even enter the building due to other fears mingling with the whole “it’s a doctor’s appointment” thing. Still, if a doctor says they want to see me, I make an appointment. I’ve never missed an appointment without a legitimate reason and, if something happens that I have to cancel, I do so as early as possible. Even though I don’t particularly like doctors, I’m not difficult to get along with as long as space boundaries are respected and they make their wishes known. Communication is key here.

e8f04846c371381994cabb01db608ac1 — This applies even if I can’t physically throat punch you. Rest assured, I am visualizing it.

So, here are some things that I do NOT respond to well as a patient (for my pulmonologist, but any doctor really):

1. Threatening to take away one of my machines. He didn’t threaten this directly, but he refuses to sign the paperwork okaying my second ventilator unless I come see him. We (my dad and I) have received no phone calls or emails or anything in the last year and more than a half (since my last appointment) saying this doctor wanted me to come in for a check up or else we would have complied. Instead, we got a call from the company supplying my vents that said they are going to take one away if the doctor won’t sign the paperwork. Does he really think I’ve gotten better since my last appointment? No. That’s not how this disease works.

2. Being forced to make a rushed appointment when it’s not technically necessary. Which is exactly what the above situation called for. I’ve only seen this doctor twice before, but both times he was booked months out, so a quick appointment isn’t exactly easy. Luckily, he had an opening for tomorrow (today? Wednesday, July 13th).

3. Being informed two days before my appointment that the hospital doesn’t accept my insurance. So, my options become a) cancel the appointment and risk losing one of my vents or b) paying $570 out of pocket. This is the ultimatum amidst a clusterfuck (pardon my language) of people trying to figure out if they can get my insurance to work with two days notice. I’m just glad I have Dad to field the phone calls (sorry I’m a PITA, or at least the reason you have to deal with this crap). It’s unnecessary stress that will most likely end up with us out $570. We’ll find out tomorrow (today?). If the appointment isn’t pushed back. We won’t know what’s going on until some time in the morning (just hours before the appointment). Yeah. Great.

fea8b2695ec5165d8418821ec913ad7ce1fe64a257a60494f23622fbe727a587

Some acceptable alternatives to these things:

1. Call/email/text/send a carrier pigeon to schedule an appointment BEFORE you decide I don’t need a machine. I, like many people, don’t even think about doctors unless I’m sick/in immense pain/dying. And 90% of the time, I don’t even go then. If you want to see me, tell me. It’s that easy.

2. Give me plenty of notice. Hell, I will gladly make (and keep) an appointment for a year out if you want to make it as I leave the appointment we just had. If you don’t want to do that, see the first item of this list. Preferably, give me a month or two notice in case we run across any issues like you not accepting my insurance, so we have time to work it out.

3. Take my insurance information earlier, so we can work out any wrinkles without the pressure of an impending appointment. Follow the first two steps, and this one will be no problem. It’ll also give us time to explore our other options (whether that be insurance or doctors or whatever).

827213 — Because awkward Sheldon makes me smile.

In other words, use common sense and common courtesy. I don’t know why these things are called ‘common’ when they’re anything but. Hopefully, my appointment tomorrow (today?) won’t be as much of a disaster as I’m imagining. Many people involved in this debacle have been very nice and understanding. Some have not. Either way, Dad and I have been stressing about all of this, so someone (knowing Dad, probably a lot of someones) is going to get an earful. If we go. Like I said, still waiting on the green light.

Sorry for the rant! I know my problems don’t compare to what’s happening in the rest of the world, but they bug me nonetheless. Thanks for listening/reading. Back to the regularly scheduled randomness next week. Peace out.

The Writer’s Struggle: Cultural Appropriation

September 9, 2015September 8, 2015 ~ shawnaborman ~ 3 Comments

Hi all! Today, I want to talk about something that is a really touchy subject for a lot of people: cultural appropriation. It’s something I’ve seen tossed around a lot lately, and most of the time, I wonder if the people throwing that phrase around actually understand what it implies or if they’re just looking for something to rant about. Honestly, it usually seems like the latter.

It’s something that’s seeping into every aspect of life. It’s gotten to the point where people are afraid to study other cultures because some lunatic might come up screaming “cultural appropriation” at them when really, they’re trying to learn how not to appropriate things. People are afraid to cosplay characters outside of their race and gender because of the same reason. It’s ridiculous. As long as the cosplayer isn’t doing anything derogatory, what’s wrong with an African American Elsa or an Hispanic Tiana or a white Mulan? There’s nothing wrong with showing your love for a character by cosplaying as them. And that’s what cosplay is about, love and appreciation of a character, not taking something that doesn’t belong to you.

For a writer, cultural appropriation is a terrifying thing. We’re constantly told to write diverse characters, especially when it comes to popular fiction. That’s like rule number one in writing. However, I’ve seen a huge increase in authors (mainly white authors) getting called out and put down for writing outside of their own cultures, no matter how well they did their research and how respectful they were. Basically, it seems like we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Personally, I tend to blend cultures in my longer stories (I’m from the U.S., aka the melting pot, so why wouldn’t I write that way?). I’m constantly worried someone’s going to accuse me of cultural appropriation, but you know what? I’m not going to whitewash my stories simply because some overzealous crusaders think a white chick from Texas shouldn’t incorporate Japanese culture, Greek mythology, and all of the other elements included in my stories in her work. I like a colorful world that expands beyond my own horizons. Sorry, not sorry.

I do, however, follow a few rules when writing that I hope will deter the cultural appropriation shriekers if/when I get published.

1. I do my research! Granted, I use a lot of mythology and, when there’s not a lot to go on, I tweak certain stories to fit my books, but I’m never disrespectful about it. I know I’ll catch flak from some people for it, but I’m prepared for that.

2. I don’t rely on stereotypes when creating my characters and worlds. Most stereotypes are quite insulting, a personification of the worst aspects of a person. If something fits the character, I’ll use it, but it will be tempered by other aspects of human nature to create a fully fleshed out person. At least that’s my goal.

3. The one don’t on my list is “don’t be a dick.” I never use anything with the intention of making fun of or insulting a culture. Research and not relying on stereotypes really helps with that. Don’t get me wrong, my characters can be incredibly rude to each other, but there’s always a purpose for it in the stories. It’s never an attack on any culture.

So, to sum up… Go learn about that culture you’re interested in (and all of the others)! Go cosplay as that character you adore! Go write all the things! Just don’t be a jerk about it.

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