When In Doubt…

May 17, 2017May 16, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! I thought I’d share a little update on the agent search saga. I received a rejection from the agent who requested a full copy of my manuscript. It was the first rejection that I couldn’t attribute to slush reader denial, and I admit it threw me a bit, emotionally. They loved Bailey (the main character), but they suggested reworking it into a non-fantasy book because they felt my writing was strongest in the non-fantastical parts. I panicked. How was I supposed to rewrite this particular story without fantasy and keep it from turning into a memoir or something similar (there’s too much of my younger self in Bailey to keep her in the realm of literary fiction even if I managed to peel the fantastical parts away)? I’ve always been against crossing into CNF, especially when it involves elements of my own life (I’m not that interesting, I swear). I have nothing against people who want to write that type of stuff, but it’s just not who I am. So, I let myself be overcome by doubt for a couple of days.

zZL4Oqk1PljdC — Me normally? Kyoya. Me on rejection day? The twins. I will never be Tamaki, though.

It’s been a long time since I’ve received a critique (no matter how small) from someone who held my inner writer’s fragile little ego in their hands and had the ability to crush it. I love my critique group dearly, but I know they’ll give honest feedback in a friendly manner. When I was in school, I actually liked the people who were brutal with their feedback. I welcomed it. But over the past couple of years, I kind of forgot that a critique is just someone else’s opinions, whether that someone is a friend or a teacher or an agent or whoever. It’s simply one person’s opinion. Yeah, it’s harder to hear some people’s thoughts than others, but the story is still mine. I can’t help but feel like I’ve gotten a little weak for forgetting that.

For a couple of days after I received the rejection, I stopped working on my current WIP (the second book in the series). What was the point if I was just going to have to change the first book completely? Then, I remembered something my mentor for my thesis semester (Elizabeth Hand) wrote in my evaluation. She basically said that I was always extremely open to suggestions for edits and revisions, but that I had zero qualms about saying no to things because I knew what was best for my story. That was when I started working on my WIP again. This series started as litfic and went nowhere. It wasn’t until someone suggested I write it as the kind of stuff I actually enjoyed reading that it started moving forward on its own. I just can’t abandon that story yet.

How+About+No — My usual reaction when I come across suggestions that don’t fit my stories.

Sometimes, we all need a little reminder that we’re the creator of the worlds we write about. We choose which suggestions and comments to implement and which ones to ignore. That’s our decision to make as writers. I know it’s hard to ignore some people’s critiques, especially when they’ve been in the business a lot longer than you and when they’re successful and you’re just getting started. Be open to suggestions, but don’t be afraid to say no if it doesn’t feel right. You know what’s best for your stories.

So yeah, when in doubt, trust yourself. I’m going to try to remember this as future rejections roll in. I can’t promise I won’t temporarily panic, but I’ll get over it given time. If you’re in a similar situation, you’ll be okay too. Let yourself freak out a little if that’s your thing (I, personally, prefer to avoid that step), but then remember that you know what you’re doing. We will succeed… eventually.

One Step Forward

May 3, 2017May 2, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! Yesterday, after numerous rejections from agents (all of which were form rejections or close to it), I received my first full manuscript request. I won’t say from where or who, because I understand that this is by no means an offer of representation, but it’s one step closer and that makes me super excited. Even if I end up with a rejection at the end of this, at least I can say someone who is a complete stranger to me was interested in my work, which is a huge deal since I always wonder if people are only supportive of me because I’m cripple (it’s happened before). Anyway, I’m getting off track. Today, I want to talk about how the little steps are just as exciting and deserving of celebration as the ultimate goal you’re working towards.

One-step-at-a-time — Kitty has the right idea. One step at a time.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I honestly needed a reminder of it myself: the little successes are still successes. I admit that I’ve been down lately with all of the rejections. I let the feelings of being a failure and an imposter get to me. It’s made writing hard and submitting things less than appealing. I forgot that submitting things and writing words were little steps on the writing journey in their own right, whether they end well or not. With all of the rejection writers (and artists of all kinds) face on a daily basis, we have to remember to celebrate the little things as well as the endgame.

Did you finish that short story or chapter today? Treat yourself! Is that your tenth (or hundredth) form rejection? Take pride in the fact that you submitted that many times. Did you get a lovely personal rejection? That deserves a toast! Without all of these little steps, some of which feel more like stumbles, we wouldn’t be moving forward. And as long as we’re pushing on, we’re trying, and that’s all that matters.

X7RiLS — This applies to life way more than it should.

Sometimes, we go so far down the rabbit hole of imposter syndrome that we need a hand getting back to a point where we can see the little steps. This boost could come as a surprise acceptance or a request for more, but more often than not, it comes from the support of people in the same situation. We aren’t alone in these feelings. If you can’t celebrate your own steps forward, help someone else to celebrate theirs. Most of the time, it’s easier to notice other people’s achievements, so you’ll cheer them on and tell them that rejection is just one step closer to an acceptance, then eventually you’ll realize these are the things you should also be celebrating for yourself. Help each other and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Celebrate your successes together!

dont-worry-we-got-your-back_o_78426 — Support each other like these puppies support this baby!

So yeah, even though it’s easy to get distracted by the big endgame, don’t forget the little things that get you there. It might take longer than you want, but if you stop trying, you’ll definitely never get to where you want to end up. Keep moving forward. Keep supporting each other. But most importantly, keep celebrating all the little steps as well as the leaps and bounds.

Writing Rituals

April 19, 2017April 18, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! I know a lot of people who can sit down and write with little to no hoopla, but I also know a lot of others who have to perform a kind of ritual before they can get the words to flow. I’m a little bit of both. There are only a couple of things that I have to do before I can write, everything else is just procrastination (at least I’m honest). But I thought I would share how my routine/ritual usually works.

Become-a-Writer-They-Said-It-Will-Be-Fun-They-Said — It can be fun, but usually it’s a lot of hard work that gets tossed aside in favor of other hard work that flows better.

My routine starts with my morning (actually, it’s noon-ish, but I don’t know what else to call getting out of bed and getting dressed) ritual. It takes about an hour and a half to finish because of the whole cripple thing. I can’t just jump up, throw pants on, and be ready for the day. That has to be done regardless of whether I write or not, so I don’t know if it really counts as part of the writing ritual or not.

Anyway, while Dad makes breakfast, I do all the little things that would normally draw my attention away from writing if I didn’t get them done. I post on my social media and respond to any comments, I check my email and note who I need to write back when, I play a round of my mindless games, and I work on the crossword puzzle. All of these things are just procrastination waiting to happen, so I try to get it out of the way before I eat (or right after if breakfast is a quick one).

procrastination-procrastination-everywhere — It really is, but you can work it into your routine if you try.

Breakfast is the only big thing that I have to do before writing. It’s impossible for me to focus on anything productive if I’m hungry. After food, I open the files I’ll need to get started on my work, do another quick social media and email check, set a timer for an hour, then start writing. After the hour is up, I log my word count and do another round of short procrastination, then write for another hour. I can usually meet my writing goal in two hours, but occasionally I’ll do a third. I will say this: I can usually write even if I don’t break it up by hours if I have to, but I find it harder to concentrate that way.

49863083 — Apparently there’s a Ryan Gosling meme for everything. I don’t really know why.

I know, I know. My writing rituals and routines aren’t all that interesting. There’s little to no blood sacrifice going on (it constantly surprises me too). But it’s how I usually work and it’s been good to me. When I stop being (kind of) productive, I’ll try something new. Maybe I’ll throw in a complicated chant or something to summon the muse. All my stuff aside, what works for you? Do you have a particular routine or ritual that gets you into the mood?

Which Came First: The Story Or The Character?

April 12, 2017April 10, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! One of the questions that authors often get asked is whether the story or the character came first. It’s basically the writer’s version of the chicken or the egg causality dilemma, but there’s no satisfying scientific explanation for it. There are actually a lot of different answers depending on who you ask, and in my experience, the answer is usually a little different for each story as well as each writer. It’s part of what makes writing unpredictable and fun. Even if I fall into a writing rhythm (which I like because it makes the words come easier), the path getting there is always a tad different.

chicken-before-the-egg — I thought a writerly version was more appropriate than the other cartoons I found.

For me, I usually get a nagging voice in my head that turns into someone who wants to tell me their story. The story is full of plotholes and vague connections and is nothing worthy of paper, but I can’t tell them that. They also have a tendency to talk about other people like I should know who these people are (pretty sure we all know someone who talks like that). Gradually, a cohesive story forms in my head and new voices pop up to fill in the holes. If I haven’t started writing by this point, it goes into a list of ideas to work on after my current project is done. That almost always quiets the voices enough that I can get my other work done.

To everyone who assumes I know everyone you do.

I guess that means that my answer is that characters and stories have a tendency to come simultaneously to me. Those are also usually the stories that are easiest for me to write down. But I will say that I don’t need a fleshed out story to start as long as the voice in my head is strong enough. I can’t work on a story when the characters aren’t there, so even though they might not technically come first, characters are the most important element to me.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I do occasionally have a voice that pops into my head without a story to tell (they’re my favorites, but don’t tell the others). These are the ones I talk to at night when I can’t sleep, so I learn so much more about them. I tend to keep them around until I find a story to slip them into. I also have a few plots and worlds that have built themselves with no solid characters to take the reins (but these are rare). So, like I said, each story gets born a little differently for me.

tumblr_ncqfgjb0St1tp42tfo1_500 — Just in case you were wondering about my sanity.

That’s how it usually works for me. The story and character more often than not happen simultaneously, but not always. What about you? Do the voices in your head tell you their stories? Maybe they just prefer to have random chats until you find homes for them. Or perhaps the plot comes to you and demands you create people to act it out with. Whatever your experience, feel free to share your thoughts or stories here or on my social media pages!

Form Rejections

March 29, 2017March 28, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! Last Thursday, I sent out a few of the queries I was talking about in my last post. Friday morning, I woke up to a form rejection from one of the companies that declare a no from one agent is a no from all of them. They didn’t even take the time to personalize it with my name or the title of my “material,” and the signature wasn’t from the agent I addressed my query to, but instead from an associate agent. It had been sent at 8:04 in the morning. I thought my first agent rejection would be devastating, that it would be so much harder to take than all of the other writerly rejections I’ve received. I was wrong. A form rejection that basic was pretty much the best first agent rejection I could have asked for.

rejected-kitty_orig — Cute animal memes help.

First, I suppose I should explain what a form rejection is for people who might not be sure. It’s basically a vague letter turning you down. Most of the ones I’ve gotten have an “it’s not you, it’s us” vibe. They start with a firm no, usually followed up by explaining that your story doesn’t mesh with what they’re looking for, and ending with something along the lines of “feel free to submit to us in the future.” Most of them are polite enough to include your name and the title of your story, at least in the realm of magazine/ezine rejections (not sure about agent rejections yet).

What do form rejections mean to me? Honestly, they tend to be an indication that my story didn’t even make it out of the slush pile, that it probably didn’t even make it to human eyes (and I might be entirely wrong, but it’s what I like to think). The places I submit to get hundreds of submissions a week. There’s no way they can read each piece and give them the attention they deserve. Slush readers weed through the ever-expanding piles and do their best to pick pieces the editors will enjoy or grab names that will bring in more readers. I’m guessing a similar process occurs in the agencies. I might not appreciate the whole process, but I understand it. As writers, rejection is a part of the game and we can’t question each one we get.

elephant rejection — Okay, but only for a little while, then back to work.

So, yeah. A barebones form rejection from an associate agent was exactly the kind of rejection I needed. It doesn’t mean that Garnets and Guardians is unwanted trash. It doesn’t reflect on my writing in any way. It simply means the agency wasn’t hooked by my query, if they even read it at all. And that’s okay. I’m more worried about when the rejections get personal, because then I’ll know it’s my fault. I might start getting really discouraged at that point. Until then, I’ll just keep writing and submitting and collecting my rejections. That’s all I can do.

49d9da07acf06ad615ae099ac4177a66 — Don’t let the rejections get you down!

How do you feel about form rejections? If they get you down, do you have any kind of ritual to help improve your mood again? Feel free to share any thoughts, stories, questions, or whatever here or on my social media pages!

Screen Vs. Paper

March 8, 2017March 7, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! How is everyone’s March going? Are we all ready for spring? Personally, I’m definitely ready to sit outside and write or read. The only problem with writing outside is that I use my computer (and its battery sucks), so I only get about two hours if I’m lucky before it has to be plugged back in. Which brings me to today’s topic: screen vs. paper. It’s a subjective topic. Some people work better when typing and others feel more productive with a pen in their hand. I’m kind of stuck in the middle on this one.

notebook-computer-writing-blogging — They both have benefits and drawbacks.

I tend to be a screen person. Why? Simply because it’s easier for me. Whether I’m using my backscratcher to hit the keys or the on-screen keyboard, I can type much faster than I can write. It’s not that I feel more productive (though technically I am) or creative when I’m on the computer, it’s just a matter of time management and the independence it gives me to work on whatever I want without having to worry about asking someone (namely Dad) for more paper or a different binder or whatever when I want to change projects. For me, the computer makes life easier, so it’s what I use.

What most people don’t know is that I actually enjoy using a pen and paper. I’ve always loved notebooks and journals and the like. I used to have tons of them, but they mostly stayed empty. It takes me twice as long as the slowest writer you know to even sign my name. The paper has to be placed a certain way. Sometimes, I have to write upside down. I can’t move my arms much, so even something as simple as writing by hand becomes a big production. But still, I like the feel of a pen in hand and my hand coming away covered in ink or graphite from rubbing across the page (left-handed people will understand). Plus, I like being able to doodle in the margins when I’m stuck on something.

So, like I said, I’m stuck in the middle. I love the idea of writing by hand, but it’s not a feasible every day thing for me, so I usually go with typing. I can definitely see where some people might have trouble focusing on a computer (that Internet button is so damn alluring). I can also understand why some people find paper to be impractical (there’s just no easy way to erase a sentence and add a paragraph in its place without making a seeming mess of the paper). I guess I’m lucky that I can enjoy working both ways, even if I mainly stick to the screen.

squirrel of judgment — The lure of the Interwebz has its downsides: judgmental squirrels.

I guess it’s all about finding what works for you. Are you a screen or paper person? This question isn’t limited to writers. Even artists have the option of working on the computer or in more traditional mediums. So, what do you prefer? Or maybe you like using both in your process. As always, feel free to share your thoughts here or on my social media sites!

Until next time!

Plotter Vs. Pantser

February 8, 2017February 7, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Hello, hello! It’s been awhile since I’ve really written something writing related, so I thought I should probably get back to that. After a long day of errands and asking people what I should blog about, a friend brought up the question of whether I’m a plotter or a pantser. Basically, do I outline my stories or do I let them grow organically. I’m sure I’ve at least glanced over this at some point in the past two years (I’ve kept a blog going for two years??? Who’d’ve thunk it?), but I decided to take a minute to dig deeper into this seeming dichotomy.

issue7 — From So You Write. I still don’t know all the abbreviations, so don’t feel bad.

First, let’s take a look at plotters. These are the people who get a story idea, then spend hours or days or weeks or longer plotting out all of the details and creating outlines and character bios and the like (and even charts or graphs for the hardcore plotters). Some of them plan every little thing ahead of time. Others write out the broad strokes (major plot points and characters and all of that) but leave connecting the dots until the actual writing process. This works really well for some people, but it’s not the only way to write.

leqoiq575v_1437536694125 — Just one example of plotting, courtesy of J.K. Rowling.

On the other hand, you have pantsers. These are the people who get a story idea and just go with it. Characters and adventures come and go organically as the story unfolds on the page. Many of them have no notes beyond the story itself. Some take notes as they go, so they don’t have to keep scrolling through their story to remember what someone was wearing or whatever. Others plot things out in their head as they go, but allow the story to ultimately dictate what happens. They aren’t afraid of getting sidetracked by a character who refuses to do what was planned. In other words, they fly by the seat of their pants.

As different as these two things are, I think they’re more two ends of a spectrum than separate identities. I certainly know people who are strict plotters and others who refuse to even attempt the restrictions of planning things out, but I prefer taking the middle ground. I fully admit that I have more pantser tendencies than not. I’ve always had trouble creating (and adhering to) outlines. All of my stories start organically and I prefer to let them unfold on their own, but I do get stuck sometimes when I do it that way. That’s when I switch to plotter mode. I write a rant (I literally whine and complain and generally grump during this whole process) to myself figuring out where I want the story to go, then once I get back on track, I switch back to pantser mode. There’s no shame in swinging both ways.

spockkirk_ed6bcd_4777877 — How most pantsers feel when dealing with unruly characters.

There’s no one right way to be a writer. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a Liar McLiarson, so don’t listen to them. Don’t be afraid to try plotting if you’re a pantser. It can really help things flow better when you’re stuck. Also, try flying by the seat of your pants occasionally if you’re a plotter. It can be freeing and new, exciting things could happen.

What are your thoughts on plotters vs. pantsers? Which one are you? Or do you dabble in both? As always, leave a comment here or on my social media pages!

Until next week!

The New Year Is Coming

December 28, 2016December 27, 2016 ~ shawnaborman ~ 5 Comments

Hello, hello! The new year is almost upon us. Unlike a lot of people I know, I have to say that 2016 wasn’t a bad year for me. Personally, it was a quiet and uneventful year. Yeah, bad and scary things happened in the world, but good things also happened. For example, Spinraza was approved by the FDA as the first therapy for Spinal Muscular Atrophy (which was one of my diagnoses over the years, but I was assured 7 or 8 years ago that I actually have Ullrich Congenital Muscular Dystrophy). Also, a lot of people were lost this year, including icons like Alan Rickman, Gene Wilder, and Carrie Fisher. But we’ve survived. We’re still here to make 2017 a better year. To make ourselves better people.

15726690_10154915430007848_1371003916072326513_n — R.I.P. General Organa

If we want the new year to be better, we have to start with ourselves. Many people make New Year’s Resolutions, which are great if you stick with them, but most of us don’t. A week into January and that resolution to exercise more flies out the window with that first pulled muscle. That resolution to be more positive disappears with the jerk who dents your car in the grocery store parking lot and doesn’t bother leaving a note. It’s hard to change our habits. And that’s okay. But if you really want the year to be better, you’re going to have to make an effort. That’s why I’m making a goal for myself for 2017.

For 2017, instead of trying to change my habits (which is what resolutions usually entail), I’ve decided to pick one area of my life that I want to advance in and create a high (but reachable) goal for myself. Right now, I’m mostly concerned about my career, so my goal is to find an agent by the end of 2017. Hopefully, it won’t take an entire year, but it’s a goal I’m comfortable with. If I were feeling courageous, I might go so far as to make my goal having my first novel published, but that takes time and requires an agent first (okay, so I don’t technically have to have an agent and I could go the whole self-publishing route for those who want to argue those points, but I don’t feel comfortable with those options for myself, so an agent I shall search for).

So, that’s my one big goal for 2017: find an agent.

I simply feel that if we aim to improve one part of our lives at a time (whether it’s our career, personal relationships, health, or whatever) with a concrete and reachable goal, we’ll have a better chance of achieving it and thus improving our year. By all means, make some resolutions or extravagant goals. Aim to change the world if that’s what you’re into, but remember that change starts at home. By improving yourself, you’re improving the world. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

quote-if-you-want-to-change-the-world-first-try-to-improve-and-bring-about-change-within-yourself-dalai-lama-106-25-22 — Exactly.

Do you have any resolutions or goals for the coming year? What area of your life would you most like to advance in during 2017? Leave a comment here or on my social media pages to share your plans for the year.

See you next year!

Accountability: Like Due Dates But Different

December 14, 2016December 13, 2016 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! I was really having a hard time deciding what to write about when a friend sent me a text thanking me for being the voice in her head asking if she was at least thinking about writing. It gave her the nudge she needed to stop at a place after work and take a little while to have a cup of tea and write some words. She hadn’t written in a while, but she wanted to, so I told her I’d pester her every day or so until she started writing. The second day of pestering and she’s already making time for it. That’s what happens when you’re held accountable for things like this, you make time for them.

castiel — I know, Cas. I know. I’ll go do that.

I don’t know about you, but I always work better with deadlines in place. At school, I could knock a ten page paper out in one night if I had to, as long as the research was done ahead of time. Deadlines meant grades. In the real world, missing deadlines affects the pay from the day job. In other words, deadlines carry the threat of consequences. But what’s going to happen if you don’t finish a novel? Unless you have a contract with a due date, nothing will happen. So, how do writers overcome this lack of a threat and finish things? We hold each other accountable.

In the beginning, I didn’t really understand how holding each other accountable would work. After all, if I don’t push myself to finish something, why would someone judging me for it be motivational? Turns out that guilt is a powerful tool. If I set reasonable goals with people and don’t reach them, I feel guilty. I don’t care if the end of the world pops up, if people know I planned on doing things and failed, it sucks. It also helps that I’m mildly competitive, so failure and losing are not an option. I won’t be the only one to not meet my goals.

According to people I’ve done this whole accountability thing with, it also works by legitimizing their craft, especially when they have jobs. They have trouble taking time out of their schedules to write because they feel like it shouldn’t be a priority even when they secretly (or not so secretly) want it to be. Having someone who will pester them and encourage them gives them an “excuse” to make time for writing.

calvinwriting — You can’t keep waiting when there’s no last minute.

So, even when deadlines aren’t an option, we can still motivate each other by holding each other accountable. We might not receive any real negative consequences if we don’t meet our goals, but we’ll have to live with the shame of disappointing our friends. Who has time for that?

Do you have any friends who pester you about your creative outlet? Does accountability work for you? How? If not, what do you do to stay productive and motivated? Leave a comment here or on my social media pages to share your thoughts!

Until next week!

A Writer’s Tale

December 7, 2016December 5, 2016 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! I was at a loss over what to write for today. My usual plea for topic ideas proved unfruitful this time. Then, I realized that I have never shared my journey to writerhood on here. At least I don’t think I have. Feel free to stop reading if you’ve heard this story before.

I’ve always written. Stories, poems, the occasional attempt at a comic strip (but my drawing skills failed me there). I never really wanted to be a professional, though, so I’m a little different from my friends and fellow writers who have wanted to do this forever. My crazy job goal was always a fashion designer, but when I figured out that wasn’t going to happen, I set my sights on more obtainable professions.

southern-methodist-university-beautiful-college-universities — Dallas Hall at SMU. This campus is where my plan tumbled down.

I went through most of my time at college (both community and university) waffling between psychology and English. With psychology, I could help kids like myself. After all, all the psychologists I saw walked into the room and presumed to know how I felt. It never seemed right to me. At least I would appear a little more relatable than they did to me. I also kept returning to English because it was easy and I enjoyed it. In fact, by the time I transferred to SMU (I went in as a Junior), the only degrees I had time to finish were psychology and English.

Since I had a semblance of a plan with psychology, I initially decided to go with that major. It was going well. I passed all my classes with fairly high grades (never less than a B). I really got into abnormal psychology, especially the class that focused on disorders in children. I aced my research class paper. But I still kept taking English classes as well.

2c5377c130a4205d2afe15b420112a517aafe30bee6ac6c260d13f0888601e6b — Try having the debate with yourself. I still secretly prefer APA.

Then, that fateful day came. Dad was walking me to class after a stop at the campus coffee shop and we were talking about majors and what I was planning to do, when he asked the question that shattered my little plan. “How’re you supposed to be a psychologist when you don’t like people?” He was right. I’m not a people person. I don’t like to pry. I’ll offer advice when asked, but beyond that you’re on your own. What kind of psychologist would I be? I could go into research, but I don’t even like that. Thus, I became an English major.

What was I supposed to do with an English major? I had zero desire to teach. So, I took some creative writing courses, found out that I still enjoyed writing, and dipped my toe into the big bad world of writerhood. And that’s how I found myself on a path that would take me to Stonecoast and onto a place where I could live with the voices inside my head without having to worry about people.

How did you decide to pursue the path you’re on? Did you always know you wanted to do it or did it spring itself on you? Tell me your story in the comments or on my social media pages!

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