Randomness

So Tired

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this lovely Wednesday? Things are fine here. Lazy. I’m ahead on reading and keeping up with slushing duties, though. But I’m tired all of the time. Until it’s time to sleep. Then, I’m wide awake for hours. It’s annoying really. And I’ve tried so many things to make it easier to sleep, but nothing really helps. I know all the tips about caffeine and screens and all of that, but I’m not that desperate. There are things I do to keep myself occupied while laying in the dark. Not that, you perv. And they usually help. I’m rarely awake until dawn anymore. I’m usually asleep by 4:30 at the latest (and considering I’m in bed between 2:00 and 2:30, that’s only 2ish hours). I do wake up 3 or 4 times after that, but I’m usually back asleep within half an hour. Anyway, I thought I’d ramble about my sleep tricks.

1. Story telling. If I’m at that point where I’m thinking about everything that’s going wrong in the world or fixating on bad memories, I try to tell myself stories. I can usually find a story to focus on just enough to interrupt my fixations. But lately, I’ve been having trouble even finding an idea that holds my attention for more than one night. I used to be able to slip back into the same story and either retell it or build on it for weeks (if not months). Nothing good or worth writing down. Just stupid self-insertion type stories. But entertaining enough to lull me to sleep eventually.

2. Multiplication tables. Do kids even learn these anymore or did that new math do away with them? If I’m slightly drowsy, but still getting distracted by negative thoughts, I’ll do these. Sometimes, it’s just 1s-10s, but I go all the way up to 25s occasionally. I’ve only made it all the way to 25×25 twice without falling asleep first. Usually, I make it into the 16s. But yeah, math makes me sleepy apparently.

3. The alphabet game thingie. That game from when we were kids where you would pick a topic (names, foods, whatever) and go around in a circle like “A… apple” and the next kid would do “B… banana” and whoever couldn’t think of something got mocked for the rest of the day? I do that by myself, but with band names. And I pick a song by the band to listen to before I move on to the next letter. For A, I’ve been flipping between Adele and Apocalyptica. But I at least try to mix up the songs a bit. The farthest I’ve gotten before falling asleep is S. But it’s fun and doesn’t require much attention, so I do it when my brain is especially bouncy.

So, now you know what I do in bed. It’s not especially exciting, is it? What about you? Do you have any tricks that help you fall asleep? As always, feel free to leave your questions or thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages! Hopefully, next week will be more exciting. Doubtfully, but we can hope.

Working Hard? Hardly Working.

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this week? Enjoying your September and pumpkin spice? It’s still in the 90s here, so I have no interest in autumn drinks yet. But it’s time for the last ‘get to know me’ post unless someone picks another prompt or I decide to cheat and pick one myself next week. I might even look for new lists like this. I saw one about books the other day. Maybe I’ll hunt that one down for October or November. It’s just so much easier to write a post from a prompt. Anyway, if you’ve been following along, you’ll know that we’ve covered 47, 13, 43, 33, and 11. Today, Jen chose 27. The prompt is ‘work from home or office culture.’ I have no office experience, but I’ll try to think of something to say.

The list one last time.

I’ve never really thought about office culture before. If I compare it to college, I probably wouldn’t mind it. Being in a company where I’m doing my own assignment/job and mostly interacting with co-workers in need be or even semi-social situations doesn’t sound entirely horrible. Now, if it’s a group project, hell no. I hated them in school and would hate them at work. I was usually the one doing most of the work because I valued my grades. Put a paycheck on the line and I’d end up doing all of the work. No thanks. But yeah… as long as I could keep my head down and do my own work, I wouldn’t be opposed to a mundane office job. Pre-plague anyway. I wouldn’t want one now.

Working from home is fine. It’d be easier on me because my computer and everything is already set up for me. Being able to do things via email instead of face to face is divine. I would hate it if I was required to make phone calls. And random Zoom meetings would be horrible. But working from home sounds like a better choice overall. Which is why writing seemed like a good fit for me. I do the bulk of things on my own and (so far) everything else is done through emails and submission portals. No one has to hear my voice and that makes me very happy.

It’s me! And video calls are worse.

However, working implies that I get paid regularly, which I don’t. So, I can’t really tell you which of these scenarios I would prefer. I have to be super careful about any paying job I get because I have to worry about losing my benefits. It’s a whole thing. I mean, they took away my SSI and made me apply for a different version of Medicaid because the government started paying me a whole $12 extra a month which put me above the SSI cutoff. Not that anyone could actually live on what the government gives me. But I require Medicaid in order to survive, so my options are get a super high paying job with excellent benefits even though I have zero work experience, marry a multimillionaire and hope the prenup gives me a few million to live on just in case, or stay poor. So, yeah. Easy-peasy, right?

There you go. I’m not opposed to office work, but work from home sounds much better. What about you? Are you an office minion or do you prefer doing your work in your underwear? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions here or on my social media pages!

I’m Not Stylish

~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing today? I’m currently feeling better. It’s been a little up and down since I started the antibiotics for my sinus infection, but I feel better than I have in a while, so fingers crossed. The pain is way down and the pressure is fading, but my mucus is clouding up again. We’ll see how goes. But let’s get back to the ‘about me’ thing we’ve been doing. I’ve done numbers 47 (you can find the list of prompts in that post), 13, 43, and 33. Number 27 will be the last one unless someone picks another number. Today, I’ll be answering number 11 for Danielle! The prompt is: favorite style of clothing.

Are we talking about clothes I wear or just clothes I like to look at? I’m pretty sure I recently did a post about pretty clothes I like to look at. Yup, here it is. As far as what I actually wear goes… jeans and shirts. In the summer, I mostly wear cut off jeans (jorts if you’re into portmanteaus) and t-shirts. It’s the easiest stuff to get on and pretty much the only stuff that doesn’t look completely stupid on me. I have to wear tops larger than I actually need so they will have enough give to get over my arms (they don’t move much, so the shirt has to stretch). T-shirts look fine no matter how big they are (to a point past what I need anyway… I wear XL, but 2XL looks mostly fine, and 3XL starts looking wonky). Fancy blouses, not so much.

I also occasionally wear dresses during the summer. If we’re going somewhere. So, I haven’t worn one since at least 2019 thanks to the plague. Most of my dresses came from Earthbound Trading Company and have that stretchy crinkle top that flares out into a skirt. They look okay. I also have a dress I got from Scarborough Faire that I actually kind of like. I like all of my dresses. I mean that I like it on me. My closet needs to be cleaned out, though. I never wear any of my skirts or stuff like that.

It’s far too hard to find a picture of me in a dress, so here’s one from when I was young and brave/stupid and went to clubs. And (holy crap) I actually kinda believe I look attractive in this pic.

In winter, I switch to jeans and long sleeve shirts, most of which are henleys. Same reason as why I wear mostly t-shirts. Easy to get on and look acceptable in larger sizes. Plus, most of my winter shirts are warm and snuggly. That’s about it. I do have a handful of sweaters, but I should probably replace most of them. I only really like two of them, but one is old and a little tight and the other looks plain. The plain one is great and cuddly, but I really only wear sweaters when we’re going somewhere nice. I’m not really sure it counts for that. Also, my sweaters are in women’s sizes, so they’re smaller than most of my tops. I usually buy unisex/men’s sizes since they’re about half a size larger.

But mostly, I like shoes. At home I’m almost always barefoot or wearing fluffies (slippers). But I love my Converse. I have a black pair and a white pair with shiny rainbow stars. I switch between those and flip flops or sandals in summer. In winter, I tend to wear boots if we go somewhere. I love my biker boots that I bought when I was sixteen or seventeen. My other favorite boots are a bronze pair I got a few years ago. Only got to wear them twice before the plague ruined everything. It’s been so long since I’ve worn any of my other shoes that I can’t remember which ones I still have. Oops.

And that’s enough rambling about clothes. I love lots of styles, but this is what I wear. Sorry for rambling and not actually saying anything interesting. Gold star to anyone who makes it this far! As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions here or on my social media pages.

Sick Day

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello. I woke up with raging pain and pressure from a sinus infection. The symptoms have been there for a while, but I put off calling the doctor in case she wanted to see me. But I called her today and asked for some meds, which she’s supposed to call in for me (huzzah for not having to make an appointment yet!). In the meantime, I took some aspirin and Benadryl. The pain is just pressure now and my nose has stopped dripping thick yellow mucus, but I’m woozy and can barely focus. I’ll resume my posts next week. See you then!

Gotta Get Outta This Place

~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone today? As I’m typing this (Tuesday afternoon/evening), it’s kind of dreary and the sky spit on us for the first time in a while today. Not much, but at least the ground got wet. Anyway, it’s time for another ‘get to know me’ answer post. This week, we have the number 33 for the lovely Alena. I’ve already done 47 (you can find the list of prompts in that post), 13, and 43. I still have 11 and 27 to go. Feel free to pick another prompt or number between 1 and 50 and I’ll add it to the list. Today’s prompt is “which country do you wish to travel to?”.

Not really.

When I was younger, this would’ve been an easy question. Japan. It’s always been the place I wanted to go to the most in the world. I mentioned I was a weeb in the last post, so this should come as no surprise. Aside from anime and manga, I love the music and the food looks amazing and I’m interested in the culture and all of it. So, of course I want to go there. It’s still in my top three places to go, but slow boats are expensive and I have to worry about accessibility and finding places that meet my needs and all of that crap, so travel in general is difficult. Plus, as I’ve grown, I’ve realized there are so many other places I want to go to as well.

Like England or Ireland or Scotland. All three if we ever actually made it that far. Plus other places. Go big before we go home. We watch far too many British cozies and occasionally find Irish and Scottish shows as well, so they’ve piqued our interests. Mostly the ones with the really nice scenery. Plus, I’ve seen the giant butt plug shaped building in London enough on TV that I kind of want to see it in real life. I don’t understand some of the architectural decisions over there. They had to have seen it in the design phase. Someone had to have pointed it out. But it would be nice to explore the more scenic parts of these places.

It’s called the Gherkin, but it’s obvious what it is.

Australia would be fun too. It seems like a gorgeous place and has amazing animals (flying foxes and wombats!). I guess I don’t really need an excuse to want to go places. Just a desire to go. Australia is one of those places. No idea why I want to go. It just seems like a good idea.

But, like I said, traveling is hard. I can’t fly. Technically, I suppose I’d have to talk to my pulmonologist now that I’m on the vent, but I was told a long time ago not to do it. Even if my lungs could handle it though, I still can’t because in order for cripples to fly, they have to transfer you out of your wheelchair and put it in with the cargo. That’s a big nope. And the horror stories about broken wheelchairs at the other end of flights… no, thanks. So, flying is out. Maybe one day I’ll be rich enough to afford a cruise somewhere nice, but for now, I’ll just dream about it.

Wombat! Look at it! It poops cubes.

Plus, there’s a plague, so I’m not leaving the house anyway. As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions here or on my social media page! See you next week for more randomness.

Cool Beans, Bruh!

~ shawnaborman ~ 3 Comments

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this bright and beautiful first Wednesday of August? Why is it August already? I guess that just means there’s only two months of summer left in Texas. If we’re lucky. But anyway! Things here are okay. Still puttering along. If you stalk me, you know all about the ‘getting to know me’ thing I’m doing right now. You can find the list of prompts here. There are still plenty to choose from if you want or you can randomly pick a number between 1 and 50. I’ve already done 47 and 13. Today is 43. And 33, 11, and 27 will get us through August. Today’s prompt is courtesy of Heather Vendetti and asks what outdated slang I still use. This is probably going to get cringe. You’ve been warned.

As many of you are aware, I spent far too much time in the Yahoo chatrooms, which is where a lot of my slang comes from. I still use rawr way too often and shmexy. I don’t use it (I don’t actually remember ever using it. I received it a lot though), but every time I see ASL, my mind immediately translates it to age/sex/location and it gets very confusing for a minute. Ttyl and ttfn were also big in my vocabulary back then and still pop up occasionally. Oh! And I still use kthxbai, but it’s almost always sarcastically. Also, it’s not slang, but I never really made the transition to proper emojis. I still use XD and >___> and </3 and the like when I feel the need to use them. Mostly because I’m too lazy to switch keyboards on my phone. Yes, I’m that lazy.

The Interwebz influenced my slang in more ways than one. Since most of my friends were spread all over, I picked up sayings from them that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Cool beans and awesomesauce are still used regularly. I also have a tendency to add -ness to the end of words for no real reason other than it’s a habit I picked up from friends. Evilness is a word I use daily. I rarely use it, but Jen got “holey cheese and crackers” into my vocabulary. Cheeky bugger and cheeky minx still pop out once in a while even though I haven’t talked to the English Muffin (yeah, it was a stupid nickname) in over ten years. Friends make things weird.

Me on Facebook (jokingly): Okay, Zoomer. O____o I still say shmexy and rawr. Don’t shame my generation’s slang and I won’t tell you how much of a douchenozzle your slang makes you sound like. >___> Kthxbai. XD

And then there’s kawaii and adding -chan/san/kun to people’s names because I was kind of a weeb and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I still use kawaii and there are a couple of people I still call -chan, but I’ve mostly mellowed out when it comes to weeb stuff. I’ve learned to appreciate Japanese cultural rather than being an obsessive creeper about it. Oh, hey! Creeper. Definitely still one of my favorite words. And douchenozzle. I’m starting to think I use too much slang.

It’s also fun to use random slang from forever ago whenever I think about it. Poppycock is a nice one. Twitterpated. Hornswoggled. Weird old words are just fun to say.

But now, it’s time to say later days (can’t forget that one) because I’m hungry and can’t think of any more stupid things to say. As always, feel free to share your comments and questions here or on my social media pages!

Worrisome Worries

~ shawnaborman ~ 4 Comments

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this week? It’s a little toasty here in Texas. That’s about it. Got our second Covid boosters yesterday (today as I’m writing this), so if the past is any indication, I’ll probably be feeling a little blah today (tomorrow?). Hope not. Anyway, if you remember last week’s post, you’ll know that I’m doing a ‘get to know me’ thing. You can look at the questions here or you can randomly pick a number between 1 and 50. Last week was 47. This week is 13. And numbers 43, 33, 11, and 27 will get us through August. This week’s pick is courtesy of Jen and it’s an annoying one (which she will be super pleased about). The prompt is “thing(s) you’re worried about”. Ugh.

Everything? Is that an appropriate answer? I’m worried the world is collapsing. The U.S. certainly is. You can’t leave the house without worrying about a deadly virus and all its little mutations (well, I can’t. Other people don’t give a flip and just go around mouth-breathing on whoever they want. Asshats). Can’t even leave the house without worrying about being shot, whether it’s road rage or mass shootings or whatever. It’s insane. And during all of this shit, women are being denied safe access to healthcare. Don’t bother coming at me with your baby killer arguments. I’m not even talking about women who choose to abort pregnancies. I’m talking about women being forced to carry dying/dead fetuses because they aren’t allowed to have an abortion. I’m talking about women getting sick and potentially dying because their body doesn’t evacuate everything and they need the help of an abortion to clean things out. Abortions aren’t just about killing babies. The procedure is a treatment for many things. But the pro-lifers don’t think about anything like that. And it’s absolutely terrifying that politicians are making these decisions instead of doctors and their patients. That’s a slippery slope. The government already tries to tell me what kind of medical equipment I don’t need. Everything is a fight. Pretty soon, they’ll just start saying no to everyone who’s not rich enough to line their coffers.

And that’s just a tiny helping of the rational things I’m worried about. I have a tendency to take every scenario to a worst-case one. Even just sitting around the house, I worry about stupid things like sink holes and drunk drivers (even though it would be super hard for any vehicle to come crashing into our house) and planes falling from the sky and fire (I especially worry about that one at night) and power outages (again, more a night time fear). The list goes on forever. It’s disturbing how much I worry about things, usually stupid things. But I can’t stop.

None of that even touches on my personal worries. Like, what do I do when Dad drops dead? What does he do when I drop dead? Yes, we have plans in place, but I still worry. What if I’m alone forever? What if I actually find someone (which is even more scary than being alone)? What if I never succeed at anything ever again? School didn’t adequately prepare me for failure in my career choice. Why am I so horrible at being a person? I suck at maintaining relationships. I’m not good at speaking. I cry when I’m angry. Why am I such a mess? In other words, I worry about everything.

I think I should probably stop rambling and shove all of this back down into the deepest recesses of my soul where it belongs. Deep breaths. Force the smile until it becomes natural. There we go. Next week is book review time! These posts will start up again the week after. As always, feel free to leave a comment or question here or on my social media pages! And pick a number if you want. Jen picked two, so I guess I won’t count multiple choices as cheating.

Grossest Food

~ shawnaborman ~ 5 Comments

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this bright and beautiful day? It’s been 100+ degrees here for a while now, so it’s been a little toasty. Nothing much to report. I’m looking at some smaller/independent publishers to submit DS1 to since I haven’t heard back from the ones I’ve submitted to thus far. And I’ve been reading a lot. I’m boring, I know. Anyway, I came across this ‘get to know me’ thing that I posted on Facebook for fun about a year ago. I decided to recycle it and asked people to blindly pick a number between 1 and 50. My friend Kyle chose 47 and Jen picked 13 (which will be next week’s post). The first picture is the post with the questions. Feel free to choose a number and I’ll use the prompt for the next available post.

So, 47 is the grossest food you ever had. This is a tough one. I don’t generally have a strong dislike toward food. I either like it or it’s just meh. That being said, the most horrible thing I’ve ever had in my mouth was a rotten oyster. Don’t get me wrong, I love oysters on the half shell. But one of the last times Dad and I went to Red Lobster, there was something seriously wrong with them. Dad gave me one, which I immediately spit out, then ate one himself (he didn’t spit because he’s a lady like that, I guess). There was a definite sewage taste to them. Blargh. Inedible. Then, the manager dude was a patronizing dipwad, so that made the whole experience worse. I can’t remember if that was the last time we went to Red Lobster or if we just avoided the oysters after that. But neither of us got sick, so yay?

Another thing I remember strongly disliking was uni (sea urchin). I don’t think it was rotten or anything, but it had a very strong kind of muddy sea taste that was unappealing. Granted, we tried it at sushi place nearby, so it wasn’t the freshest specimen. We’re landlocked, so seafood is not a plentiful thing here and fresh (never been frozen) seafood isn’t really a thing at all. In other words, I would give sea urchin another shot if we were by the sea.

Oh! Tahini. The first thing you have to understand is that I trust my dad way too much when it comes to food. So much so that when he puts a spoonful of something in my face, I taste it without question. Rarely do I regret this reflex. But with tahini, I did. And he knew exactly what he was doing because he had tasted it first (I wasn’t around so I didn’t see his reaction). It was super bitter and awful. I don’t know if it was just the brand we got or what, but no. Just no. If someone who knew about tahini recommended a specific brand or whatever and a recipe called for it, we’d probably try it again (it was just for a sauce for something Dad made once). But just going to Tom Thumb and just grabbing whatever they have on the shelf? No thank you.

The one we had was thicker, but I can’t remember the brand.

I’m sure there are other things I really don’t like, but nothing is coming to mind. I was raised to try everything once. It was pretty much the only food related rule in our house. And it’s also the reason I’m usually willing to try things more than once if I haven’t eaten them in a while. Tastes change. Food is fun. What are some of the grossest things you’ve eaten? Was it something you’d be willing to try again under different circumstances? As always, feel free to share your comments or questions here or on my social media pages! And pick a number from above if you want!

Third Annual Reminder of Disability Pride Month

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this week? It’s July, so I thought I’d remind everyone that Disability Pride Month is a thing. It seems to be one of the less controversial Pride/History months (probably because the media and marketing people haven’t taken it over and shoved it down everyone’s throats yet). So, I’ll keep reminding you that it exists. That cripple folk exist and not just for the sake of inspiration porn. But I don’t feel like being a downer or preachy, so I’m just going to leave you with a list of some of my favorite cripple characters!

A new flag!

1. Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist. Sure, he has prosthetic limbs (an arm and a leg), but that’s just part of life. When they work, they’re awesome. And when they need adjustments or Ed breaks them, well… Winry’s rarely too far away to fix them. How Ed loses his limbs is a big part of the story (forbidden alchemy), but then his disability isn’t too huge of a deal (though there are parts when he struggles with it, just like real life). He’s got a temper, hates being called short, and is underestimated at every turn. But he’d do anything for his family and he’s kind of a dramatic little bitch, so I love him.

2. Pick a Marvel or DC character and there’s probably some kind of disability in their story at some point. Deadpool is all kinds of disabled (physical disfigurement and PTSD to name a couple). Ironman has his heart thing. Hawkeye is mostly deaf. The X-Men are made up of people with genetic deviations. Barbara Gordon is paralyzed from the waist down and copes with depression. Daredevil is blind. The list goes on and on.

3. Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. But he’s a dragon! Fine… be boring. Hiccup is cripple too, so if you insist on human characters, there you go. Toothless is adorable and ends up trusting his human so much. It’s cute. Don’t judge me.

I’m going to stop there. Mostly because I’m too tired to find pictures of any of the others. I started this post late and am lazy. Anyway, who are some of your favorite disabled characters? Who are some that you suspect are disabled (differently abled), but it’s never actually confirmed in canon material? Feel free to share them here or on my social media pages!

Dad Appreciation Day

~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing this week? Things here are quiet. Spent most of last week vegging and watching TV with Dad. He wasn’t feeling too well. We think it was just an inner ear infection. He’s mostly better now, so huzzah! Anyway, Sunday was Fathers’ Day and his birthday is July 18th (a Monday), so I figured I’d write a short post to say “I appreciate you!” As he knows, I’m bad at this. Please excuse the awkwardness.

As most of you know, I am my dad’s daughter. I get my inappropriate sense of humor from him. He’s the one who taught me that pretty much anything can be turned into something dirty. You can also blame him for the puns. So many puns. And he’s the reason I got into horror. He gave me Stephen King books when I was like 12 or 13, including The Stand (uncut). Is it any wonder I turned into a weirdo? But he loves me anyway.

And, of course, I have to mention the food. He’s the bestest cook ever. The pastrami and pulled pork and brisket. Mmm… there’s also the rare lasagna when he makes sauce from scratch and has the rest of the ingredients. Or baked ziti. And there are pots of beans with meat and he puts them on corn chips with a little crema agria and cheese on top. Can’t forget breakfast. Home fries with bacon. Sausage gravy and biscuits. Chorizo nachos. Everything with two eggs on top. Be jealous. It’s okay.

An old picture from Stonecoast because we obviously don’t take many.

He also takes care of me 100% of the time, even when he doesn’t feel well. So… I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you and appreciate you, Dad!