Murphy’s Law for Cripples

Howdy, howdy.  Yesterday (actually, it’s today as I’m writing this) was (is?) one of those days.  It’s always nice to wake up to one of your key pieces of machinery (naturally one of the few you don’t have a good spare for) being dead (again).  Yes, the hydraulics on my patient lift (the thing that transfers me from bed to chair, etc.) decided it would be fun to go out in the middle of the night.  I was stuck in bed until 4:00, 4:30, which didn’t really bother me aside from zapping any desire to be productive.  And surprisingly, the medical equipment company sent someone out to look at it right away.

Life rises to the challenge.  Always.


Bad news!  The hydraulic pump is dead (you don’t say?!).  I’ve had this particular lift less than four years and this is the third or fourth time they’ve had to replace the pump.  Normally, it gives us a little warning before performing a dramatic death scene, so we have time to fix it, but not this time.  Granted, I’d lost complete faith in this piece of equipment long ago (after all, at least two of the replacement pumps had the following sticker on them, so trust is an issue), but I have no choice except to use it (it’s like my relationship with elevators: hate/no choice).  Yeah.

Front.  They couldn’t spell front.  How can I trust a company that can’t spell FRONT?


So, I was stuck in bed trying not to go down that “every bad outcome of this scenario” rabbit hole, and succeeding quite well with not panicking, when the “good” news came.  They (the medical company) had a spare that we can borrow until mine gets fixed or replaced.  The problem?  It’s electric, so it’s not great for me in the first place.  Plus there’re weird boxes that get in the way of my feet.  And I’ve never used one before, so it’s a little terrifying.  When I get nervous, I ask stupid questions and point out obvious problems and all of that, which annoys the person taking care of me (namely Dad) because he’s also trying to figure out how to make it work, which makes him snappy.  On top of everything else, we were both a little hangry.  Needless to say, issues arose.

But, I made it to my chair (which has also been acting up) without getting anything broken.  I tried to figure out some Medicare problems I’ve been having.  Then I wrote this.  I’m officially done with today (yesterday as you’re reading this).

So done.


So, what does all of this mean?  Absolutely nothing.  I needed to rant and I needed a blog topic.  You can take it as a glance into cripple problems if you want.  Feel free to send me a rant since you’ve made it this far!  I’ll gladly listen to your woes since you paid attention to mine.  Fingers crossed tomorrow is better.  Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Irrational Fears

Hello, hello!  Happy New Year!  Is it everything you were hoping for thus far?  Mine’s been pretty peaceful, which is why I’m not entirely sure why I’m being plagued by irrational fears.  You know, when you get that weight right in the center of your chest?  That trembly feeling that invades every waking moment?  At least until the cause passes, then you’re fine?  Yeah, it’s been like that for the past few days.  I just don’t know the reason this time.

Seems legit.


Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of odd fears, but I usually know what triggers them.  I’m not fond of things suspended in the air (bridges, elevators, and the like).  That’s probably because of recurring nightmares of driving off a bridge into the river below.  I also fear being around grabby people (I blame doctors and nurses who don’t ask before they attempt to move my arms and legs, which results in pain or worse).  Needles.  Large dogs (another recurring nightmare).  Storms.  The doorbell or someone knocking on the door (no idea why on this one).  The list goes on.

I even get a minor case of the terrors when we’re going somewhere where I’m not familiar with the roads.  Bumpy roads are a pain (literally), so of course my mind fills with visions of potholes and speed bumps and unkempt dirt roads the whole way to our destination (and that’s not including the surprise jolts of adrenalin brought about by Texas drivers).  That’s just the way my mind works.  Thankfully, however, Google street view has helped with this particular fear a lot.

I guess “drive friendly” means try your damnedest to get your car to kiss another one in the most violent way possible.


But none of that explains the weight and trembles I’ve felt the last few days.  The only things I can think of in the near future are a trip to the DMV (I’ve already looked at the roads), my birthday (they’ve never bothered me before), and an event at a hospital (I’ve been there before).  Who knows?  Maybe I’m just freaking out because I’m feeling a little lost.  Maybe it’s something I’m just not thinking of.  Maybe I’ll never know what it is and it’ll fade away as mysteriously as it came on.  Fear can be a funny beast that way.

Still haven’t seen this, but he seemed appropriate.


Anyway, this has been a glimpse into my paranoid mind.  I suppose it’s good practice, looking at some of the minor fears that can weigh on people.  They’re potential character traits.  Someone who faints every time the doorbell rings?  I could write that.  How about you?  Any fears that you feel silly for having?  What about the ones that terrify you?  Feel free to share some here or on Facebook or Twitter or G+.

I’m not sure what to post about next week, so feel free to send me some ideas or questions.  Have a wonderful week!