All The Small Things

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing? August is on the wane. Next week is the monthly book review. Can you believe it? I have no idea where the time is going. But I do know that I’ve been feeling annoyed and angry and just generally blah. It happens every August. I don’t really know why. I mean, I’m annoyed most of the time, but I can usually pinpoint the reason. In August, I can rarely figure out why things get to me. I’m just irrationally upset a lot of the time. So, I’ve decided to try that self-help crap of writing about a few good things to try to improve my mood. I’m not doing it every day. Not that desperate. But here are some things that make me stupidly happy.

Watch it. You know you want to.

1. Daniel Radcliffe as a preacher doing the campiest drag rendition of She’ll Be Coming ‘Round The Mountain When She Comes that you will ever see. It’s from Miracle Workers: Oregon Trail. I cannot share this enough. I knew Harry Potter had a secret side, but this is just glorious. Watch it and you too can be stupidly happy for a minute and a half. If you haven’t seen it, you’re welcome.

2. Any book that mentions alcohol describes that slow burn as it travels down the throat, but what about when you’re drinking something icy cold? Like when you’re warm, verging on uncomfortable, and you take a long drink of something super cold. The iciness travels down your throat and blooms across your chest and you keep drinking and it gets colder until it’s almost unbearable. Then you stop and it’s gone. No? Just me? Well, that feeling makes me happy.

Enema of the State

3. Singing along to stupid pop-punk songs as loud as they’ll go. I haven’t really been in the mood for loud music the past couple of weeks, but when I do crank it up, it’s been for bands like Blink-182, Eve 6, and Lit. How can I not be momentarily happy when singing All the Small Things or Jet Pack or Zip-Lock. Yeah, yeah. A lot of those types of songs are immature and crappy, but they’re fun. Judge me all you want. My music tastes range from wtf? to awesome. It’s just the way I am.

4. The different shades of coffee. I don’t drink it too often because I like sleep, but I enjoy looking at it and how it changes colors as cream is added. The way the coffee and cream swirl together to form strange little galaxies in the cup. I mostly have to watch it in GIFs or whatever, since my thermos isn’t clear, but it’s still cool. One of those weird tiny pleasures in life. Except now I feel stupid for even sharing it. Whatever.

5. Looking at houses that cost millions of dollars and totally judging the owners’ interior design preferences. So much zebra print. And the higher the price, the more gaudy gold cherubs. It’s creepy. And they either paint all of the walls white or super dark jewel tones. There’s no in between. But there are occasionally really beautiful places with gardens and lots of wood in the house and fireplace mantles that aren’t monstrosities. I know. You’re not supposed to judge people and all that crap, but I do. And I enjoy it. It’s not my fault so many rich people have bad taste. But I normally keep my thoughts to myself or between myself and a few people who understand.

Now you know some weird little things that make me happy. What are some things that make you happy while the world is burning? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or comments or questions or whatever here or on my social media pages!

Writing Challenge Q&A: First Love

Hello once again!  It’s time for the next installment of the impromptu Q&A.  This week’s topic is brought to you by my Minion (Joel Rede).  He chose 19, which is “discuss your first love.”  Why the Minion is interested in my lack of a love life is beyond me, but whatever.  This is actually something I don’t really talk about with anyone, so forgive me if it gets a little weird.

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Replace the house thing with Interwebz stalking.  Also, it’s always creepy .  But you accepted that.

So, what exactly is a first love?  I could tell you about my first crush, or the first boy I loved like a sibling, or I could simply say I’ve never had one because I’ve never dated anyone.  All of those stories would be true, but at the same time, they’d be a lie.  I think first love is something we have to identify for ourselves.  Each of our experiences are different.  Some first loves are amazing and some are heartbreaking.  Then, there’s the kind that’s neither breathtakingly beautiful nor Earth-shatteringly horrible, it simply is what it is.  That’s the way mine was.

Don’t get me wrong, my first love was a lot of things.  It was unconventional (back before “we met online” became an acceptable meet-cute outside of the nerd circle).  It was terrifying.  It was beautiful in its own way.  And, ultimately, it was probably unrequited.  But I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, because it was exactly what I needed at the time.

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When I met First Love (the person), I was eighteen, maybe nineteen.  I was hanging out in the Yahoo chatrooms when I spotted a screenname that intrigued me.  After a few minutes of stalking him, I got bored, pounced on him, and stole his boxers (it was this whole running joke between my friends and I back then, don’t ask).  We goofed around and talked in the chatroom for a while, then he eventually PMed me and the rest was history as they say.

Back then, I was in a really dark place.  First Love was the first person I felt comfortable enough showing the darkness to and he accepted it.  He never tried to tell me I shouldn’t be having those thoughts or feelings.  He didn’t try to change me.  He simply supported me when I needed it and talked me through things when I needed a dialogue.  It was terrifying, because he was the first person to see all the parts of myself that I hate and claim to love me for it.  Even when I pushed away, he was there.  Granted, he lives in the UK, so I never had to deal with any of those “let’s meet” conversations (which I probably would’ve shut down right away), but for many years, he was there just to talk to and be sweet talked by.  Like I said, it was what I needed at the time.

Not to mention his influence on my music tastes and the like.  I was mostly punk and metal before First Love came around.  Ugh.  The things we do for love.  But, eventually life started getting in the way.  We both had University (his word, not mine).  Our chances to talk faded away.  I’m glad I got to know him, but I’m happy he got a life outside of the Interwebz.  He deserves so much better than talking to me all the time.

Feel free to discuss your first love!  You know where to find me.