Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this fine Wednesday? Things are going okay here. I recently crossed the 10,000 words mark on the current novel attempt. I’m still writing at least a little every day. Meeting my goals. Fingers crossed I can keep it up. But anyway! Today, we’re doing another number thing. The lovely Melinda chose number 11. I’ve done 13 (you can find the prompt list there), 7, 2, 8, 3, 10, 6, and 14. Only have number 1 left for February first unless someone wants to pick one of the remaining prompts. Feel free. This week’s prompt is “Tell me which book is the best to read while curled up in bed.” Uh, wait…
I was going to say that I don’t read in bed, but that’s not entirely true. There are times when I can’t sleep that I get Alexa to read to me. I’m too cheap to buy audiobooks, mostly because I prefer to actually read things (I just don’t retain things as well when I only hear them). But most Kindle books have an accessibility feature that lets Alexa devices read them aloud. It’s not perfect and she can’t read words different ways based on context (for example, tear is always pronounced like a rip even though it should be an eye raindrop), but it works well enough for the amount I use it.
Like I said, I can’t retain details well by just hearing them. I’m very much a visual learner. Show me something once and I’ve got it. Write the instructions down and I can figure it out. Tell me how to do it without the thing right in front of me and expect me to do it later… nah. I get distracted too easily without something to focus my eyes on. So, the only times I really listen to books in bed is when I’m close to some kind of action and super into it so I know I’ll focus OR when I’m annoyed/bored with a book and don’t want to waste time reading it but also don’t want to give it up. It’s usually the latter.
The latest book I read in bed was Lord of Silver Ashes by Kellen Graves. I bought the first book of the series without realizing it was self-published (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I usually do a quality check before I buy self-published things). The story was fun and I liked the characters, but the editing was absolute shit (and yes, they claimed they had an editor). So many continuity errors and typos and the em dashes… just stop. But I decided to give the second book a shot because I liked the premise. I shouldn’t have. It was even worse with glaring continuity errors that made the big reveals absolutely useless. Like… we knew that in the last book so why are you freaking out now? Anyway, I gave up half through and had Alexa read it to me. It helped make it more enjoyable not having to see all the errors, so I might try book three when it comes out. I’m invested and kind of a masochist, I guess. Blargh.
I also vaguely remember A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke. It wasn’t bad, but there were so many words. It was dense and slow and I was only reading it for one of those stupid Kindle reading challenges, so I gave up a few chapters in and let Alexa read the rest a couple of chapters at a time when I couldn’t sleep. I admit it’s a good way to get sleepy. Listening to boring books.
So, I guess I do read in bed, but it’s usually because I’m not enjoying something about a book. Is that weird? What do you read in bed? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or questions here or on my social media pages!
Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone’s Wednesday going? Things are fine here. It’s that time of year again where I’m supposedly getting older. Tomorrow (the 12th) is my birthday. Probably just going to order Greek for dinner and spend the day writing. Unless I use it as an easy day and just goof around. Haven’t decided yet. Anyway, I’m skipping the book number thing this week in favor of a random about me thing. I don’t know why I started doing this. It takes forever. But whatever. I’m 37, so here are 37 random things about me.
Tomorrow, anyway.
1. I’ve written creative words every day this year. A whole 10 days. I’m trying to stick to a schedule where on Sunday, Tuesday (or whatever day I write my blog post that week), and a lazy day of my choice, I write 100 words on the current novel attempt. The other four days, I’m aiming for 1,000 words. At least until I finish a first draft (the goal is approximately 90,000 words for this one). It’s basically my old schedule, but with no zero word days because it’s too easy to talk myself into quitting right now if I don’t write words. So far, so good.
2. I haven’t gone anywhere (where I left the van) aside from yearly doctor appointments and a couple of trips to a hardware store that’s usually empty since Covid started. I’m mostly okay with this.
3. I do miss going to restaurants and the occasional concert, but that’s about it.
4. Telehealth visits are wonderful. It means we don’t have to drive all the way to UT Southwestern just to wait 45 minutes for a five minute chat. I like my doctor there and wouldn’t mind meeting her face-to-face (we haven’t because my old pulmonologist retired after Covid started, so computer visits were already a thing when she took over), but I like not having to leave the house too.
5. I’ve become fond rye and ginger beer.
6. Kraken rum and Pepsi is pretty good too.
7. I’m not a sot. I swear. I have a drink maybe once a week.
8. I still have most of my Kah reposado and Republic anejo tequilas. Mostly because I don’t have anyone to sit around and sip booze with once in a while, but whatever. If I were a tosspot, they would be gone.
9. It’s that time of year where I panic because I have a scratchy throat (Flu! Covid! Dying!) only to remember that it’s Mountain Cedar season, so my options are living with a scratchy throat/excess mucus/sinus headache or live in a Benadryl/Zyrtec haze for the next couple of months if things get unbearable. This is just my life now.
10. I despise ordering groceries from Kroger. There’s almost always some kind of glitch on their website. They never tell you what’s out of stock until it’s too late to modify the order. Canceling orders is ridiculous and there’s a 50/50 chance it’ll still show up. Plus, most of the time, they don’t have a previously ordered section to make life easier.
11. Walmart is better, but the few times we’ve ordered dairy or produce through them, it went bad within a few days despite the best by dates being reasonably far away. It’s weird.
12. Amazon Fresh is pretty good, but they have the worst meat selection. The diversity of the selection is good, but they only sell them in one pound portions most of the time. We can’t survive on that.
13. Tom Thumb is our go to, but only because Dad can call them up and they usually fix things. Usually.
14. I’m already running out of things to say about myself in case the ordering groceries mini rant didn’t make it obvious. Talking about myself is hard.
15. I’m great at bottling everything up, but expressing feelings and shit is hard. I keep my responses to everything (good or bad) moderate and I don’t know how to fix it. How do I show excitement or happiness? The anger and rage can stay in the box in the abyss of my soul, but I would like to become better at expressing the good stuff.
16. I’m not a physically affectionate person. At all. I can’t be. It’s not like I can randomly hug people or whatever. And I have a super hard time asking for things that I actually need to survive and/or be comfortable (the whole burden mentality is a bitch to outgrow), so I just can’t see myself ever asking for cuddles or whatever. I don’t know how to fix this either.
17. And now I’m super uncomfortable with the last two shares, but it’s getting late and I still have too many to go, so I guess I’ll leave them.
18. Despite my aversion to being touched (one reason I’m not affectionate), one of my favorite A-Kon (anime convention) memories is of the dude who rubbed all up on me in the Sheraton bar. He asked if he could love on me and then massaged my arms and knees while whispering sweet nothings at me. He asked if I was okay with what was happening every time he switched hand placement. I’ve never felt more comfortable with a stranger touching me. It was weird and innocent and amusing. And I still randomly think of him and hope he’s doing well.
19. I also randomly think of the dude and his friend who gave me a lap dance at Lazerz when I was like 20. That was strange and not something I would let happen now, but I was young and stupid and didn’t really care about being touched as long as something pretty was dancing for me.
20. I know I shouldn’t objectify people, but I can’t help it. I enjoy eye candy. I’m not a dick about it. It’s not like I catcall people on the street or harass them online. I appreciate from afar and mind my manners.
21. I don’t understand expensive coffee. Dad decided to try some Kona coffee and it’s good, but it tastes like… coffee. Same with chocolate and wine and stuff. I’m just not sophisticated enough, I guess.
22. I am eternally tired. It doesn’t matter how well I sleep (not that I sleep well often). I wake up tired.
23. I get irrationally upset when I find a book with a good story and characters I enjoy, but it’s full of continuity errors, typos, and punctuation errors. It’s so disappointing, but I usually rage read it just to have something to rant to myself about at night. So much potential just absolutely ruined by a horrible editor (or lack of an editor).
24. I’ve been working on this list for three hours. I’m so uninteresting. Sorry. But at least it’ll only take you a few minutes to read.
25. I love peppermint bark. In chocolate form or coffee form or whatever. You can’t go wrong with chocolate and peppermint.
26. I always say I need to catch up on anime or tv shows I don’t watch with Dad, but if I have time, I end up playing mindless games while listening to loud music.
27. Years ago, I stopped playing video games because crippleness (my last big mobility loss affected my arms and hands and I lost the ability to lean forward on my own). That was before adaptive controllers existed. Now, I hesitate about getting back into them because they are/were addictive. I get sucked into my mindless games occasionally. Can you imagine what would happen if it was a game I actually liked?
28. I wouldn’t mind dancing around and being stupid with people. I don’t think I’ve done any dancing with others since Stonecoast. Used to dance at anime conventions and clubs. That’s not happening any time soon. If I had local friends aside from the Minion, I’d say we have a backyard, but everyone is so far away. You guys suck. Not really.
29. My coping mechanisms for life in general could probably be better. A dark sense of humor and self-deprecation have helped me survive this long, though, so I won’t change anything.
30. I started following other cripple people on social media and found out that pee math is a thing cripples have to do. Calculating how much they can drink and knowing where the bathrooms they can use are, etc. I mostly eliminated that a long time ago by training myself to just hold it, but I still have to do it for all day events. I have to know which drinks I can have and when I can have them so I can make it home. Or we have to drag my lift with us and that’s more trouble than just doing the math. But yeah. Pee math is a thing you know about now. You’re welcome!
31. Amazon started doing Kindle Reading Challenges and the only thing I get out of them are little bookmark icons that do nothing and can’t be seen by anyone but me. They don’t even send a congratulations for completing the challenge. But I get so ticked off if I fail to get one of the stupid things. Is that weird?
32. Mardi has me trained to go get her when she nudges my feet and whines while Dad’s out in the garage or running errands. Then she just wants back down two minutes later. Spoiled pupper is spoiled.
33. I’m currently craving flan and I don’t know why. It’ll pass.
34. I’m far too old and boring to be making these kinds of lists. There’s nothing interesting about me that people don’t already know. Ugh.
35. Surprisingly, I’d rather be working on the novel than this post. I never thought that would happen. But I’m sure as soon as I schedule this and open the file to write my 100 words it’ll be like pulling teeth. I’m never satisfied with anything until I’m done.
36. Holy shit. This post is about 1,700 words according to the WordPress word count thingie. No wonder I hate it.
37. Gott Ist Ein Popstar by Oomph is a decent song to end this list to. It’s what’s playing right now.
Sorry for the length. As always, feel free to leave comments or whatever here or on my social media pages!
Howdy, howdy! How’s everyone doing? It’s currently 6:30 in the morning on Tuesday and I’ve been up all night. Why? So I can answer the phone in a couple of hours and talk to the Social Security Administration about that thing we’ve been trying to work out since July. Why not just get up at 8:30 like a normal person? Because cripples don’t have that luxury. At least I don’t. Both the getting into and out of bed processes take like two hours each (and Dad has to go to bed after he gets me in bed/get up before me), so it’s just easier to stay up when it’s just an anomaly (we never schedule morning appointments, but the government doesn’t listen when you request afternoon ones). Anyway, I used to LOVE staying up all night, especially when I could sleep all day. But now I’m old and this shit is boring.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties, staying up all night was basically a sanctuary. It was the easiest way to spend as little time with my mom as possible. She’d sleep until three or four in the morning, get up and put me in bed, do whatever she did during the morning, then get me up around two or three. It didn’t keep us from fighting all the time, but it helped a little. It also caused some arguments with Dad because he didn’t like me staying up all night (sorry). But those quiet hours between about midnight and three were the absolute best. I miss them a lot sometimes.
But that was back in the days of Yahoo chats and when fansubs (both anime and manga) were spewed all over the Interwebz. Entertaining myself was easy. Finding people to hang out with and be weird with was simple. And being productive (doing school stuff) came naturally during those hours. It was peaceful and wonderful and I’m probably forgetting how boring it actually was, but I’m allowed to romanticize things once in a while.
Now, it’s generally unnecessary (I have no one to avoid anymore) and boring as hell. Tonight, I finished the third Simon and Baz book, read four chapters in this month’s review book, wrote this post because if I waited until this afternoon the entire post would be ZZZ…, and spent far too much time prepping for this upcoming appointment that should really be quite easy (but it’s the government, so I’ve just learned to prepare for hassles). Productivity achieved. But I no longer have friends in distant time zones to be weird with at ungodly hours. I did pester my friend who’s in Germany, but only for a few minutes. Otherwise, I scrolled through Facebook, checked my email like fifty times, and ordered a shirt I really don’t need. It’s just not worth the sleep deprivation anymore.
That’s enough rambling. I’m going to go play some mindless games until closer to the appointment time, then I’ll switch to obsessively checking my phone which is right in front of me with a decent charge and good reception. But I’ll still be in panic mode until the call is over. Enough about me, what about you? Are you a fan of all-nighters? As always, feel free to leave your thoughts here or on my social media pages!
Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing this week? I’m still slacking on most things. I have zero desire to do anything. Even reading is a slog, despite both books I’m currently reading being halfway decent. I’ve been sitting here for over two hours, trying to figure out what to blog about. I’m trying to think of summery things. That’s not working. Writerly things are eluding me. No one wants another list of books or goals. I even considered making a list of a few summertime crochet things I can try making when I finish that shawl I’ve been working on forever. But I don’t have any examples handy and it’s a little overwhelming to try to find examples on short notice. Maybe I’ll do that next week. So, what am I going to blog about today? I’m still thinking. All I’ve really been doing is watching murder mystery shows. I guess I can ramble about the three I’m currently watching with Dad.
1. Agatha Christie’s Poirot. It’s on Britbox (except for series 7 and 8, both of which just left AcornTV and haven’t landed anywhere else yet). We’re still in series 3, I think. It’s an okay show. The old cars and stuff are pretty. It started out where an hour episode felt like 2 or 3 hours, but it’s gotten better. Things seem to move more smoothly. There are some laughs. Poirot kind of reminds me of Monk (the American show with Tony Shalhoub). Actually, I guess Monk reminds me of him since he came first. It’s probably just the OCD thing. Anyway, it’s getting better and it’s cute.
2. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. It’s on AcornTV. It’s set in 1920’s Melbourne, so the vehicles and clothing are interesting. There are cute moments. And, of course, she’s a strong, independent woman. She also has a habit of collecting people. It’s weird. We’re still in series one (there are 3, plus a movie and a spin-off), so it’s still early, but it’s another one that’s cute and entertaining. Plus, it doesn’t seem to drag too much so far, so there’s that.
3. The Brokenwood Mysteries. It’s a New Zealand show, also on AcornTV. It’s got some laughs. I’m not sure what I expected out of New Zealand scenery, but this (basically reminds me of small town America) was not it. It’s set nowadays, so the only old car you get to see is the main dude’s 1971 Holden Kingswood (it’s not pretty, so I have no feelings one way or the other about it). All of the episodes are about an hour and a half, so it’s a little long, but I’m enjoying it so far.
There you go. That’s what Dad and I are watching lately. I know. I’m a boring person. But I’m okay with that. I’ll try to think of something more exciting for next week. As always, feel free to leave your thoughts or comments or questions here or on my social media pages!
Howdy, howdy! It’s a blah day. Quite gloomy. And I have nothing to ramble or rant about. I’ve avoided the news for the most part, but I’ve already seen reports of anti-maskers threatening to call ICE at a Mexican restaurant that requires masks. It doesn’t matter that the mandate wasn’t even officially lifted until 10th. This is just how people behave. I, for one, think Biden chose the perfect word: Neanderthals. But I don’t want to be angry, so back to the subject at hand. What should I blog about? No idea. If there’s something you want me to ramble about next week, drop me a line. This week, I’m just going to make a quick list of the things I should be doing right now, then I’m going to do some of those things.
1. Writing. I haven’t written much besides blog posts and a couple of beginnings (nowhere near full stories) this year. I’m just lazy. I have no excuses. Everyone seems to be struggling with something or other right now, so it’s not really fair for me to blame the pandemic or the seasons changing or depression or anything. I’m just clinging to my laziness. I need to suck it up and write.
2. Recording myself reading a story out loud. My story “Poisoned Honey and Pickled Pigs’ Feet” is coming out in the May issue of Love Letters to Poe. On top of the magazine, they also have a podcast of the authors reading their work. I’ve been assured my phone should be fine for recording (it sounds better than my computer in the tests I did), but I hate my voice and dread having to listen to the recording for errors. I’ve been practicing and just have to bite the bullet and do the recording in the next day or two when I can find a quiet moment (it’s due the 18th). But yeah. Go subscribe to the newsletter and podcast so you can read/hear my story when it comes out!
3. Reading. I need to read at least one chapter a day in the book I’m going to review this month to be done on time, plus I got the ebook of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix from the library, so I have to read three chapters of that a day in order to finish before I have to return it. Yes, I can make Dad pull out my old hardcopy of HP5 if I don’t finish on time, but we’ve already established that I’m lazy. It doesn’t sound like a lot of reading, but it is when you read super slow. I miss the days when I was able to read a 1,000+ page book in a week. Getting old sucks.
I’m sure there are other things I should be doing, like writing letters and answering texts. I’ll do that stuff later. For now, I’m going to practice my story one more time, then read for a while. As always, feel free to share your thoughts or suggestions for blog post topics here or on my social media pages!
Hello, hello! I have nothing writerly to talk about this week, so I thought I would share the (boring) story behind one of my weirder decorations. Hanging above my door, alongside my collection of drumsticks and guitar picks, is a crumpled up plastic water bottle. Whenever I’m hurting and need to lay back in the chair to shift my weight (or I get stuck on something while writing and just need a break), I usually end up staring at that bottle for a few minutes. It has this weird ability to make me smile, despite being a piece of junk to everyone else. I guess it’s because I get to think about that December night back 2011 when I got it.
Yes, I’m one of those weird people who keep things like this
That year was a year for concerts. Miyavi came around in November (pretty sure one of the drumsticks is from that one), which was a no-brainer for me. I was definitely going to that show. Then, I found out that Dir engrey was coming through that December. I admit that I struggled a bit with the decision to go to that show. I knew Dad wasn’t a fan (screamy Japanese metal just isn’t his thing, though I knew he wouldn’t say no if I asked to go) and it was a little expensive, but I had never seen them live before. And you never really know if Japanese bands are going to come back through Texas, so it’s best to catch them when you can. Ultimately, I decided to go.
Dad, the Minion (yes, I call my friend a minion, except I think he still had the title of Puppet back then), and I piled in the van and headed down to Trees in DeepEllum. It’s one of my favorite venues down there, though we haven’t been in a while. The owners were super nice. I heard they’ve reopened two other venues since the last time I went to a concert out there, which is neat. But I digress.
The Minion! And yes, I wore a Mudvayne hat to a Dir en grey concert.
The concert was awesome. Sat by the stage, right in front of Toshiya, the bassist. At one point, Dad leaned over and said that he had just realized that that guy (Toshiya) was wearing a skirt. Given other bands I listen to, it wasn’t a surprise as much as an observation, but it was still funny. Then, when the concert was over and the band members were leaving the stage, Kyo (the singer) stopped and gave me his crumpled up water bottle. Still high on the live music buzz, it was the most awesome thing EVER! A little later, when asked what I planned on doing with his garbage, I vaguely remember a plan to harvest his DNA and clone him. That never came to fruition, but I did use it as a wall decoration.
Kyo!
And that’s how one man’s literal trash became my treasure. What’s something weird that you keep around? Do you have anything other people would look at and automatically think it’s trash? Share your story here or on my social media pages!
Shawna's Blog of Doom 