Randomness

Father’s Day Is Coming

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello!  Since Sunday (the 18th) is Father’s Day over here, I thought I’d tell y’all about my dad, Gary.  If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ve probably heard a lot of this before, so sorry in advance for the repetition.  Anyway, I’m not really good at the whole sappy emotional thing, so I know I don’t tell him how much I appreciate him enough.  So, I thought I’d give it a shot in writing (because I’m better at putting words on pages than I am at speaking).

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Dad and I at the MDA Christmas party in 2015.

Since Mom died in 2011, Dad has dropped everything to become my sole caregiver.  He learned to take care of me basically from scratch and my less than perfect instructions.  Yeah, he had an idea of what to do from watching Mom, but since she did everything before, he didn’t know all the ins and outs.  It’s one thing to see what has to be done with me, but another thing entirely to actually do it, to learn my limitations and how to work around them.  But he did it, and we’ve got a good routine going.

We compromised on a sleep schedule (I used to stay up until four or five in the morning and sleep all day while he was usually in bed by ten and up around six).  He always asks my opinion before doing any remodeling around the house.  I’m always in the loop about major purchases.  When it comes to things like life and the house and all that, he treats me like an adult and an equal because that’s the kind of person he is.

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The nightstand and part of the bed he built for me.

On top of all of that, he custom built all of my furniture to hide all of my medical equipment.  Who would guess there’s a ventilator hidden in that nightstand?  It started with a desk that comes out in a point, like the corner of a table, so I can get to it more easily than a regular desk.  You can see it here.  That’s nestled between two armoires.  The one on the left has a special drawer that used to house my Xbox at a reachable height back when I could still game.  Then came the bed, because I didn’t like the looks of my hospital bed.  And finally, the nightstand to hide the vent and for storage.

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That time he made a stack of panaffles (waffle inside a pancake) with Nutella and raspberry puree.

He’s also the best cook I know.  He makes a pastrami from scratch, smokes all kinds of things (including mac and cheese once or twice), and that’s just his bbq skills.  I’ve been spoiled by his Italian, since I’d rather he cook it than go out for it.  He also likes to experiment with new things.  Yeah, I’m definitely spoiled.

Okay, maybe I’m just bragging now, but these are just a few things I appreciate about him.  So, happy (almost) Father’s Day to my dad and all the other dads who might be reading this!  Feel free to share something about your own father figure here or on my social media pages.  I’d love to hear some of your stories.

A Short Reading List

~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Hello, hello!  As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been slacking on my reading lately, but I’ve started up again.  I thought I would use this week’s post as a chance to share the next five books on my ever-expanding reading list.  I’ve decided to keep them in the “fun” category, at least until I get back into a good rhythm, then I’ll probably add in some craft books and maybe some classics.  After all, part of a writer’s job is to read.  So, here are the books, in no particular order.

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1. Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey.  This is actually the book I’m currently reading, because a friend recommended it.  I’m only 75ish pages in, but my initial thoughts are that I really like the story, there are just a lot of words (it’s kind of flowery, which makes it difficult for me to read more than a couple of chapters at a time).

From the back cover:

The land of Terre d’Ange is a place of unsurpassing beauty and grace. It is said that angels found the land and saw it was good…and the ensuing race that rose from the seed of angels and men live by one simple rule: Love as thou wilt.

Phèdre nó Delaunay is a young woman who was born with a scarlet mote in her left eye. Sold into indentured servitude as a child, her bond is purchased by Anafiel Delaunay, a nobleman with very a special mission…and the first one to recognize who and what she is: one pricked by Kushiel’s Dart, chosen to forever experience pain and pleasure as one.

Phèdre is trained equally in the courtly arts and the talents of the bedchamber, but, above all, the ability to observe, remember, and analyze. Almost as talented a spy as she is courtesan, Phèdre stumbles upon a plot that threatens the very foundations of her homeland. Treachery sets her on her path; love and honor goad her further. And in the doing, it will take her to the edge of despair…and beyond. Hateful friend, loving enemy, beloved assassin; they can all wear the same glittering mask in this world, and Phèdre will get but one chance to save all that she holds dear.

Set in a world of cunning poets, deadly courtiers, heroic traitors, and a truly Machiavellian villainess, this is a novel of grandeur, luxuriance, sacrifice, betrayal, and deeply laid conspiracies. Not since Dune has there been an epic on the scale of Kushiel’s Dart-a massive tale about the violent death of an old age, and the birth of a new.

51l3TFMwN6L2. The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater.  I ran across the opening of this one while searching for quotes for my website and decided to check it out.  I’m looking forward to reading it.

From the back cover:

Some race to win. Others race to survive.

It happens at the start of every November: the Scorpio Races. Riders attempt to keep hold of their water horses long enough to make it to the finish line.
Some riders live.
Others die.
At age nineteen, Sean Kendrick is the returning champion. He is a young man of few words, and if he has any fears, he keeps them buried deep, where no one else can see them.
Puck Connolly is different. She never meant to ride in the Scorpio Races. But fate hasn’t given her much of a choice. So she enters the competition – the first girl ever to do so. She is in no way prepared for what is going to happen.

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3. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones.  I’ve seen the anime a few times, and there was always something missing from it for me, so I’ve decided to read the book to see if I can figure out what that missing bit is.

From the back cover:

Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl’s castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there’s far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye.

51kTIlXatRL4. Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor.  I came across this one a while back while browsing books on Amazon.  It sounded interesting, so I bought an ebook copy, then forgot I had it.  It’s about time for me to get to it.

From the back cover:

Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grown dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious “errands”; she speaks many languages–not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out.

When one of the strangers–beautiful, haunted Akiva–fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

611CsCj3YML5. Guardian of the Dead by Karen Healey.  This book was recommended reading for a lecture I attended at Stonecoast, but I never got around to reading it.  It sounds interesting, so I think I’ll give it a shot.

From the back cover:

“You’re Ellie Spencer.”

I opened my mouth, just as he added, “And your eyes are opening.”

Seventeen-year-old Ellie Spencer is just like any other teenager at her boarding school. She hangs out with her best friend Kevin, she obsesses over Mark, a cute and mysterious bad boy, and her biggest worry is her paper deadline.

But then everything changes. The news headlines are all abuzz about a local string of serial killings that all share the same morbid trademark: the victims were discovered with their eyes missing. Then a beautiful yet eerie woman enters Ellie’s circle of friends and develops an unhealthy fascination with Kevin, and a crazed old man grabs Ellie in a public square and shoves a tattered Bible into her hands, exclaiming, “You need it. It will save your soul.” Soon, Ellie finds herself plunged into a haunting world of vengeful fairies, Maori mythology, romance, betrayal, and an epic battle for immortality.

Well, that’s (a tiny excerpt from) my current reading list.  Feel free to share your list or recommend some books for me on here or on my social media pages!

On Accomplishments and Regrets

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  A friend recently sent me a questionnaire she received from a career coach, so that I too could experience the equal parts torture and enlightenment (her words).  I fully admit that I’ve never been able to take things like this seriously.  My answers always range from sarcastic to literal (and occasionally both).  For instance, one of the questions is “what would you do if you knew you could not fail?”  My initial reaction was “Walk!  No, wait… telekinesis!  No… take over the world.  That’s my final answer.”  I mean, if I can’t fail, why not aim big?  But anyway, one of the questions actually managed to get to me: “What accomplishments must, in your opinion, occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well lived—a life of few or no regrets?”  So, I thought I’d answer it here since I don’t know what else to ramble about today.

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If that’s not achievement enough, I don’t know what is.

I suppose this is the kind of question where people write down things like having kids or becoming a CEO of some big company or founding a charity or whatever, which are all  wonderful goals to have, but I don’t think they’re musts.  I actually don’t believe any accomplishment is a must in order to lead a fulfilling life.  For me, that kind of thinking is sad.  I mean, do I hope to publish a bunch of books and become a famous author?  Hell yes.  If I die tomorrow without achieving those goals, does that make my life any less well lived?  No.  I’ll be dead.  I won’t care about that kind of unfinished business.  So, why should I put that kind of pressure on myself while I’m alive?  If I fail, I fail.  It’ll be disappointing, but ultimately, it doesn’t make my whole life unsatisfying.

The accomplishment itself is just the reward at the end of a very long journey.  I believe that journey, with all its little setbacks as well as its forward momentum, is more important than being able to point at a finished project and say “look what I did!”  Don’t get me wrong, achieving a goal feels great, but when you look back at it, you remember the path you took to get there more than the moment of completion.  At least, I do.  As long as the good parts outweigh the bad and as long as I know I’m trying, then I consider my life a success whether I have anything to show for it or not.

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Success is awesome, but don’t forget the rest of this stuff.

As far as regrets go, I think they’re useless and that’s probably what bugged me the most about the question.  I’m not going to have a bunch of regrets simply because I fail to accomplish my goals.  If I’m trying my best, why would I regret that?  I suppose when most of the things you would change about your past are out of your control, it puts all potential regrets in perspective.  Are there things I wish I could’ve done differently?  Yeah.  Would I have actually done them differently?  No, because then I wouldn’t become the person I am now.  Plus, my experiences that led me to those decisions would be the same, so the likelihood of me making different choices even if I had a do-over are slim to none.  So why worry about it at all?  Regrets change nothing.

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Because Uta no Prince-sama.

I guess maybe I’m weird to not worry about big accomplishments.  Or maybe it’s part of the whole cripple privilege thing that I can focus on other things without people judging me and making me feel like I’m wrong (not that I’d care what they thought anyway).  Or maybe I just worry more about the every day stuff than I should.  But to me, being happy, enjoying life, and knowing that I’m trying my best are more important than actual success (not that accomplishments aren’t exciting and fulfilling).  What about you?  How would you answer the question?

Travel Goals

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  I’ve been trying to set up some travel plans for the last few months (I won’t bore you with stories of frustration and annoyance at people who take forever to answer questions) for a trip back to Maine this summer.  It got me thinking of all the places I want to/wish I could travel to eventually.  So, I thought I’d share a list of five travel destinations I wouldn’t mind hitting at some point in my life.

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I actually really don’t like bridges, but it’d still be nice to see.

1. California.  Yeah, it’s a big place and I should probably narrow things down a bit, but I’d like to see a lot of different places there.  I wouldn’t mind doing touristy things (Disneyland, Universal Studios Hollywood, seeing the redwoods, etc.).  Mainly, I’d go to visit one of my friends, but I’d also want to go to San Francisco and San Diego and some other places.  But as long as I got to see my friend and the Pacific, I’d be happy.

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Don’t know if I could go up in it, but it’d be nice to see.

2. Washington state.  Again, my main objective would be visiting a friend, but I’ve heard that it’s a beautiful state to explore.  The EMP Museum looks like fun.  I wouldn’t mind checking out the national parks if they have some cripple friendly trails.  It pretty much just seems like a neat place to visit.

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The Na Pali Coast.

3. Hawaii.  Isn’t this on pretty much every American’s vacation list?  It would take a cruise to get me there, but it would be totally worth it.  Hawaii is one of those “maybe one day when I’m rich and can afford extravagant things” trips.  Who doesn’t want to see the beautiful beaches and waterfalls and to experience island life?  One day I will get there.

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Who doesn’t want to see that architecture up close?

4. The United Kingdom (because I can’t pick just one of the countries).  Actually, I had a hard time picking between here and Germany and Italy and pretty much everywhere in Europe.  Honestly, I don’t really know where the desire to travel that way came from, so I have no idea what all I’d do there.  It’s just one of those random things I fantasize about.  However, I do understand a vacation that far away is a dream that probably won’t come true.  At least not until I can afford a long, slow boat ride.

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Arakura Sengen Shrine

5. Japan.  If you know me at all, you knew this was coming.  I’d love to go see the sakura (cherry blossoms) bloom.  I’ve heard conflicting reports on Japan’s overall accessibility, but friends who have been recently or actually live there report that the big cities have improved their accommodations, which gives me hope.  I know a visit here is a long shot, but I refuse to admit it’ll never happen!  がんばります！

So, these are just a few of the places I eventually want to visit, no matter how unlikely.  A girl can dream, right?  What about you?  Where have you always wanted to go?  Is there a special reason?  As always, feel free to share your thoughts here or on any of my social media pages!

The Show That Prepared Me For Life

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello!  I’ve been binge watching Sailor Moon Crystal the past couple of days and it got me thinking about how I would cope with life today if I hadn’t watched the original Sailor Moon growing up.  It’s one of those shows that prepared me for everything going on in the world today.  We all have a show like that.  Whether it was Ms. Frizzle and the Magic School Bus or X-Men or Batman or whatever you watched as a kid, we all have a show that has stuck with us and been a major influence on who we are today.  For me, that was Sailor Moon.  How could a magical girl anime prepare me for the turbulence of today, you ask?  Stick with me for a minute and I shall do my best to explain.

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One of my favorite pictures of all the Senshi.

Aside from a bunch of women kicking ass and taking names with the occasional backup from Tuxedo Kamen, this show was amazing for many other reasons.  Yeah, there was the obvious message that love and friendship can help you conquer any evil, including the evil that lurks within each of us (after all, if Small Lady can become Black Lady and Saturn can become Mistress 9, none of us can claim to be 100% good).  It reminds us that, ultimately, hatred and superiority complexes will fail.  It might take longer than we want, but as long as people don’t give up, good will eventually win.  We just have to believe in each other.

There are also more subtle messages that apply today more than ever.  There was the whole Uranus/Neptune relationship that the U.S. dub tried to pass off as them being cousins (everyone I knew saw through that charade and, honestly, the whole cousin storyline just made a beautiful relationship kind of creepy).  Not to mention Zoisite’s obsession with Kunzite in the original anime (again, no one I knew believed Zoisite was a woman in the dub).  Then came the Sailor Starlights arc where men transformed into women and back again (pretty sure they just cross-dressed in the manga, but I’m talking about the anime where they were biologically males until they transformed).  Early exposure to this kind of stuff wasn’t traumatizing.  If anything, it helped give me an open mind.

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The Starlights.  I wanted those boots, though.  That’s all I cared about as a kid.

The story arc that hit closest to home for me and, in all honesty, is probably the reason Sailor Moon stuck with me so much, was Sailor Saturn’s story.  She was a sickly kid and an outcast, but she had the power to destroy worlds.  It was the first time I remember seeing someone who had physical difficulties (granted, they were nothing like my own) who could be the hero (or the villain if she had chosen that path).  She proved that you didn’t have to be athletic or even normal to be powerful or even accepted by people.  For a kid like me, that was the best message I could have received.  If she could help destroy evil, I could put up with whatever life threw my way.

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The whole purple outfit didn’t hurt my love of Saturn either.

So yeah, Sailor Moon definitely helped shape who I was back then and who I am now.  It taught me about the power of women, the power of friendship, how to recognize evil, how to accept others for who they are, and how to accept myself.  What show helped turn you into who you are?

Happy Excuse For Chocolate Day

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  As I write this, it’s Valentine’s day.  I’m not going to go into some rant about how it’s all just some corporate holiday thought up by “Big Chocolate” and the greeting card companies, because it’s not (and even if it is, who cares?).  I think it’s nice to have a day set aside to celebrate love.  Yeah, we should express our love every other day of the year as well, I know, but there’s nothing wrong with going a little above and beyond one day if you want to.  By all means, send someone a candygram.  Give someone that gaudy pink heart card.  Have fun with it.  Or, if you’re like me, use the day as an excuse to eat more chocolate than usual and show yourself a little love (on a second read-through of this, I must say I wasn’t being perverted, but I can totally understand if that’s where your mind went).  So, for this week’s post, I think I’m going to give you a list of my top five favorite chocolates (in no particular order), then go watch Netflix on this love-filled day.

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Hope you had a wonderful day, whether you celebrated a special someone, yourself, or just another Tuesday!

1. Ghirardelli squares.  This one is a little unfair, because it’s a broad category.  I can’t pick just one flavor.  I’m the kind who likes to pick up a few different bags (read: who likes it when Dad surprises me with a few different bags) and mix things up a little bit.  Though, I will say that you can never go wrong with milk chocolate caramel or dark chocolate raspberry.

2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  I fully admit that I’m not usually into peanuts in my chocolate (whether it’s M&Ms or Snickers or whatever).  It’s just not my favorite combination in the world.  But I totally love peanut butter with chocolate.  I don’t know why.  It even extends into sundaes.  I don’t like crushed peanuts, but peanut butter sauce is amazing.  I’m just a weird person, I guess.

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Be more like chocolate.

3. Kit Kats.  Actually, I like pretty much anything that adds crispiness to chocolate.  This includes Crunch bars and Krackles.  But Kit Kats are still higher up on my list than those two.  Their crunch to chocolate ratio is the best.

4. 100 Grand Bar.  This particular candy bar takes my love of chocolate coated crunchies and adds caramel.  You can’t go wrong with caramel and chocolate.  Rolos and Caramellos prove that point, but 100 Grand Bars up the ante with the addition of crisped rice.  What’s not to love?

5.  A regular old Hershey’s milk chocolate bar.  Sometimes, you just want regular chocolate.  Sure, the fancy stuff is delicious and the other stuff is satisfying in its own way, but Hershey’s is the taste of childhood and nostalgia.  It’s a special kind of treat.  There’s nothing wrong with savoring a piece or two every now and then.

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Change wine to boozy coffee and it sounds like an awesome day.

So, even though this is a day late, I hope your Valentine’s day was filled with love!  What is your favorite chocolate?  Not a fan of chocolate?  What do you treat yourself with?  Leave a comment here or on my social media pages with a response.  I’m off to spend the evening watching Netflix and TV!

See you next week!

Words For A Young Me

~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello!  I didn’t really know what to write for today, so I asked around, and a friend suggested that I share some advice that I would give to a younger version of myself.  I think she meant like one of those open letter posts.  This isn’t really going to be that.  I don’t even know if this is technically advice, but I thought I would share some words.  I can guarantee that young me wouldn’t have listened to any of it, though.

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Okay, super young me might’ve listened, but not teen me.

I suppose the first thing I would say is that you’ll be okay.  Life is fluid.  It’s always changing and it will shape you, eroding certain things away while building up others.  You will grow to be cynical and dark and quiet before you figure out that the world is generally good.  You will learn early on that life isn’t fair.  People will tell you that you can do anything.  A staircase to a second floor with no elevator will prove them wrong.  Most of the time, you’ll find a way around the obstacles presented to you or you’ll move on to something else.  You’ll take these experiences and find your reality within them.  You’ll find yourself.

A lot of the time, you won’t like who or what you are.  You won’t be able to change the things you want to, so you’ll accept them.  A morbid sense of humor will help with that.  At some point, you’ll even realize that a lot of the things you don’t like about yourself aren’t as bad as certain people make them out to be.  You do have feelings.  Your capacity for love and caring is greater than most people will ever know.  They will tell you differently.  You’ll even believe their words for a while.  But that will pass.  You’ll never be the kind of affectionate and sentimental person they wanted you to be, but that’s okay.  That’s not you.

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Most of my high school years were spent looking like a boy.

People will come and go as well.  The toxic people who drag you into the darkness won’t always be there.  Sometimes life will take them away and sometimes you’ll decide you’ve had enough.  Yes, you’ll be strong enough to tell people to go.  Even people you love will leave.  It’ll hurt, but you’ll be okay.

You will eventually surround yourself with people who have wildly different world views than you do.  You will care about them even when you disagree with them.  And most of the time, you’ll keep your opinions and beliefs to yourself so you can keep the calm.  Occasionally, you’ll pose a question to stir up debates among your friends when you’re bored.  Then, you’ll sit back and watch the chaos until you get bored again.  Mostly, though, you’ll try to keep things peaceful.

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Twenty-one was a lot longer ago than I realized.

Like I said, you’ll be okay.  You’ll be dark and cynical and quiet and loving and sarcastic and weird and so much more.  But most of all, you’ll like who you are.  You’ll still struggle with what you are on occasion, but everyone does.  You’re not alone.  Life, like the world, is generally pretty good.  So, even when it seems like you’ll never be happy again, remember that the good will always come back around eventually.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hey, all!  I don’t feel much like writing a big post right now.  We had to put our last puppers down yesterday (or today as I’m writing this).  He was pretty old for a chihuahua (15 or 16), and he was really sick, so we had to make the choice.  Instead of the usual post, I think I’ll just spam you with pictures of some of our old puppers.

That’s Chewy.  He’s the one we just put down.  Mom rescued him back in 2002 or so and he was with us ever since.  He liked to pee on people and cuddle and would run around bumping into things because he was blind.  He was the baby of the family.

This was Dame Julia of Mesquite.  She was my Jujubee.  We had to put her down back in 2014 and she was around 13 or 14 and she was really sick.  She was my protector.  Whenever she was in lap, you couldn’t come near me without getting nipped at.  I fully admit she was rotten and spoiled.

Toto!  She was my sister’s dog that she got from one of Dad’s jobs.  She was put down in 2011, but I’m not sure how old she was (at least 13 or so).  Her snaggle-teeth weren’t helped by the fact that she liked to attack socks and wouldn’t let go even after you lifted her off the ground.  She was the sweetheart.

This was Speedy.  He was the first dog that was supposed to be mine, but he got too big to sit in my lap.  We got him in 1993 from one of Dad’s jobs and he stayed with us until 2010 when he had to be put down.  He was Dad’s pup once he crawled up behind Dad’s neck and watched TV with him.  He would sing and bounce around and was generally the sweet, loving old man.

We had plenty of other dogs before these four, including Schnapps and Michelob.  I don’t remember a time in my life when there wasn’t at least one dog around.  It’s a weird feeling.  That’s all I really feel like saying this week.  I’ll be in better spirits next week.  See you then!

15 Things About Me That You Never Wanted To Know

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy!  As some of you might know, tomorrow (January 12th) is my birthday.  I’ll be 31, or for those of you who have gerascophobia (the fear of aging), it’ll be my third 29th.  Birthdays around here are quiet events that usually consist of a nice dinner with friends.  This year, the destination is Texas de Brazil!  Yummy!  I’ll make sure to do a full report on that next week.  This week, I thought I would share a list of 15 things about myself that you may or may not already know.  I was going to do 31 and make it a whole nod to my age thing, but no one’s that interested in me.

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Pretty much.

1. My current diagnosis is Ulrich Congenital Muscular Dystrophy (UCMD), but it’s not my first.  There was Floppy Baby Syndrome, which I was supposed to grow out of.  When that didn’t happen, it was Congenital Myopathy.  I didn’t grow out of that either, so I was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy type 2 (SMA2), which came with a series of death guesstimates that never panned out.  That was all by the time I was five.  I was 23 or so when they decided SMA2 was definitely wrong and tested for UCMD (a relatively new disease at the time).  The doctors swear UCMD is the correct one, though.  We’ll see what happens.

2. I like Nickelback.  Make fun of me all you want, but they aren’t a bad group.  They’re not my favorite or anything, but I never really understood why they’re so hated.

3. I don’t have a favorite TV show.  I have shows I love, but if you asked me to pick one I like best, I couldn’t even narrow it down.

4. I’m a firm believer that “growing up” and “acting your age” are scams developed by people who aren’t young at heart.  Besides, I’ve never been this age.  I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like.

5. My favorite things about the Christmas season (aside from family and joy and all of that) are eggnog and peppermint bark.

6. I’m quietly competitive.  I try not to compete with people for things, but when it happens, I will silently plot your overthrow.

7. One of my favorite memories from my time at SMU was when my physics teacher decided to make class grades “public.”  There was a spreadsheet on the class website with our grades listed under nicknames.  I swapped back and forth with a guy (I overheard the guy tell a classmate his nickname, so I know it wasn’t the other female in class) for top marks as the semester went on, ultimately earning the highest grade.  That was the best motivation ever.

8. I started listening to James Blunt and Lifehouse and sappy music in general for a male.  I keep listening to it because I’m apparently a big old softy who enjoys that kind of stuff.

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Maybe.

9. I can go weeks or more without talking to people.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t like you.  And I don’t avoid people very often unless I’ve had too much social interaction (a rare occurrence).  I’ll answer you if you message me.  I’m just really bad at keeping in touch.

10. My favorite colors are purple and green.  My favorite color combination is purple with black and silver.  Most people don’t seem to know about the green part.  It’s weird.

11. I have to drink booze through a straw.  I don’t really understand why this amazes people, but it does.

12. I want to go to Japan some day.  There are other places I would like to visit, but Japan will always be at the top of my list.

13. A friend once told me that she loved me because I would tell her the blunt truth and she’d still walk away feeling special, even if I was telling her she was doing something idiotic.  She’s not the only one who has said something similar.  I guess it’s a weird talent I have.

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Seriously.  Don’t do the thing.

14. I don’t read nearly as much as I should.  I know writers are expected to read a lot, but I don’t.  It’s just not that high on my list of priorities, so I tend to keep putting it off.

15. I’d love to move to the northeast.  Somewhere on the water.  Closer to my Stonecoast people.  I really miss Maine, especially while residency is going on, like right now.

I’ll stop boring you!  Feel free to share some facts about yourself in the comments or on my social media pages.  See you next week!

Mindless Games and Why I Play Them

~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Happy new year, everyone!  I hope the year has started off pleasantly for you.  I’ve just been working on revisions to G&G and relaxing.  I have a tendency to play mindless games when I relax.  You know the ones.  Candy Crush, Diner Dash, Papa’s Pizzeria.  Pretty much anything with an alliterative name is bound to be mindless.  Match three games or hidden objects games or time management games.  The types of games that give you something to do with your hands and pretty images to stare at, but require little to no deep thinking.  However, some people don’t really understand why I play them and even pick on me for it (in a funny haha way, not a mean one), so I thought I would explain a little bit.

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May your year be filled with love and light!

Mindless games are simply a way for me to shut down my brain and stop overthinking things, especially when I’m dwelling on something.  They allow me to focus on something mundane and ignore the voices in my head for a while.  When I’m upset at life or stuck on a story or whatever, the games help to clear my thoughts.  It’s kind of like when you get sucked into a TV show or a movie or a book and everything else fades away for that hour or however long.  It’s a way to bring peace into my head, like my own little meditation.  When your brain is constantly on high speed over the stupidest things, it’s a really nice feeling to just relax.

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I can stop whenever I want.  I just don’t want to.

There’s also this weird side effect of mindless games that I don’t get from TV or books: I find solutions to plot problems when I play.  With TV and books, I have to focus on their plots and follow along.  Mindless games don’t require that much interaction, so my subconscious is free to roam wild.  In its roaming, it finds solutions to problems organically.  It finds things I would never come up with even after hours or days of plotting.  I know a lot of people who have these revelations in the shower, and others who keep dream journals for this type of stuff, but not me.  Mindless games are where it’s at for me.

So, laugh at my stupid games all you want, but there’s a method to my madness.  Plus, and this is important, I enjoy the games.  I like matching games.  I like the games that simulate tasks like waiting tables and cooking and all the other stuff I can’t do.  It’s fun and stupid and makes me a huge nerd.  I fully accept that.

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I’m right here!

Do you play any mindless games?  How do you go about clearing your mind?  Do you find your aha moments in the shower or driving down the road or in your dreams?  Thoughts, comments, questions, and everything in between are welcome in the comment section here or on my social media pages.