Things I Should’ve Done Today

December 15, 2021December 14, 2021 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! What’s everyone been up to lately? Things have been quiet here. I was supposed to be productive today. But I wasn’t. What’s new there? Instead, I listened to loud music while Dad ran an errand. I played stupid games. And I wasted time being social. Kind of. The minion and one of his spawn came by to drop something off for Dad. I mostly listened to them ramble. That’s as social as I get. But it was good seeing them after so long. Stupid plague. Nothing else got done.

I mostly should’ve been preparing to write this post. I didn’t have anything lined up to write about anyway, but I probably could’ve come up with something better to ramble about if it weren’t already so late. Or I would’ve kept procrastinating and written this anyway. At least I can blame it on the minion this week.

The other thing I really should’ve done is read. I’m reading two books and they’re both pretty long. I need to get through about 20 pages a day of the book I’ll be reviewing this month in order to finish it in time. I built in a couple of lazy days just in case, but I should try to get it done anyway. It takes me about an hour. The other book is my pre-bedtime read. I try to get at least half an hour in each night. I’ll at least do that tonight.

I should probably also have written an email and scheduled a video chat, but they can wait. It’s just for my jailbird sister. I keep putting off scheduling the video chat because I have better ways to waste my time. But at least Dad can join in this time (if I have to suffer, so do you). I also need to write emails to a couple of other people, but it’s nothing time sensitive or even important. I should just check in with some people who aren’t on social media.

There are probably things I’m forgetting, but it doesn’t really matter. Today was supposed to be a blog day and reading day. Instead, it was a people-ing kind of day. But I’m going to leave this kind of short and go catch up on reading. What were you supposed to do today? Did you do it? As always, feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!

Peopling is Hard

June 16, 2021June 15, 2021 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! How’s everyone doing? I’m still stuck in a procrastination rut. I start projects, it goes well for a few days, then I just hit a wall. I try to work through it for a couple of days, but after staring at the same pages for a while, I get disgusted with it and take a few days off. It’s an endless cycle. I need to break it, but I can’t figure out how. So, I decided to try being social instead. Change up the routine. Maybe getting out of my comfort zone would help get the writing muscles going again. That was the hope, anyway. It’s not going too well.

I randomly joined some Facebook groups a week or so ago, mostly for pretty pictures of bats and cephalopods. Apparently, I also decided to join a couple of groups for people who are pansexual and their supporters (happy Pride!), which I never do because… well, people. One of the current fads in one of those groups are those stupid friendship application posts where newbies basically introduce themselves. I don’t do that stuff. I am horrible at peopling. Everyone knows this. I make no secret of it. But I did the thing despite my aversion to socializing.

All of the comments on the post were super sweet and accepting. Yes, I even included pictures. And, instead of being self-deprecating like I usually am, I tried very hard to just say thank you to the handful of folks who said I was pretty or whatever. It was weird. And I admit that I met a couple of people who are cool and I’ve enjoyed our conversations and will definitely keep talking to them. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t get like twenty DMs from douchenozzles (you know the ones, those who expect cyber sex or whatever it’s called nowadays without even attempting to hide it behind getting to know you) who ended up blocked. It totally reminded me of the Yahoo chat days, and not in the good way. Sifting through the asshats to find the interesting people is just not my thing anymore. I’m too lazy for all that. And way too comfortable with being alone (or talking to my current peoples) to make that effort.

It doesn’t help that I have a lot of social anxiety. I can’t even make doctor appointments over the phone without freaking out unless I practice the conversation in my head fifty times. Goddess forbid they go off script. And even if it goes perfectly, I still feel like I screwed something up with the interaction. I’m not as bad with text based exchanges, because I can see and edit what I’m saying. Especially when it comes to professional correspondence. That, I have no problem with. As long as I can write it out, I’m okay. I really only have issues with socializing like a normal human being. I know people who I only knew by screen names for the first ten years of our friendship. That’s how horrible at peopling I am. I didn’t even think to ask for names until we’d run into each on Facebook or something. Peopling is hard.

But that’s enough about my lack of humaning skills. I probably should’ve thought of a better topic instead of rambling about nothing. But there you have it. As always, feel free to leave your comments or questions or whatever here or on my social media pages!

Less Screen Time: Pros and Cons

December 11, 2019December 10, 2019 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! How is everyone doing this December? Are you ready for whatever holiday you happen to be celebrating? We aren’t planning on doing anything this year, so we’re pretty much prepared. Anyway, I haven’t been doing much aside from reading and crocheting. That means I don’t have much to talk about. But it also means I’ve been away from the computer more often than usual. It makes for a weird combination of good and bad. So, I thought I would take a chance to ramble about some of the pros and cons I’ve noticed about being away from the screen.

Pro 1: Less social media drama. Don’t get me wrong, I love lurking and seeing how everyone I know is doing, but I really like not getting sucked down all the flame war rabbit holes. I still scroll through everything on a daily basis, but I find myself reading fewer comments because I’d rather go play with yarn than watch people argue. It just seems like a better use of my time.

Con 1: Less socializing. I don’t socialize enough as it is, but being away from the computer means that I don’t respond to Facebook messages right away. I rarely respond to texts right away anymore, unless it’s important. It’s just not as easy to multitask when my computer is in my room and I’m in the dining room. So, sorry if I haven’t messaged you enough or in a timely manner. I’m being worse than usual about it.

Pro 2: Yarn doesn’t judge me when I curse at it. Try it. You can say anything you want to yarn and the worst it will do is tangle itself up, which just results in more colorful language. Say the wrong thing online and someone’s going to blow up at you whether you were talking to them or not. Yarn is good. Yarn doesn’t judge. Be like yarn.

Con 2: Yarn won’t help you with stupid things. As good a listener as yarn is, it won’t offer unhelpful solutions when you need a laugh. That’s what my Interwebz friends are for, to send me stupid memes and GIFs when I’m in a funk.

Pro 3: Finding new communities to be part of and learning people you already know are in those communities. I’ve joined a few crochet and fiber arts groups only to discover people I already know are in them! It’s actually kind of cool to join a group and realize you already have friends there. Plus, it’s nice to have places to go and ask beginner questions and get a lot of feedback.

Con 3: The groups are online. In other words, I join them and stalk them for a few minutes, then go back to the dining room.

Ultimately, I’m still on my computer a lot, but being away from it seems to be helping my mental health. I don’t know if it’s just being away from the negativity of social media or if it’s doing something with my hands or a combination of the two, but I feel better (not as depressed and anxious as usual). So, I think less screen time is good, but I still need it to socialize.

What are your thoughts on screen time and social media breaks and all that good stuff? Feel free to leave your comments or thoughts here or on my social media pages!

December Goals: 2019

December 4, 2019December 3, 2019 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! It’s the last month of 2019 and I haven’t really accomplished much the last few months. I’m not really looking to do much this month either. Shame on me, I know. But it’s true. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m not going to be able to shake the writing blahs any time soon. But I still have some goals that I intend to work on. And I haven’t shared a goal post in a while, so that’s what I’m doing now. Sorry that I have nothing better to ramble about.

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So, here are those goals in no particular order:

1. Keep submitting to two places each week. I fell behind on this when I was sick earlier this year, but I caught up and have no plans to give up now. I’ve gathered a lot of rejections, mostly form, but with some really nice personal ones sprinkled throughout. You know about the acceptances if you stalk me at all. It’s been a really good year submission-wise.

2. Read 2 more books. I know I originally wanted to read 30 books this year, but I think I’m going to top out around 27. I just finished number 25. If I hadn’t gotten sick, I probably could’ve squeezed in a few extra. But honestly, I’ll be happy if I only get through 26.

crochet-is-not-a-hobby-its-a-post-apocalyptic-life-skill-b542f — Zombies need sweaters too.

3. Crocheting. I was stupid and chose a big ambitious project as a newbie. There’s no way I’m finishing it this year, but I want to get a big chunk of it done, so in January I can switch my main focus back to writing like I should’ve done a long time ago. I have to remind myself that crocheting is just supposed to be a hobby.

4. Being more social. I went to SMU’s Celebration of Lights with Dad and some friends. We even have another holiday thing planned with them. But I also really need to text and Facebook message some people because I have been hermitting really bad. Like worse than usual. I blame the crochet because it doesn’t involve the computer, so I can’t multitask when I’m doing it. But really, I’m just enjoying my own company.

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5. Get in a festive mood. It’s hard. I can’t get into Christmas music. I’m not in the mood to look at lights. I thought going to SMU’s thing would help, but it didn’t do much for me. Maybe the holiday party will help. Or maybe I’m just a Grinch. But I have eggnog, so I’m a happy Grinch.

What about you? Do you have any December goals? Are you already filled with the holiday spirit or are you struggling too? As always, feel free to share your thoughts and comments here or on my social media pages!

December Goals

December 5, 2018December 3, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! It’s December again (didn’t we just do this?). Happy holidays and all that jazz! I don’t really have anything to talk about this week and I’ve been super slacking on the writing front (and at life in general), so I thought I would take a minute to make my goals for the month known. This way, you can heckle me until I succeed. I know these posts are pretty boring, so I try not to do them a lot. Apologies in advance. But here are my goals in no particular order!

December Goals:

1. Submit stuff 10 times (2 every Monday). I’ve consistently submitted two stories a week all year long. Granted, it wasn’t always on Mondays, but it got done even when I really didn’t feel like it. I’m super proud of that. Now, I just have to keep it up the rest of this month and do it all over again next year.

2. Revise more of LR. Revising has been beyond slow and I have no one and nothing to blame but myself. I love the story and I’m excited about it, but I can’t get into a good rhythm with the revisions. I get into it a few days then can’t bring myself to open the files for a while. It’s weird.

3. Read 2 books. Actually, I need to finish two books (at least) this month. I started them both last month. When I got the okay on The Razor, I stopped in the middle of European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman. There was just no way for me to finish both last month. And I decided to start this month’s review book before I finish European Travel. I somehow clumped too many long books together and it’s thrown my whole reading schedule off, but I’m past my goal for the year, so it’s okay.

ecde7721063e2c7fb6e48956f2daf116 — The lazy voices in my head often enable me by telling the productive ones to shut up.

4. Make time for people. It’s just really hard to talk to people when I like being a recluse so much. Luckily, around the holidays, I randomly text people to wish them well and usually end up chatting with a few of them. It’s the only time of year I’m not a completely shitty friend!

5. Decide on a couple of days to go through my files and tidy everything up. I seriously need to do this. I used to know exactly where every song, picture, and file was on my computer. Now, I can’t find half the stuff I go looking for. It’s a mess.

6. Start ripping old CDs to my computer. A few months ago, I got a new radio because my 60 disc player stopped working. Do you know how hard it is to find a new 60+ disc player that is it’s own stereo, not a component to a make-your-own stereo system? Impossible. In other words, I have a bunch of CDs that I need to transfer to my computer so I can play my old favorites and annoy the crap out of Dad.

hqdefault — Okay, I have that one on my computer, but this made my smile.

7. Attack the slush pile. I’ve been sporadic with my first reader duties over at Pseudopod. I need to buckle down and help get through this period’s submissions. It’s always a fun experience.

Those are my goals. What about you? Do you have any stuff you want to focus on this month? Feel free to share your thoughts or comments here or on my social media pages!

August Goals!

July 31, 2018July 31, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ 1 Comment

Howdy, howdy! Can you believe it’s already August? I feel like I’m still stuck in June. Time just keeps getting faster and faster. Am I alone in this feeling? Yeah? Well, okay then. I don’t really have much to talk about at the moment, though I am trying my hand at some revision techniques that are new to me. If they work out, I’ll probably talk about them more next week. Anyway, since this Wednesday actually falls on the first, I decided to simply share my August goals with you.

original — It’s a pretty picture. That’s all.

So, without further ado and in no particular order, I present to you…

August Goals:

1. Submit stuff 8 times (2 every Monday) to semi-pro markets or higher. This is one of my goals for the year (submitting two stories to magazines or anthologies every Monday) and I’ve been doing really well with it. I haven’t missed a week yet, though I do believe I submitted stuff on Tuesday a couple of times. Sometimes, I’ve dreaded submitting or felt like I’ve submitted everywhere I possibly could, but I pushed through it and found new places anyway. Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep it up!

2. Write 50+ words OR revise 1+ pages EVERY DAY. I’m back to the small goals every single day thing. It’s just really helpful to me when I feel like I’m between projects. In my head, I know I’m prepping for in-depth revisions on LR, but if I don’t keep track of words or pages, I don’t feel productive. This goal might change once I find my rhythm with LR. For now, though, it’s good for me.

3. Read 2 books. This is another one of my goals for every month this year. Honestly, I’ve kind of lost track of how many books I tend to read in a month because some overlap months and others I deliberately read over a longer period of time (almost always craft books). But I do know I’m up to 18 books this year (thanks to GoodReads tracking feature), so I’m ahead of schedule.

4. Make time for people. I’ve been a bit reclusive recently, though I still try to answer every message I get. I just don’t initiate as many conversations as I should. This is nothing new. It’s something I struggle with all the time (as you know if you’ve read earlier posts). I’m just far too comfortable not talking to people and stalking them on Facebook instead. Yes, I’m creepy like that. My friends know this and many of them do the same. But I really do want to be better about socializing. I swear.

5. Finish timeline for LR. This is one of those new-to-me techniques I mentioned earlier. There’s about one more day’s worth of plotting before I have a timeline that I can work with (I’m plotting it on the computer before I write anything out). I even bought a bunch of Post-It notes in pretty colors to make everything easy to differentiate. I just have to figure out where to stick them that’s easy to see. Then, I have to recruit Dad to do the sticking. I bet he never thought my novel writing would include work for him.

Habitación-de-los-post-it-destacada-600x600 — That’s a lot of Post-It notes.

6. Work on revisions of LR. Hopefully the timeline will make revisions go more smoothly than usual. It’s already given me ideas for new scenes and how to rework some old ones, so I’m cautiously optimistic. I should have some updates on this in the next couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

Those are my goals for the month. What about you? What are you hoping to accomplish before September? Feel free to share your goals or thoughts here or on my social media pages!

Goals Vs. Allergies: The Struggle Is Real

February 7, 2018February 5, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Howdy, howdy! Welcome to February. Today, I want to share my goals for the month, but I also want to talk about allergies. Down here in Texas, the trees are getting ready for spring by spewing pollen everywhere. Depending on which way the wind’s blowing and which trees are shaking off their dust, this can create a miserable environment for people with allergies. People like me. Which, in turn, makes completing goals hard. So, along with my goals, I’ll talk about how I work them around the worst of my allergy days.

So, here are my goals:

1. Finish DS1’s shitty first draft. Writing in general is super hard when your head feels like it’s going to explode and your mucus can’t decide if it wants to hole up in your sinuses or pour all over your face (spoiler: it decides to do both). Sure, you can take a bunch of allergy meds and hope they don’t knock you out before you get your words done, but we both know that won’t work. Instead, I try to make sure I work as much as possible on the days I feel okay, so that I don’t feel too guilty for slacking on the days I feel like crap. That’s really all we can do to get the writing goals done during allergy season.

2. Submit stuff 8 times (2 every Monday). This is the kind of thing I do regardless of whether allergies are kicking my ass or not. My cover letter is already written and my manuscript is properly formatted. All I have to do is double check submission guidelines, make any formatting tweaks, and send stuff out. It doesn’t take much energy or time, so if I’m feeling really bad, I can put it off until the initial medication drowsiness has faded.

Just add some snot and drool and it’s close enough.

3. Write 1 flash piece OR short story. For those days you feel good enough to write but don’t have the brain function to focus on your novel. I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes I just need something quick to distract me from all the plot lines I have to keep straight in the novels. Especially when my brain already feels fuzzy from allergies.

4. Read 2 books. I tend to save reading for the days when I just can’t bring myself to write, but feel like I should be doing something productive. If it gets too hard to focus, I can always switch to Netflix.

5. Make time for people/leaving the house. I’m always bad at this whether allergies are involved or not. But I do have a tendency to say yes to leaving the house (running errands with Dad) when I don’t feel up to writing. It makes me feel productive in a different way and I don’t have to worry about the allergies making my words come out weird.

Those are my goals for February. I figure it’s easier to stick to a few just in case my allergies get evil. What are some of your goals this month? How do you work around your allergies? Or do you prefer to push through them?

The Year Of Persistence, Revision, And Submissions

January 3, 2018January 1, 2018 ~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! Welcome to 2018. I hope everyone has a wonderful year. May the year be filled with everything you need and something you want! A few weeks ago, I talked about my goals for the new year (here). So, I thought I would go ahead and share my January goals this week. Even though it’s only been two days, I’ve been doing pretty well so far. Let’s hope the rest of the month is just as productive!

cover_january_2017 — Definitely not the view here in Texas.

So, here are my January goals in no particular order.

1. Get DS1’s (the current novel attempt’s code name) shitty first draft to at least 60,000 words. It’s currently 44,000 and I’m aiming for a complete draft of 70-75,000ish words. For a month, 16,000 words is a pretty reasonable goal. Hopefully, I’ll get further, but it’s always a good idea to stick with tough but reasonable goals.

2. Submit stuff 10 times (2 every Monday). This refers only to short stories, flash fiction, and poetry. Not agent searching. Last year, I focused primarily on my novel and neglected my other work. I don’t want to do that this year. Sure, it means more rejections, but I can’t get any acceptances if I don’t submit, right? (More positive thinking is also something I’m working on this year.)

Sounds like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, but I’ll try it.

3. Write 1 flash piece OR short story. I should probably include poems in this, but it’s been so long since I’ve written any poetry that I probably suck at it now. That’s not negative thinking, it’s just the truth. I’ll probably set aside some time for writing poetry when I start focusing on my revisions. For now, I’ll stick with short stories and flash fiction.

4. Read 2 books. I recently joined GoodReads to try to keep better track of what I’ve read throughout the year. I’m a slow reader, so my goal is to read 24 books in 2018. I’m currently halfway through a book I started a week ago, so I guess technically my January goal is only 1.5 books. Is that cheating?

5. Stop dwelling on rejections and sucking and just do the damn work. This is where the positive thinking really comes in. I’ve been down about all the agent rejections I received last year. After 100 rejections (or just flat out being ignored), it’s hard not to think it’s me and my suckiness. But! I just need to suck it up and move on. I’ve got other projects that might interest people. It’s time to focus on those!

6. Make time for people. I always say that I need to talk to more people and I always fail. But I will keep adding it to my goals until it actually happens! I used to be so good at keeping in touch with people back when Yahoo chatrooms were a thing. I don’t know what happened to that me.

have-noidea-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-and-13927749 — This is not wrong.

7. Turn 32. Yup, I’m a January baby. In about 9 days, I’ll be turning 32. I’m old. But I’m okay with that.

That’s my plan for January. What about you? Do you have any goals for this month? What about goals for the new year? Feel free to share them here or on my social media pages!

September Is Coming

August 30, 2017August 29, 2017 ~ shawnaborman ~ 2 Comments

Hello, hello! August is coming to a close, bringing the beginning of September with it. I’ve been having trouble finding the motivation to keep up with my work, despite my current novel attempt being enjoyable, so I thought I would post my main goals for the coming month right here. I find it more difficult to avoid the things I need to do once someone else knows what my goals are. The potential for public shame is an awesome motivator. Plus, I know I have a few friends who will crack the whip at me if they know I should be doing things and they catch me on Facebook instead.

whip — Whips and pleather can be motivational too, I guess.

Goal 1: write 18,000+ words. I know I’m capable of writing 4,500 words a week and September is about four weeks long, so I should at least be writing this much. Only words toward the WIP, short stories/flash pieces, and the blog count towards this number. And only words over my current written words, not revisions. It’s the goal I’ve been struggling with the most, so if I’m slacking, feel free to break out the whip.

Goal 2: read at least 2 books. One book will be for my review on the 27th, and the second will be for a book club I just joined. I’m also currently reading a book with my writing group, but we’re taking it slow, so I might not finish it by the end of the month. I admit that I don’t read nearly enough, so I’m trying to change that. I was able to read 2 books a month at Stonecoast and keep up with my writing, so it seems like a reasonable thing to do.

Goal 3: query 16 more agents. I’ve been querying four a week for what seems like forever now. No, I really have no clue how or why I settled on the number four. But I do know that I’ve currently sent out 84 queries and have no idea how many rejections/assumed rejections (because some agencies don’t send out rejections, but give you a “if you haven’t heard back in x weeks we’re passing” instead) I’ve gathered up and I don’t feel like checking my spreadsheet right now. It’s a numbers game, I’m told, and I’ll keep trying for a while longer. But I’m thinking 100 sounds like a good place to take a break and regroup and wait to see what happens with the queries still in limbo.

Goal 4: submit at least one thing to my critique group. The group seemed to go on hiatus for the past couple of months as our members used the summer for some much needed family time. But now that school has started, critique submissions are starting to trickle in and I want to be among them.

Goal 5: make time to text/message some people besides the usual two or three. Because I’ve been a shitty friend and I know that. I promise I’ll try to be better, but I usually fail miserably at this type of stuff too.

201508_1302_biidd — And I don’t even talk to them much.

So, those are my September goals. It feels a little overwhelming to see them written out like this, but I can do it. And if I can’t, you get to publicly shame me! What about you? What are your main goals for the month? Feel free to share them here or on my social media pages!

See you next week!

Writing Challenge Q&A: Improvement Needed

May 11, 2016May 10, 2016 ~ shawnaborman ~ Leave a comment

Hello, hello! Welcome to the final installment of the Writing Challenge Q&A. I must admit that it’s been really nice knowing what I’m going to write about these last few weeks, but I’m kind of looking forward to just randomly picking a topic next week. This week’s ramble is courtesy of the lovely Morganna Williams. She chose number 26 (“write about an area in your life that you’d like to improve”). So, I suppose I’ll be talking about self-improvement for a little while.

self-care-in-addiction-recovery — Self-care is important if you want to improve yourself.

Honestly, there are a lot of areas in my life that could be improved upon, just like there are areas that are great just the way they are. It’s hard to pick one. I could definitely use less procrastination. I could be more optimistic. I could be more adventurous (rather than sticking to the “plan”). And I could definitely work on not overthinking everything. But this is all stuff that I’m relatively okay with. It’s stuff that I’m slowly working on. I’ve found a way to overcome procrastination with my writing at least. I try to steer myself away from worst case scenarios. I’m saying “yes” a little more to last minute plans (only once or twice so far, but baby steps). Overthinking is still my downfall. So what would I like to improve? I guess I’m still not that great at socializing, which is something I’m okay with, but I know it’s not a good habit to nurture.

07bc08c777cb4508dcb751159aaade31 — This! So much this.

I fully admit that it’s me when I lose touch with people. I suck at remembering to text or message people unless they get in contact first. It’s really weird because I never had this problem when I was online with people at four in the morning. I was always the person to initiate chats back then. Adulthood has changed that. I’ve fallen victim to the “I talked to them first last time, so it’s their turn” mentality, which eventually warped into “I’ll talk to them tomorrow,” and we all know tomorrow never comes. I’m also super bad about thinking of texting someone while I’m in bed, then forgetting about it when I wake up. Socializing and I just don’t get along.

It also doesn’t help that most of my friendships are long distance. I hate the phone and always forget to email people back in a timely manner if it isn’t business type stuff. Hell, I can’t even write letters to my oldest sister (the jailbird) on anything like a regular basis. And yes, I realize this is all on me. I apologize for it repeatedly with different people. I just don’t know how to break myself of my reclusive habits.

Forever-Alone-Meme-1 — Also, when I do talk to people, this kind of stuff happens.

I’m sure my hermit habits impact other areas of my life besides friendship too. After all, how am I supposed to meet a potential significant other if I’m never talking to people? How am I supposed to network for business connections if I don’t want to bother people (another big reason I hesitate when texting or messaging: I don’t really want to pester them, I just say I do)? I need to be more sociable. As much as it pains me to admit that, it’s true.

So, what about you? What area could be improved in your life? Do you have any suggestions for overcoming reclusive tendencies?

See you all next week!

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